Archive for the ‘Relationship Builder’ Category

Purity is More About the Heart than the Body

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At 13 years old, I went through a True Love Waits class and wore a purity ring. I decided to save my first kiss until marriage. I was made fun of many times for that decision. My friends would ask me, “But what if you marry a guy and he turns out to be a bad kisser?” I’ve also heard people say that you don’t buy a car without test-driving it first, so why would you get married without a little test-run? “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.” Matthew 5:8, 10-12. Because of my stand for purity, I was able to witness to the people I went to school with and I will be rewarded for my perseverance. G. K. Chesterton was a great Christian who said, “Jesus promised his disciples three things: that they would be completely fearless, absurdly happy, and in constant trouble.”
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AG is a Christian woman who's been married for three years and is hoping to start a family soon. She grew up in church as a pastor's kid and has loved Jesus her whole life. She has a passion for kids, teens, music, and missions, and praising God!
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Friday, February 29th, 2008

Maintaining a Pure Spirit

One of the most difficult things to do in this present, sex-driven culture is to remain pure in our thoughts and those things that we see.  This is even harder when you’re on the Internet– though it’s much different than it was just a few years ago.

The problem is a mixture of curiosity and the differing views society has on the matter.

Curiosity

Curiosity killed the cat, so they say. Curiosity is one of the reasons that we’re now in a sinful state. Satan said to Eve, “You won’t surely die,” but catch the next phrase: “and when she saw that it was good for food…” Sure, Satan talked Eve into doubting God, but Eve also had to become curious once she saw that she could eat it.

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MInTheGap has been commenting on the culture at large and current events since 2004. He enjoys spending time with his family, writing, and being active in his local church.
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Wednesday, February 27th, 2008

Purity in an Impure World

white-rose2.jpgThe quest for purity is making a comeback in America. Since 1993, nearly 2.5 million “True Love Waits” pledge cards have been signed by young men and young women who have made a commitment to remain pure and save sex for marriage. The “True Love Waits” commitment reads:

Believing that true love waits, I make a commitment to God, myself, my family, my friends, my future mate, and my future children to a lifetime of purity including sexual abstinence from this day until the day I enter a biblical marriage relationship.

Passion and purity may seem mutually exclusive. They are not. It is possible to feel passionately toward someone without following through physically. No one said it was easy, but it is possible.

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Claudia is a Christian wife with a wonderful family that includes three stepsons, two daughters-in-law, and three grandkids. She's a part-time copyeditor who writes to encourage strong, healthy marriages. Her latest writings are found at Marriage: Life, Love, and the Pursuit of Happiness.
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Monday, February 25th, 2008

Stories from the Farm

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My dad has always been great about spending quality time with my brother and me. Very often at bedtime, my dad would lay down in the middle of one of the kids’ beds and we’d each lay on either side of him, staring at the ceiling. My dad would reminisce about growing up on a small farm in Abilene, Kansas. He had so many stories to share with us, and they were always fascinating since my brother and I were raised in the city. I think my dad is the best storyteller there ever was.

Here’s one of his classics, as I remember it:

The Space-Test Rooster

Your grandmother would go to town to the Farmer’s Market on Sunday afternoons. One day when she came back, she had brought back some chicken eggs. That wasn’t so unusual. What was unusual was that the eggs were banty eggs.

Every animal on a farm has its purpose. It may be to lay eggs, produce milk, or work in the field. A banty chicken is much smaller than a normal chicken and is usually raised for show, not to lay eggs. So why your grandmother bought these little eggs, we’ll never know.

One by one, the eggs hatched and every one was a hen, except for one rooster. Since banty roosters are so much smaller than normal roosters, they have to be much more mean and aggressive to keep from getting picked on by the big roosters. This rooster was no exception. He thought he was the biggest, baddest guy in the whole yard.

I was about six years old and my brother was about four. Your grandfather would send us out to the barns and haylofts to get different supplies and help around the farm. Since we were so young and the doors were heavy, we’d only push them open far enough for us to squeeze in and out.

Whenever my brother or I were in the barns alone, the little rooster would stand in the crack in the doorway and block our escape route. Now, even though he was smaller than an ordinary rooster, he was vicious. He had a bad attitude and his beak and claws were dangerous. And to a six year old kid, he looked huge. We’d have to simply run for it and try to get past the rooster without getting too beat up.

My brother and I would tell your grandfather whenever the rooster attacked us, but since the rooster only attacked one of us at a time, grandfather didn’t believe it was as bad as we’d said. Well, one day, the banty made the mistake of cornering both of us together. After we got away from him, we both went to your grandfather and told him what happened.

“Okay,” he said, “let’s take him for a space-test.”

Your grandfather went to the barn and grabbed a five gallon bucket, went out to the yard, grabbed that little rooster, plopped him down into the bucket, and spun the bucket around and around and around and around. Then he dumped the dizzy rooster onto the ground.

He took two steps and fell over. You could watch his eyes and tell that the world was spinning like a top. He just laid there for a while, then, when the world stopped moving, he jumped up and took off running! He made a beeline away from the farmyard and disappeared over the hill. We never saw that poor rooster again.

Although it’s not so much the story that matters as the time spent with us, my dad was able to bring us for moments at a time into the world in which he grew up. I swear, sometimes my dad was magical. He gave us parts of himself that, no matter what happens, are ours to cherish. He sure knew how to make a kid feel special.



AG is a Christian woman who's been married for three years and is hoping to start a family soon. She grew up in church as a pastor's kid and has loved Jesus her whole life. She has a passion for kids, teens, music, and missions, and praising God!
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Friday, February 22nd, 2008

Love Means Doing The Thing You Don’t Want to Do

There’s a verse in Scripture that says faithful are the wounds of a friend.  A true friend is someone that not only does the easy things, but the hard things. A true friend is there with you through trials, and tells you what you need to hear. Those that show you the most love are those that do something– not because they’ll enjoy it, but because they know that it will make you happy.

Take, for instance, blogging. My wife tolerates my blogging, she reads a few of the blogs that I’ve found, and she’s not as into computers as me. And yet, she wrote a post and a comment on my blog– not because she wanted to or because she enjoys writing, but because she loves me.

That’s a small one, I know, but think about how much your spouse does for you every day. If it helps, make a list of the common and uncommon things– but focus more of your time on what he/she does for you without being asked every day that she could be, instead, doing something that they enjoyed.

Don’t take your relationship for granted, and thank them for even the ordinary things!



MInTheGap has been commenting on the culture at large and current events since 2004. He enjoys spending time with his family, writing, and being active in his local church.
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Tuesday, February 12th, 2008

Simple Things

Sometimes it’s not the big things that say “I love you” the most, but the ordinary things, the small things.

Take, for instance, lunch time.  At my home I’m blessed to be able to come home for lunch every day. My wife blesses me in that she has lunch ready for when I get home, and we’re able to talk about what’s going on in my day. She also tries to have dinner ready around the time I get home.

Yesterday, I was reminded of how much she loved me by what was in my glass for lunch. Usually we have few choices of what to drink at my house– milk, water, juice, and occasionally Kool-Aid. The other day, while we were out grocery shopping I grabbed some Dr. Pepper to take to work (am I the only one that needs a mid-afternoon jolt of caffeine?), but I haven’t taken it to work yet, and today, when I came home for lunch, what was there but a glass of Dr. Pepper instead of milk.

You see, it’s not always the big things in the life that communicate your love, but the little things that you do that puts them first, that shows them that you’re thinking of them over yourself. It’s these things that can make a difference.



MInTheGap has been commenting on the culture at large and current events since 2004. He enjoys spending time with his family, writing, and being active in his local church.
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Tuesday, February 12th, 2008

Breaking Out of the Routine

I love being married. I get to hang out with my husband–my best friend–every single day. I see him every morning, every evening, every weekend.

After more than fifteen years of marriage, though, it’s easy to let the routine become routine. I’m not saying we don’t enjoy being together. We just tend to take it for granted. When we do realize that we haven’t been out on a date in awhile, usually all we can think of on short notice is to go out to eat, or sometimes to a movie. It’s nice, but that kind of routine date doesn’t necessarily create lasting memories.

The dates that I remember the most, and that I think we ought to shoot for more often, are the quirky ones. Conveniently, they also tend to be the least expensive (sometimes they’re even free!).

So, without further ado, these are a few of my favorite dates:

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Mandy Houk is a freelance writer, high school English teacher, and home schooling mom of two girls. Her marriage of fifteen years to Fabulous Pete is fodder for most of her nonfiction writing. She hopes to encourage and challenge readers to take responsibility for making their marriages last--and flourish.
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Thursday, February 7th, 2008