This proverb seems to be obvious, but given the current cultural climate it bears repeating:

Hear, my son, your father?s instruction, and forsake not your mother?s teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.
((The Holy Bible : English standard version. 2001 (Pr 1:8?9). Wheaton: Standard Bible Society.))

The relationship between a child and parent differs over time.  Children start out believing everything a parent says, and parents are the child?s world.  Children then begin to have other sources of information other than the parents.  And then the young person starts to wonder if his parents ?know anything.?  It then turns full circle and the child (now adult) wonders why she didn?t ask her parents for more advice when she was younger.

Now this isn?t to say that all parents are perfect?they aren?t.  However, by virtue of the fact that they have lived the time period that you are now living, and they have given birth to you, there is a lot that they know that you do not.

In this proverb, the author likens the instruction of the father and the mother?s teachings to a garland or crown to the head and jewelry around the neck.  These are valuable things?things that are not common but rare.

The idea is that those that would take the time to hear their father?s instruction and follow their mother?s teaching would be blessed.

In other words, we should listen to our parents, for their wisdom can be a blessing to us.

Children are blessings that are given to parents.  They were not given to the government, they were not given to a future employer?they were given to parents.

That means that parents are responsible for the raising and actions of the child.

That being said, the state and the culture want many parents to believe that they play only a minor part?or only have to play a minor role?and that parents can continue to do whatever they want (almost acting like children!) and not think about this role that was given them by God.

The Confusion

The reason that there is confusion when it comes to parental responsibility is that the state wants to indoctrinate your kids and to mold them in their image.  However, they?re more than willing to pin the responsibility for the bad behavior or lawlessness that results.

I?m not sure that this is intentional, but it is certainly the consequence.

What Can You Do?

If you must send your child to a government school, maintain an active dialog with the child and keep up with what they are learning.  Teaching them critical thinking skills is important.  They will be up against all sorts of challenges every day while you?re not there.

If you can, look at your finances and figure out that you don?t need that second job, second car, and expensive house.  Opt out of the two-job mindset and get out of debt.  That way you can afford to teach your children yourself.

Children are your Blessing

That means that you need to take every available minute to be with them and instruct them.  Not so that you?re helicoptering, but that you teach them how to grow and live in the world as responsible adults ready for responsibility.

Then your children will bring you joy in your old age.  It?s a lot of hard work, but it?ll be worth is.

I think sometimes organized activities take away more than they give. In making each moment count for something, we lose track of what’s sacred. We fill our lives and our minds, but what about our souls? Sometimes you have to have *time* to stop, in order to recapture the magic of “appreciating the ordinary”.

Here are some places to start, a word of warning though: Plans very often need adjusted, and sometimes the best memories are messy.

1. Pack a picnic lunch and explore up a new place in which to enjoy it. My girls and I will never forget the rainy day in which we packed lunch to a favorite park. Our intention was to enjoy it from the refuge of the park’s tee-pee, but sadly, the tee-pee wasn’t leak proof. So we improvised. Just up the hill from the park is an old cabin with a covered porch. We spread our blanket out on the porch and enjoyed being the only ones out on such a day…
2. Surprise! Do something spontaneous, such as loading everyone up in their pajamas for an evening run to get ice-cream.
3. Never underestimate the thrill of baking. Have fun making individual pizzas, letting each child personalize their own according to size, shape and toppings. Or translate this same activity to sugar cookies. Make sure you have an abundance of *cool* sprinkles and two or three frosting choices! And don’t forget the simple joys…children love to flip pancakes, crack eggs and stir up ingredients.
4. Play “pillow fairy”…this is especially fun for little ones who haven’t yet lost any teeth for the tooth fairy to collect. Slip something special under their pillow as they sleep, something “just because”… One thing we’ve done, is to stuff something in an unfilled balloon, such as a “coupon” for an ice cream cone with mom, a trip to daddy’s job, or a dollar bill. For extra mileage, write something on the balloon with marker. Then your child has to blow up the balloon, read what’s written on the outside and then keep blowing till it pops and they can collect their “coupon”.
5. Have a tea party. Go all out. Use the china and sugar cubes, speak with a British accent, and wear dress-up clothes. This is a good time to introduce your children to the delicacies of scones with Devonshire cream, not to mention a great time to practice “high-society” manners! (FYI, some of our favorite tea party sides have simply been grapes and pb&j!)
6. Home-made picture place mats–An especially memorable craft. These become keepsakes, to be used for years. Our girls each have one that features pictures of them and their siblings, as well as favorite pets. Use colored poster board and mod-podge the pictures, as well as card stock letterings and other scrap-booking type things of interest to your child. I wrote a poem for each of our girls, along similar lines, but unique to them and their gifts they bring to our family… To finish this project, have it laminated at your local office supply store, or seal it between pieces of clear Contact paper.
7. Make a special “book on tape” for your children. Once when I knew I was going to be gone overnight, I tape recorded myself reading several library books that I’d especially hand-picked, knowing they’d be favorites. Of course, this was all very hush-hush, and I left it in a basket of other goodies for them to discover and enjoy while I was gone. They wore that tape out…
8. Celebrate half-birthdays. These can be especially nice for children with birthdays coinciding with big holidays. Keep it a family-only celebration and brainstorm ways to expand on the “half” theme…make “half” a cake, with “half” the candles, give silly half presents, such as one sibling giving half of a pair of gloves and the other sibling giving its match…
9. Favorite places. Every property should have a “favorite place”. My oldest can describe hers perfectly. It’s up on the hill behind our home, by a large flat rock and a lone pine tree. She loves to disappear up there on beautiful days, with a drawing pad and a blanket to spread on the ground. Devote some time to creating special places, indoor and out, with your children. Then sometimes send them on treasure hunts that end up at that special place…with a bouquet of sharpened colored pencils or some such treat awaiting them there of course!
10. Build a bonfire. If you’re in the city or under other fire code restrictions, use your BBQ grill or fireplace/fire pit, or drive to the lake…in any case, build a small campfire and sit around it sipping hot chocolate and roasting marshmallows. Sing songs and tell favorite stories from your childhood. Laugh and be silly. Be refreshed and warm-hearted, just make sure you have sweaters to go around, because the fun will long outlast the sun…

Make the time to nurture. In this materialistic world of ours, nurturing has become an invisible, unpopular ideal. We all want to be productive and well-organized, but at what cost? It might mean staying up later at night to finally get the laundry put away, or the bookwork done, but the trade-off? Our children’s assurance that they fill our hearts, have captured our attention, that we love them and savor all time spent with them.

They won’t be children forever.

Children truly are a blessing.  They fill your life in so many ways. They make you smile, and they truly love you no matter what.

The problem is that they can also drive you crazy!

Yes, we all love them, but that doesn’t mean that they have to be with us every moment of every day, and so here are 7 reasons that you need a date without kids:

7. You think that Chicken Nuggets are Gourmet Food.

If it’s been a long time since the last time you were out without kids, you may notice that there are more things on the menu than hot dogs, hamburgers and chicken nuggets. There are so many great things to taste and eat that this is a good reason to find a sitter and leave the kids at home.

6. All of your Conversation Topics center on Your Children

Have you lost your identity since you had children? This is very often the case. We get wrapped up in what Susie or Johnnie did or didn’t do, how many words they can spell, and how many teeth they’ve lost that we lose sight of those things that we enjoyed when we were first married. Figuring out who you are only after your kids are gone can result in scary results!

5. Your life Revolves around Two or Three Places.

If you’re like a lot of parents of small children (I raise my hand here too!), then you probably find that most of your week revolves around your home, your work, and your church. Going to the grocery store is now considered an outing, and visiting family substitutes for cultural enrichment. The problem is that a lot of the places that you could go, you aren’t able to because of nap times, bed times, feeding times, or whining children.

4. You don’t know what you’d do on a Night By Yourselves.

This is a big sign that you need a night out– alone. How many times have you asked your spouse “what do you want to do tonight” and they don’t have answer… or it’s the same thing you always do? When’s the last time that you tried something new or different? Why do you let the children be an excuse?

3. You need better communication.

This goes along with your conversation topics, but when’s the last time that you actually tried to get to know one another? How easy is it to grow to love and know your spouse better when Sally’s asking you for the salt over and over again. Taking time away from television and spending quality time with your spouse can only make your marriage better.

2. Your Family is only as strong as your Relationship with your Spouse.

Your kids are not only learning how to be a good future marriage partner from you– they’re also directly effected by how you show love to your spouse. If your spouse is having a bad day and you bridge the gap– that’s a direct effect. If you love your spouse with an active love, it will shine through and you’ll see it in your children.

1. There are just Some Things You Can’t do While they’re around.

And sometimes, after they’ve gone to bed you’re just too tired. Enough said.