?I love you.? 

?143.?

?I heart you.?

All different ways to say something that shares your feelings, and yet we need actions to back them up?we need to show our love, and not just say it.  Sure, anyone can say it with flowers or chocolates, but how about saying it with your whole being?

First 5

6. Love When No One Else is Watching

It?s easy to show love in front of others because it is to our own personal gain.  Whether it?s so that people believe that a marriage in trouble is just fine, you?re showing a united front, or someone in front of you just showed love, when others are watching you and they can see what you are doing you can get a pat on the back for doing a good job.

However, when you take the time to show your love behind the scenes?the lunch that he?d have to make, the dishes she?d have to do?you are saying I love you to them in ways that touch them deeper than you know.

7. Speak Positively of Them

We all know the circumstances.  People are away from their husband or wife and they decide to tell the juicy tidbit of how their spouse failed.  They are all set to tell how their wife never lets them do anything or their husband just loafs around the house.

What they don?t realize, however, is that this kind of talk influences how people look at the missing person, and can actually hurt that spouse.  Not only does it rehearse the things that we shouldn?t be thinking about our loved one (because we are a product of what we think and what we do), but it hurts other people?s opinion of that person.

To that end, we should make sure that our communication in the presence of others always seeks to build up the people we love, not tear them down.

8. Take Out the Garbage

No, I?m not talking about that garbage.  I?m talking about the garbage in your mind.  Many of us carry the equivalent of garbage about certain loved ones in our minds.  We have mental (or in some cases physical) lists of where they?ve failed and how much it hurt.  We keep track of things that they?ve said or done, even after they?ve asked forgiveness.

We allow this garbage to build, and to be used time and again in fights or future conflicts, and this garbage belonged long disposed of and replaced with positive thoughts and encouragement.

Nothing says I love you like not keeping track of wrongs.

9. Look Forward to Their Arrival

Time apart is something that no couple wants but all couples must face.  Whether it?s the dating couple that says good-bye after a great night out together or the couple that has to say good-bye for work reasons, couples are usually not together every day for twenty-four hours.  That being said, it?s important to make sure that you consciously look forward to their return.  That you make sure that you anticipate it, and that your loved one knows that you missed them.

10. Take Time to Prepare Yourself For Them

Kristin said it best on this post when she said:

I think a lot of women underestimate how much men appreciate their wife always appearing presentable. My older sister and her husband have been married for over seven years (since she was 20 and he was 19) and despite having three children she still takes the time to dress nicely, do her makeup and hair, and wear perfume every day even if she isn?t leaving the house. Just by doing these simple things she can let her husband know that he is the reason she wants to look beautiful, not for anyone else.

Love says that you?re the most important person in my life?not anyone else?and I want to show it.

But you can show that you love someone without saying it, and sometimes that vivid illustration can say what words cannot.

1. Submitting to the Other

One of the things that will show your love like nothing else is by putting aside your desires for theirs.  I?m not saying that you need to be a slave to someone, but when you?re in love and showing it, you will naturally find that you?re willing to do whatever the other person wants to do?you just want to be with them no matter what.

What comes so easy when you?re dating or courting should also be something that you work on and practice in marriage, so that your let the person that you love know that being with them is more important than getting your own way.

2. Thinking of Them

When you were dating, or if you?re still dating, your lover is always on your mind.  You?re thinking about the next time you?ll be together.  You?re pondering what they?re doing or wearing.  You?re hoping that they?ll call.

This is when you should write down something to show them later, or you should give them a call, drop them an e-mail or send a text.  You?re thinking about them, and I?m sure they?ll be happy to know it.

3. Be There in the Tough Times

It?s easy to be around when things are going well.  It?s hard to be with people when they?re making you mad or they are going through difficult times.  It is in these tough times that you can show your love more powerfully than at any other time in your relationship.  It is during these difficult times that you show them that they are more than the happiness that they bring you?they are someone that you truly love.

4. Share Your True Self

Many of us are adept at playing the hypocrite.  No, I?m not calling everyone a liar, but what I am saying is that we all wear masks?the thickest we wear is the one that many of us wear to church.

The longer that you?ve been in a relationship with someone, the thinner the mask is between you and them?because they see you even when you?re tired out.  However, even in this case, it?s rare that someone shows who they truly are, and what they truly struggle with.

If you?re able to share with your lover who you truly are, and they know what you?re doing, they will know that you truly love and trust them.

5. Sacrifice

This kinda goes along with #1, but is slightly different.  Whereas submission chooses to do something that someone else wants, sacrifice takes something that you want and, knowing that you both can?t have it, gives it up for the good of the other person.

If you can do this without calling attention to the fact that you?re doing it, then you?ve truly shown love indeed?for true love doesn?t call attention to oneself, but seeks the best for someone else.

Part 2 tomorrow?

There have been a lot of calls in recent years for the return of the ?real man.?  We say that he went missing, replaced by the ?meterosexual? or the feminized man.

And now, everyone?s out there trying to define what a real man is.  They define it by hobbies?does he like to fish or hunt?  Some define it as grooming habits.  Others define it by what it?s not: getting facials, botox, etc.

However, all of these are just shots in the dark, as it were.  The truth is that the whole dynamic between men and women have changed, and few want to go back.

It?s been said that both men and women want a wife.  In the poem, I Think You Want a Wife the author tells single women that if they?re truly looking for a husband, they won?t be looking for the qualities that are supposed to be found in a wife, and what you will be as a wife.

The problem is that few people actually believe these roles are worthwhile.  They look at them as cast offs?things from a long dead era.  In order for the ?real man? to return, the ?real wife? would have to return.  In order for the ?real man? to return, a lot of the influence of feminism would have to be erased.

And I?m not sure we truly want the ?real man??we probably just want what we believe surrounded him?we remember him with nostalgia.

Join me as we look into the roles of men and women from a Biblical perspective, and central to this discussion is whether the roles that the Bible has for men and women are applicable any longer, and if they are, what should we do about them?

Each and every day presents us with a chance to make a difference in the lives of those around us.  We impact each person that we interact with on different levels, and the strange thing is that most of the time we don’t even think about how we will interact– even though if we did we could dramatically improve our relationships.

With that in mind, I want to ask you this question: What will you do this weekend to say “I love you?” It could be to your spouse, your family, or some friend, but if we start to ask the question now we should have something in mind so that when the time comes we actually have a better chance of making a difference in someone’s life.

For me, I will be going to see The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything– a VeggieTales movie tonight with my wife and kids. They’ve been looking forward to this movie for quite some time, although it may be because of two things:

1. They’re really into pirates right now (being boys)
2. They really want to see the bad pirate that has hands.

But this gives us a good chance to get out of the house, get a babysitter for our little one, and maybe get some food while we’re out.

Saturday we’re going to get groceries, but I hope to sneak something special in with the groceries for my wife.

Sunday we have a Patch the Pirate performance Sunday morning, and my oldest has his first speaking part, that should be interesting. I plan on bringing the camera or something to record this event. That way we can remember this special time.

What do you have planned this weekend, and in what ways are you going to be kind?