“Why?” is a loaded question.  Though it’s only one word, it carries with it a lot of baggage.

When the person hears “Why…?” the mind processes this as a question that someone asks because they cannot understand your reasoning.  It can be humiliating in a way, for something that you seem to believe was the right decision at the time is now being brought into question.

It forces the one being questioned to lay out all of their thoughts and make bare their motivations, but in a way that makes them feel stupid for coming to the conclusion that they did.

It’s much better to ask questions that get to the heart of the matter without the judgmental undertones.

For example:

• “What were the ideas that went into this decision?”
• “How were you influenced to make this decision?”
• “Did you consider this scenario?”
• “What made you change your mind?”

In all of these you’re approaching the person in the quest of gaining more information, but in a non-judgmental way.  When using “Why?”, all you seem to be doing is trying to prove you’re smarter or better than the other person.

Submission does not mean “door mat”, but instead means that one chooses to allow the other person to lead.  I like to think of it like rank in the Army—submission means that the authority belongs with another, and that I should obey what they have to say—even when I may have a different, and sometimes better, opinion.

However, did you know that there are 6 times when a wife should not submit to her husband?

It’s true, submission is not always the order, but we must be careful with these.  You see, there’s a balance that’s in Scripture, and it’s put there not simply because the requirements are equal, but because the sexes are wired differently.

What you will notice is that every time there’s a passage on the way that the husband and wife are to act in marriage that the wife is addressed first, and that the wife is told to submit and the man is told to love the wife.

Could this be a coincidence?

Perhaps “Ladies First” was a custom in the ancient times as well, but I think that the Holy Spirit guided these conversations because He knew what each spouse would have trouble with.

Wives, Submit and Respect

Spelled out in clear English, the command to the wife is to submit to her husband and to show him respect.  When we go back to the Garden of Eden to look in on Adam and Eve after the fall, we don’t see much respect—when Seth is born you can almost hear Eve say “behold, now I have a man from God” as a put down to her husband that she might still blame for not standing up to her in Eden.

The truth is that in Genesis 3:16 when God tells Eve of her new rank and relationship with her husband that it didn’t end the desire to be in charge right then.  And though many thousands of years have passed, there have always been women that have sought to usurp authority over men.

Which is why the Bible clearly states that women are to submit.  They are to rank under the man in the family structure.  This isn’t a position of inequality—both are equal before God.  But just as the President and the average American citizens are both citizens but one has more authority than the other, so a wife is to consider herself lower rank than her husband.

Furthermore, she is to respect him.  She is not to hold it against him that he is the leader.  She is not to cut him down when he is not around.  She is to give him what he needs—which is not only her support, but her respect.

Husbands, Love—as Christ Loved the Church

For some reason, women tend to think that this is lesser of a command than the one given to them.  That’s led, in my opinion, to many sermons that emphasize this love to the point of missing the meaning.

Yes, Christ loved the church enough to die for it.  Many men in good marriages would give their lives for their families.

The part in here that you should get is that this command is something that God knows the wife needs.  She needs his love—an emotional bonding between the two of them that he needs to invest in.

You see, he’s not naturally wired to love.  He may have feelings, but they are temporary.

What he needs to do is to actively show love to his wife.  So just like all the good blessings Christ bestows upon us, this is what he must do for her.  Just as Christ leads us along, so he must lead her.  Just as Christ patiently develops a relationship with us, so we must do so with her.

The Picture of Christ

Marriage is supposed to be a Picture of Christ.  You would never say that the Church should wait until it sees Christ love (perhaps in the number of members it gets, or a new projector or organ) before it submits and respects Christ—so just like that, the wife should unconditionally submit and respect her husband.

You know that Christ loved the church even when she was unlovely, and that He’s actively cleansing it to be his perfect bride.  So the husband should love the wife regardless of what sin she commits and whether or not she respects and submits to him.

However, both of these people should be doing these things!

Only then will all the needs be met and the family will function as God intended—both for blessing them and displaying God’s love to the world around them.

We’ve all been there, right?  For one reason or another, we’ve had to be apart, and during that time apart we want the other person to feel as strongly as we feel how much they are missed.

You see, you care deeply, and you want that other person—be it a spouse, a boyfriend or some other family member or friend to realize that you are thinking about them.

To that end, here’s 5 Creative Ways to Say “I Miss You”:

1. Come Visit Me

For the guy or gal that’s been taken away on a business trip, nothing says “I Miss You” more than arranging for that loved one to come and visit you where you are.  If you’re gone for a month or even a couple of weeks, make all the arrangements to have the other come visit you where you are.  It’ll be a fun weekend for both of you, and you’ll get to share the adventure of new surroundings.

2. Leave Something Behind

This doesn’t take as much planning.  The idea is that you leave something of yourself behind.  Could be as little as a scent in a room, or it could be something in an obvious place that makes them think of you.

Want to get really creative?  Leave a message in soap on the mirror and when it gets all steamed up your spouse will get it!

3. Hide Notes In the House

Preparation will always yield great results.  If you take the time before you leave to hide notes in the house, then as the notes are found the person will think of you.  The fun part is recounting to one another what was hidden where, and if there’s still some that haven’t been found.

4. Have a Surprise Delivered To the House

Surprises work all the time.  Nothing says “I’m thinking about you” than something showing up on the front step. Especially if it’s something personal that you’ve put together.  That’s why care packages work they way that they do!

5. Spend Time Talking

Sure, you can text, e-mail, and chat in a bunch of different ways, but there’s something about the sound of your voice (and perhaps video?) that will make them hear how much you are.

Now, you should choose one of these things, unless you’ll be a long time, because if you do too many you may inundate the poor person!  But I promise you that these creative ways to say “I Miss You” will show your feelings to the one you miss.

In today?s world of texting, cell phones and instant everything, it?s easy to think that our loved one is just a couple of seconds away.  When we hear their voice, we can think that they are across the hall instead of across the globe.

And yet, they are not there.  They are not filling that space in your house, or in your bed.  They are not doing something near by, and there?s something raw and tangible in the idea of them being with you, instead of tethered by electronics.

To help convey the true feelings of your heart, here are 10 different ways to say ?I Miss You.?

1. Remind them of Things You did Together

Nothing tells a person better the love that you have for them and the fact that they are missed then you reminding them of time that you shared together and what you liked about that time?and how you wish you could do that again.  Remind them of what they were wearing, what the smells are like: recreate the event so that you can feel the emotions anew.

The emotional bond between two people can be just as strong?or stronger?when you?re apart if you can focus your memories to reliving events.

2. Send Them a Surprise, Impractical Gift

It doesn?t have to be something big, but the fact that you put in the effort to make sure they get a surprise will definitely make them know that they are loved and missed.

This is the same way a husband or wife lets their partner know that while they are at work they miss their spouse by having flowers delivered.  It?s something that lets them know that they are special and that the spouse is thinking about them.

If this gift is something too practical, then it loses some of the magic.  This is supposed to be a ?because I love you? not ?because you needed a new toaster oven.?

3. Send Them a Photo

People change every day, but one of the great things about modern technology is that we can keep up with appearances even though we may be far away.

Now, the photo?s I?m talking about aren?t driver?s license photos, or some kind of portraits, but every day photos with some degree of intimacy.

What you?re trying to convey is that you love them and that you miss them?and what they are missing and not being able to be a part of.  While the goal is not jealousy, it?s an outpouring of emotion.

Now, these photos can be intimate, they can be special apparel, or they can be goofy?that?s up to you.  The one that?s away should be sending photos of where they are and what they are seeing and the one that?s behind should be sending photos of what the adventurer has left behind.

4. Count Down the Days

Nothing says ?I miss you? more than you knowing just how many days there are between now and when you?ll be reunited.  You see it all over Facebook and couples are always counting down to something, so let your loved one know how much you care by knowing how long it is until you?ll be reunited.

You don?t have to obsess about it, but make sure you keep it in any written correspondence.  Make it a little game, a little cryptic, and it will be a great touch.

5. Don?t Talk to them All The Time

Though you may be tempted to always be connected with them, don?t be.  Absence will make the heart grow fonder, but if you?re constantly calling, writing, etc. you will find that eventually they will feel that they?re being smothered and they might start to ignore you or push you away.

This can especially happen in Long Distance Relationships before marriage.

My advice: strike a good balance between letting them know that you care and letting them have space, and they?ll be happy to come back to you and will include you in all the new memories that they have!

Double dating is a great way to get out with some friends and have a good time.  Many people have trouble double dating because there are some obstacles that they let get in the way: children, habit, preferred activities.

The important thing to remember is that you should take the opportunity to double date for the following reasons:

1. You need to try something new.

Most of the time, couples will do things familiar to them, they will do things that they know that they like.  And most of the time (if they?re still dating) they get bored of doing these things.  I mean, how many times can we sit at home playing Monopoly before someone says ?Enough!?

Another couple probably has other likes and dislikes, and you shouldn?t be afraid to try something new?who knows, you might like it too!

2. You need to get away from the kids.

This doesn?t have as big an impact if you?re still dating?although you could apply this to your siblings.  Parents, especially those that are involved in daily care of children, need to have a break where they can do things with other adults.  In some families, you may begin to think that the adult life consists simply of diaper duty, kissing boo boos and watching Dora the Explorer.

Double dating allows you to get out of the house with adult companionship and there you can work on bonding with adults using adult conversation.  Of course this may also mean that you have to find a babysitter.  But the time away is priceless.

3. Double dating strengthens your bond.

It?s one thing if you?re always doing something that?s just the two of you.  It?s another thing when you add another couple.  Let me try to illustrate.

When it?s just the two of you, and you play a bored board game, it?s you against him.  When you?re with another couple, it?s you and him against them!

The two of you are seen as a couple, a unit, and not as individuals pitted against each other.

4. Double dating gives you a chance to relate to the same sex.

When you double date, you have a chance to talk with someone of the same sex.  You may find that your husbands have similar problems or that your wives both like to scrapbook.  You get a chance to talk with someone that has a good chance of understanding where you?re coming from.

5. You have a chance to feel good about your relationship.

Knowing that you can have fun with other people, and that your partner is there with you, will help strengthen your bond both during the outing and also afterward.  You?ll get a chance to see him or her in front of someone else, and see that they love you?not that other person.

That?s priceless.

So, what are you waiting for?  Time for you to get out, find some friends, and schedule that outing ASAP!

Finding wisdom is not for the faint of heart?and few are the people that actually understand its worth.

When Solomon became King of Israel after his father David, God approached Solomon with a proposition?ask for whatever you desire and it will be granted to you.  He could have asked for gold, riches, or a great kingdom.  Instead, he asked for wisdom and knowledge to lead God?s people well.

In the first part of Proverbs 2, we see the writer trying to impart the value of wisdom on his child.  You see, many will not pursue wisdom.  Yes, they?ll take what?s easy to know, and get a lot of information, but they will not go far looking after wisdom, for to know true wisdom requires work.

My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you,  making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding;  yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God.

The writer of Proverbs likens wisdom to seeking after silver and hidden treasure.  We all know the stories of people that have dedicated their lives toward finding shipwrecked treasure and ?the big find.?

Our writer is saying that following hard after wisdom is a noble goal and that only if you receive knowledge and search for it are you going to find it.

It?s not something that you?ll stumble upon.  It?s not something easy to find.  It is hard, but it is worth it.

For us?we know that there are many decisions to be made in life, and that there are also many things that we do that we wish we would have considered another option.  Wisdom is one of those things that we?ll look back and wish we would have pursued?or we will plan to get while others are accumulating things that cost them less.

The choice is up to us.

The beginning of the book of Proverbs starts with a truth: The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and understanding. In verses 20-33, the author goes one step further.

Beginning in verse 20, Wisdom is personified, and seen crying out in the marketplace, in the cities and wherever people can be found asking or pleading with the people to listen and learn.

Wisdom cries aloud in the street, in the markets she raises her voice; at the head of the noisy streets she cries out; at the entrance of the city gates she speaks:

?How long, O simple ones, will you love being simple?  How long will scoffers delight in their scoffing and fools hate knowledge?  If you turn at my reproof,   behold, I will pour out my spirit to you; I will make my words known to you.  Because I have called and you refused to listen, have stretched out my hand and no one has heeded, because you have ignored all my counsel and would have none of my reproof,  I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when terror strikes you, when terror strikes you like a storm and your calamity comes like a whirlwind, when distress and anguish come upon you.

Then they will call upon me, but I will not answer; they will seek me diligently but will not find me. Because they hated knowledge and did not choose the fear of the LORD, would have none of my counsel and despised all my reproof,  therefore they shall eat the fruit of their way, and have their fill of their own devices.

For the simple are killed by their turning away, and the complacency of fools destroys them;  but whoever listens to me will dwell secure and will be at ease, without dread of disaster.?
((The Holy Bible : English standard version. 2001 (Pr 1:20?33). Wheaton: Standard Bible Society.))

Wisdom is available, it?s proclaimed by the Bible and by those that follow God.  The laws of God are not unknown.  The warning here is the same warning that was given in Deuteronomy and will be true in Revelation.  If a people calls upon the name of the Lord and follows Him, then he will benefit from the richness of God?s blessing.

However, if a people choose to ignore Wisdom and ignore God, then they will reap what they sow.  And that?s what we get in the second half of this quote?Wisdom laughs at the calamity that has come, because it had warned about it in the past.

God knows all things, because He created all things.  There?s nothing that surprises God and nothing that He does not know.

That?s why the beginning of knowledge is the fear of God.

The people that you listen to, that you admire, hold sway over your opinions and worldview.  They effect your judgment process and can influence the decisions that you make.

Proverbs 1:10-19 offers us a warning about people around us that may encourage us to sin:

My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent.  If they say, ?Come with us, let us lie in wait for blood; let us ambush the innocent without reason; like Sheol let us swallow them alive, and whole, like those who go down to the pit; we shall find all precious goods, we shall fill our houses with plunder; throw in your lot among us; we will all have one purse?? my son, do not walk in the way with them; hold back your foot from their paths, for their feet run to evil, and they make haste to shed blood.

For in vain is a net spread in the sight of any bird, but these men lie in wait for their own blood; they set an ambush for their own lives. Such are the ways of everyone who is greedy for unjust gain;  it takes away the life of its possessors.
((The Holy Bible : English standard version. 2001 (Pr 1:10?19). Wheaton: Standard Bible Society.))

The Sinners

The first part of this passage assumes that we will know ?the sinners? when we see them?and this is truth.  Most often we know the groups of people that tend to be trouble.  Often people are attracted to them because they?re ?dangerous.?  But most of the time we know those are bad news.

If there were any doubt, what the sinners ask us to be a part of should be a dead giveaway.

In the case of this passage, the plan is to find an innocent person and to kill them for their money and goods. The admonition of this passage is that there are consequences for this sin?you will not get away blameless.  The comment at the end (?it takes away the life of its possessors?) could be interpreted two different ways.

If no one finds out that you were involved, you may get away with the crime, but you?ll always wonder if they?ll find out.  You see, in ancient Israel, if a person was killed (murder or accidental) the next of kin had the right to hunt down the killer and put them to death.  There was grace if you could get to the City of Refuge and convince them that it was accidental, but otherwise you were dead.

So you would either lose your life at the hand of the avenger, lose it because you?d be living in the City of Refuge until the death of the High Priest (or your own death), or you?d be on the run, always wondering if you?d get caught.

Applicable to Us

But how many times does someone proposition you and I to go commit murder?  I would venture to say that it?s not very often.  And yet I?m sure there are many times that we?ve been offered a chance to sin.

Whether it?s looking at something we shouldn?t, partaking of something we shouldn?t, stealing, cheating or something else, we have been tempted to be ?part of the crowd? or to sin.  I mean, at some level, accepting people jesting about the things of God could be called sin!

The writer of Proverb?s wisdom to us is not to let sinners entice us.  We must stand apart and stand up for what?s right.  Only then can we be safe.

This proverb seems to be obvious, but given the current cultural climate it bears repeating:

Hear, my son, your father?s instruction, and forsake not your mother?s teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.
((The Holy Bible : English standard version. 2001 (Pr 1:8?9). Wheaton: Standard Bible Society.))

The relationship between a child and parent differs over time.  Children start out believing everything a parent says, and parents are the child?s world.  Children then begin to have other sources of information other than the parents.  And then the young person starts to wonder if his parents ?know anything.?  It then turns full circle and the child (now adult) wonders why she didn?t ask her parents for more advice when she was younger.

Now this isn?t to say that all parents are perfect?they aren?t.  However, by virtue of the fact that they have lived the time period that you are now living, and they have given birth to you, there is a lot that they know that you do not.

In this proverb, the author likens the instruction of the father and the mother?s teachings to a garland or crown to the head and jewelry around the neck.  These are valuable things?things that are not common but rare.

The idea is that those that would take the time to hear their father?s instruction and follow their mother?s teaching would be blessed.

In other words, we should listen to our parents, for their wisdom can be a blessing to us.

The book of Proverbs opens with a call to those that would be wise.  It gives an introduction to the material that will be found therein, and invites the reader to ?increase in learning and to obtain guidance.?

The first actual proverb is found in verse 7:

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.

This passage is making a general statement.  If one wants to begin to understand knowledge, then they must start by fearing the Lord.

This fear isn?t necessarily the fear of ?what will He do to me? but instead the fear of reverence and position.  God, as the Creator of all things, knows all things.  Therefore, whatever He says is true.

The opposite is then stated:  Those that would refuse to gain knowledge from the Lord are fools?for fool despise wisdom and instruction.

It is from this framework and with this in mind that the writer of the following Proverbs is going to expound wisdom to the reader.  Though many of the things he will say are innately wise, only a mind that considers what the Lord has as valuable and true will be able to attest to it all.