Weekend Kindness
Reaching Others Through Kindness

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Gary Chapman has made millions from the sales of his book The Five Love Languages. Thousands of couples appreciate what he has to say about the different ways we demonstrate to and receive love from our spouses. Just in case you don’t remember, he writes that the five love languages are receiving gifts, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, and physical touch.

Much of what Chapman writes is good and helpful, however, I am afraid that his five love languages are backfiring on us. The idea that we have one or two languages with which we can demonstrate and understand love is too narrow, in my opinion. Far too many couples use “You’re not speaking my language,” as an excuse to discount their spouse’s efforts to show love. The ways and means by which we can demonstrate love and affection are only limited by our own imagination, creativity, and how well we have gotten to know our significant other. Likewise, the ways we can receive love from others is only limited by our own hearts and minds.

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Sometimes it’s not the big things that say “I love you” the most, but the ordinary things, the small things.

Take, for instance, lunch time.  At my home I’m blessed to be able to come home for lunch every day. My wife blesses me in that she has lunch ready for when I get home, and we’re able to talk about what’s going on in my day. She also tries to have dinner ready around the time I get home.

Yesterday, I was reminded of how much she loved me by what was in my glass for lunch. Usually we have few choices of what to drink at my house– milk, water, juice, and occasionally Kool-Aid. The other day, while we were out grocery shopping I grabbed some Dr. Pepper to take to work (am I the only one that needs a mid-afternoon jolt of caffeine?), but I haven’t taken it to work yet, and today, when I came home for lunch, what was there but a glass of Dr. Pepper instead of milk.

You see, it’s not always the big things in the life that communicate your love, but the little things that you do that puts them first, that shows them that you’re thinking of them over yourself. It’s these things that can make a difference.