Weekend Kindness
Reaching Others Through Kindness

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Last Monday marked the seventh year my wife and I have been married, and on that day one of my coworkers and I had an interesting conversation.  He said that he believed that seven was a big year inasmuch as it would indicate how well a marriage could survive.

Then he said that it was only seven years that he and the mother of his children were able to stay together.

The statistics for divorce are incredible—and very sad.  What’s more, it says something about the way that we approach commitments and, in turn, the way that our children will approach commitments.

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The Trip

Our summer plans this year include a major move!  We are preparing to embark on a 4700 mile move. Yes, 4700 miles! We are also driving (except for three days on a ferry). I often hear people with only a few children talk about the stress of traveling. They are usually much shorter distances too! I have been pitied and then asked how we keep our sanity on such trips. I will admit that we have not made a trip quite this long before, our longest was a year ago when we traveled 3300 miles (all by car). We did have a few bumps along the way too. Take a moment to read about our $400 Bee?

Here are a few statistics for our upcoming move:

• 4700 miles
• two vehicles driven
• eight children (plus being pregnant)
• two dogs, kennels, bed, and other supplies
• 1 month for travel
• luggage and necessities for living out of suitcases for about 3 months (plus what is needed for camp)
• 2 coolers

Sounds like fun right????? If you answered that with a resounding “NO!” let me tell you that you would already be doomed to have a not so fun trip! I thought that I would share some of our secrets for having a great trip even while driving 2 vehicles with a large family, 2 dogs, hundreds of pounds of luggage, months of living out of suitcases, and so many miles ahead of us.

• Sounds like fun right?? Your answer should be, “We cannot wait for this grand adventure!” If you look at it positively then things are more likely to go well for you. Even things like a $400 bee can be seen as an adventure. Look for the positive because getting angry, frazzled, and upset NEVER makes the miles any shorter and more often than not makes them seem longer.
• Plan some fun stops along the way. Give the children something to look forward to. Make it a mini vacation. You have to stop so why not stop somewhere fun?
• Take advantage of hotel pools. The children have been cooped up all day long let them have a way to exert some energy. It doesn’t take much, even a half an hour will do.
• Let the children stay up late and watch television and snack in bed. Yes, they may not want to wake up in the morning but they will often go back to sleep once you hit the road.
• Pack your coolers well. Make sure you have plenty of healthy snacks, as non-messy as possible, on hand. This keeps you from having to make more stops, spend more money, and keeps the little ones happy and distracted for a while.
• Take along some stories on CD. Long stories. One trip we listened to Focus on the Family’s theater version of the Chronicles of Narnia. On another trip we listened to some G.H. Henty stories on CD. All of the children were engrossed in them and often complained when we had to stop for gas. They didn’t want to stop, they wanted to hear more of the story!
• Enjoy your time in the hotel. Free breakfast and no beds to make. You can even leave the towels on the floor! It is like having a maid.
• Living out of suitcases isn’t so bad either. You have much less laundry to manage than you would if you had your entire wardrobes. Sure the laundromat isn’t all that fun but you get every load of laundry done at the same time!
• Get an early start (it doesn’t have to be super early), the day doesn’t seem as long if you arrive at your destination while it is still daylight and you have a few hours to move and let the littles wiggle a bit. It seems much longer and more tiring if you arrive in the dark only to go to bed and start over again in the morning.
• Take pillows, little blankets, and a favorite doll, toy, or book. Limit it to only one (you usually have more than enough stuff to keep track of)! Yes, it takes up more room but if your children are comfortable they will endure the long hours better.
• For us, smaller suitcases with handles and wheels for each child (or two littles per suitcase) works better than larger suitcases with several children sharing. They are responsible for their own things and are responsible for moving it to and from the van.
• Since we must take both of our vehicles when we move, walkie-talkies are great! Hubby and I can contact each other easily when one of us needs to make a pit stop or just chat about the scenery along the way.
• Keep in mind that children are children and not adults. They do not always endure hours in the car the way an adult does. Be prepared to have to make occasional stops to let the one year old out of the car seat to run. Treat them with a happy and loving tone, this always works better than getting angry with them. They may still cry and be upset but you are the adult and you can set a cheerful tone.
• MOST IMPORTANTLY- bathe your trip in prayer!!!

When I first read this I knew that I must share it.  This list of questions from the ladies of Beauty of the Heart hits right to the core and exposes us for who we truly are…

• Do you act out of obedience to Christ and a passion for His glory–or your own?
• How do you spend your time?
• How much of your time per day is spent chatting with friends (online, on the phone or in person)?
• How much of your time per day is spent daily in conversation with family members?
• How much of your time is spent daily speaking to God?
• How often do you meditate on the Cross? (Once a day? Once a week? Once a year?)
• Do you set time aside every day for prayer and Bible study?
• Do you try to faithfully obey God in public and at home?
• Do you ask God for the grace to help you obey consistently?
• What people, books, movies, etc. influence you the most?
• Do you read books, watch movies, or listen to music that does not encourage your walk with Christ? Do you think this is wise?
• Are your friends fellow Christians who are seeking after godliness? Or do they encourage you in gossip and ungodly thoughts?
• If so, do you also join in that gossip and allow those thoughts to dominate your mind?
• What are your main spheres of influence?
• What steps could you take to become a stronger influence of a Christ-like attitude to friends, siblings, neighbors, relatives, etc.?
• Do you actively serve in your community?
• When making decisions, do you consider how they affect others?

Wow, talk about a lot of questions, but they’re terribly accurate.  I would add one of A.W. Tozer’s questions where he asks “Where does your mind go when you have nothing else pertinent to think about?”

Hopefully it wasn’t last father’s day.  And yet telling your dad that you love him, for a son, is one of the most awkward things you can do if the father didn’t set out building that degree of transparency all the way up.

I can’t remember the first time I ever told my grandfather I loved him—but it was later on in life.  As his life started nearing its end, I made sure that a conversation did not go by where I let him know that I loved him.

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David Plotz and Hanna Rosin decided to put their love and marriage of 11 years to the test by trying not to be more than 15 feet apart an entire day.  They were inspired by a couple of buddhists that were doing the same thing for 10 years, and they wondered what a day would be like. 

What they found was interesting.  Though neither of them wanted to do it the following day, they learned a lot about who the other person was and a lot about what spending time together truly meant.

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Having trouble trying to figure out what do you with your sweetheart next week?  Let Weekend Kindness help you with some ideas:

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What a great list of links we have for this carnival– please take the time to visit these people, and let me know what you think!  Thank them for being a part of today’s carnival.

Lin Burress presents So Sexy, So Soon: The Sexualization of Childhood in Commercial Culture posted at Telling It Like It Is.

Theresa L. Twogood presents Just What If…What Then? posted at OLIN e-Book e-Publishing.

Michael Snyder presents 10 Powerful Secrets For How To Build A Great Marriage posted at Shattered Paradigm.

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