In today’s world of texting, cell phones and instant everything, it’s easy to think that our loved one is just a couple of seconds away.  When we hear their voice, we can think that they are across the hall instead of across the globe.

And yet, they are not there.  They are not filling that space in your house, or in your bed.  They are not doing something near by, and there’s something raw and tangible in the idea of them being with you, instead of tethered by electronics.

To help convey the true feelings of your heart, here are 10 different ways to say “I Miss You.”

1. Remind them of Things You did Together

Nothing tells a person better the love that you have for them and the fact that they are missed then you reminding them of time that you shared together and what you liked about that time—and how you wish you could do that again.  Remind them of what they were wearing, what the smells are like: recreate the event so that you can feel the emotions anew.

The emotional bond between two people can be just as strong—or stronger—when you’re apart if you can focus your memories to reliving events.

2. Send Them a Surprise, Impractical Gift

It doesn’t have to be something big, but the fact that you put in the effort to make sure they get a surprise will definitely make them know that they are loved and missed.

This is the same way a husband or wife lets their partner know that while they are at work they miss their spouse by having flowers delivered.  It’s something that lets them know that they are special and that the spouse is thinking about them.

If this gift is something too practical, then it loses some of the magic.  This is supposed to be a “because I love you” not “because you needed a new toaster oven.”

3. Send Them a Photo

People change every day, but one of the great things about modern technology is that we can keep up with appearances even though we may be far away.

Now, the photo’s I’m talking about aren’t driver’s license photos, or some kind of portraits, but every day photos with some degree of intimacy.

What you’re trying to convey is that you love them and that you miss them—and what they are missing and not being able to be a part of.  While the goal is not jealousy, it’s an outpouring of emotion.

Now, these photos can be intimate, they can be special apparel, or they can be goofy—that’s up to you.  The one that’s away should be sending photos of where they are and what they are seeing and the one that’s behind should be sending photos of what the adventurer has left behind.

4. Count Down the Days

Nothing says “I miss you” more than you knowing just how many days there are between now and when you’ll be reunited.  You see it all over Facebook and couples are always counting down to something, so let your loved one know how much you care by knowing how long it is until you’ll be reunited.

You don’t have to obsess about it, but make sure you keep it in any written correspondence.  Make it a little game, a little cryptic, and it will be a great touch.

5. Don’t Talk to them All The Time

Though you may be tempted to always be connected with them, don’t be.  Absence will make the heart grow fonder, but if you’re constantly calling, writing, etc. you will find that eventually they will feel that they’re being smothered and they might start to ignore you or push you away.

This can especially happen in Long Distance Relationships before marriage.

My advice: strike a good balance between letting them know that you care and letting them have space, and they’ll be happy to come back to you and will include you in all the new memories that they have!

Back in May when we visited the Creation Museum, we picked up at their bookstore a book on teaching children how to handle money.  As we read through it, we were told that we should use multiple jars to keep track of what we needed to give, spend and save.

So we did that.

But it was convicting, encouraging and it caused us to think more about what we give and why.

Why Do I Have To Give?

It’s taken some time for my kids to wrap their heads around why, when they earn a dollar, they don’t get the whole dollar.  Though they’ve enjoyed giving my money in church, this is the first time that they’ve connected the work that they have done with the money that they’ve made with giving.

Well, almost.

I’m not sure that they get it totally, but they are really wanting this light saber that they saw at the store, and it’s teaching them patience (I think?) that they have to wait until they’ve earned the money.

A Lesson for the Parents

I’m one who gives regularly to church, and have done so for most of my life.  The only times that I haven’t done it regularly was when I lost my job last fall and received a severance package—but I did make it up—and just this past May when I lost my job—which I just made up this Sunday.

I’ve tried to keep in focus the idea that God wanted the first fruits, and He wanted them willingly.  He wanted it before it was spent, before it got something else attached to it.  It was for God.

God Deserves Our Best

I think that all too often the position that God gets is the leftovers.  While I’m fully behind the concept that family should come before church or social obligations, sometimes we stuff a lot into “family” and leave nothing for God’s work.

It’s true that our family is our primary mission field, and we’ll be accountable for the way that we bring them up.  But if we’re not modeling service to the church—if we have time for every sporting activity, family vacation, and music lessons we can think of but we don’t have time to teach a Sunday School class, show up for a church workday, or show up to a prayer meeting/Bible study, what are we teaching our kids about priorities.

It reminds me of a story I read on a friend’s blog recently.  There was a single, young mom that needed some shoes for her baby boy.  After looking around for someone to donate something second hand, her husband said “[W]hy are you looking for old stuff?  Just buy her something new,” and that reminded her that God wants our best.

Sometimes I think that we’re willing to give God the cast-offs of our things and our time, but if we truly want to be people of God, He should be getting “firsts”.

In the above cartoon, Thor gets into trouble because of deception.  The lesson to be learned is that you should be honest with those you deal with.  Honesty is kindness because it’s telling the person that you respect them enough to deal truthfully with them.

The amazing thing about a lie is that you usually have to tell more to keep the first one going, and they eventually are found out—if not now, sometime in the future.

Best to tell the truth!

Mike Bright sent me an e-mail the other day, telling me about a great  site that he runs that I’d thought I’d share with you:

I run a website called ‘Help From Home‘ which provides information on easy, no commitment volunteering opportunities that can all be performed from the comfort of a person’s home. Almost all of the 450 plus actions listed on the site will cost nothing or very little to complete and take no more than 30 minutes to accomplish. Some can even be performed in under 10 seconds without getting out of your favourite chair or pyjamas!

I run it on a purely altruistic basis and what I’m attempting to do is to encourage people to see that volunteering for worthy causes can actually be conducted from within their own house, rather than the more traditional approach of joining a group of people at a certain place and a certain time to participate in actions that benefit others.

Most of us spend a lot of time in our own home. and if people were able to donate between 10 to 30 minutes of this home time to such endeavours on a one-off, daily, weekly or monthly basis, just think how much of an impact collectively it could potentially make into the goals and aims of initiatives that are attempting to create ta better world for us to live in.

In closing then, I believe the opportunities listed on the website really can spread kindness and if you do visit the website, I’m hoping you’ll be able to see what good there is that can be done ….. dressed just in your pyjamas!

Regards

Mike Bright

It looks like a great idea, and it’s something worth checking out!

I’m not sure whether it’s the novelty, whether it’s the sense of belonging, or whether it’s part of an identity, but I like having things shirts that are recognize me as part of a group.

I’ve even toyed with the idea, multiple times, of having some kind of custom tshirt or polo shirt made for people that write on my blogs!

I think that showing creativity through a shirt with a logo helps people to identify with each other, it helps to build team unity, and it’s a public statement of who you are and what group you belong to.

That’s why I believe that you can actually show kindness with tshirts!

How?

Take the shirts that were out last year that read “I’m proud of my husband!”  Instead of degrading someone by saying something negative (“I’m with stupid”), this wife was actually making a positive statement about her husband.  And who can forget the impact that all the “World’s Greatest Grandpa” and other related items that are for sale to show how much you value your grandchildren?

So, if you haven’t yet, and want a great idea to speak volumes of your love to someone else, find a design or design yourself, a tshirt that will say that you care for someone else.  It’ll be something that will really brighten up their day.

I’m very excited to announce our first giveaway over at Is This Modest: The Blush Undershirt Giveaway!

This giveaway is sponsored by Blush Topless Undershirts, and they are a unique brand of clothing that is designed to be worn under clothing to help make the more modest!

They’re a pretty unique article of clothing, and I encourage you to go on over and enter the contest.  If we can get 150 entries, then the people at Blush will throw in two winners instead of one.

So why are you still here—go over to the Blush Undershirt Giveaway and sign up!

Image via Wikipedia

When I was young, my parents had a peninsula on their counter that had three counter stools that  stood in front of it.  Many of the days when we were home my mom would feed us lunch at these stools—and I still have fond memories of Flintstone vitamins and chicken noodle soup.

Those stools allowed us to watch my mom make lunch, and  brought us eye-level with her as we talked about what was going on that day.

Of course, some of my siblings don’t have such fond memories of their experience with a bar stool.  One of my brothers ended up tipping backwards and getting hurt—but that’s another story.

There are things in our life—the simple, mundane things that mean so little to us—that will make a lasting impression in the people that we share our lives with.  There will be stories and thoughts that will stick with our loved ones and our children far longer than we may ever believe is possible.

When I look back at my childhood, it’s not the big things, but the little things.  Like the time my mom had a fire drill and took us outside in the snow for a few seconds to tell us what to do if something really were to happen.  Or the time that we slid wood logs down the staircase into the basement after chopping them up because we had a wood stove.

There things and memories that I have that my brothers do not have, and as I watch my son and think about the fact that we will be moving into a new house, there are memories that he will have of this current one that his brother and sister will never have.  It’s weird, fascinating and strange all at the same time.

You can already see him looking around and pondering through what is currently familiar and we’re trying our best to encourage him that God has something better planned for us, not worse.  Change is something that is positive—because change lets us become more like God!

When we were looking at houses, there was one house that had a peninsula (it was also orange) and when I saw it I couldn’t help but think back to home, wondering if I could pick up a few discount bar stools or something to recreate the memories of years gone by.

What is it in your life that holds these kinds of memories for you?

Image via Wikipedia

I grew up in a home with two bathrooms.  There was “dad’s” bathroom and there was everyone else’s bathroom.  And there was only one tub.  Of course, dad’s bathroom was rarely just his, it just had that name, but I digress.

In both places that I’ve lived since I’ve been married we’ve had only one bathroom—and it is an exercise in kindness for five people to share one bathroom.  Kindness in taking turns, in not flushing the toilet when someone’s in the shower, etc.

In the new house that we’ve put an offer on, there are two bathrooms—and this dad might get to share a bathroom with his wife!

What kind of bathroom situation do you find yourself in?

Are you think kind of person that has a one of those clawfoot tubs where you can lose yourself in the bubbles—”Calgon take me away!”  My mother-in-law has one of these in her upstairs tub.  Though they aren’t very practical when it comes to washing children, they are neat when it comes to getting your body completely submersed in water.  The shallower tubs just end up getting part of you cold!

Or are you the kind of person has put in one of those fancy whirlpool bathtubs so that you can get a relaxing massage while you’re in the tub?  When my wife and I want to get a romantic getaway, finding a whirlpool tub is something that’s high on our list.  Even when we were looking at different houses, a whirlpool tub would make the bathroom more attractive.  There’s something about the massaging power of the jets that helps to relax tightened muscles!

Perhaps you just have one of those highly utilitarian discount walk-in bathtubs that are extremely functional.  I mean, if you can’t get in, get clean and get out, how functional is that bathroom?  And cleaning kids means that you’re down on your hands and knees in order to get them all clean.  Sometimes I wonder if I’ll miss having to clean the kids– but I only think these thoughts right before I get all wet as they splash each other.  Then I’m happy thinking that they will soon be able to take care of themselves.

Whichever the case, the important thing is that they keep you clean and provide you comfort.  Tubs are a gateway to relaxing and renewal—both physically and mentally.

So take some time in your tub, turn off the light, get a few candles and relax.

It’s easy to show kindness to someone you like—and even someone you love—but how often have you showed kindness to an absolute stranger?

They pass you every day.  They’re walking along the street with you, into the parking garage with you, and they’re standing behind you in the check out line.  Do you notice them, or are they in your way.

Here’s a few simple ways to show kindness to a stranger, and brighten their day:

• When you walk past someone walking alone, tell them “Good morning!” or wish them a good day.  Don’t want to say something?  Make sure to smile and make eye contact.
• Hold the door open for someone behind you—even if you have to wait a few extra seconds.  They’ll be glad you did.
• Talk to someone you work with that you’ve never talked with before.  Chances are you’ll have more in common than you thought—I mean, you do work together, after all.
• If you see that someone behind you has fewer things to buy, let them go first.
• See a mom with a small kid that may not be behaving, you might try peek-a-boo.
• If you see someone drop something, and you’re near it, pick it up and hand it to them before they get to it.
• Send someone a card or write something on a plain piece of paper to let someone know that you are thinking of them.

These are just some ideas—there are many more—the point is that you need to be thinking ahead of time what you’ll do, and looking for opportunities.  Once you’re looking, there will be many that will turn up.

I’m not writing this to make myself look good, but because I’m feeling a new confidence in doing the positive, whether it’s for friends, family, or acquaintences who would be encouraged by knowing they are being thought of and are important to me.

I found the quote below in Reader’s Digest and it has many implications for how we treat the people in our lives.  Too many times we think there is a “window of opportunity” for certain actions, when, in fact, doing the right, or positive, thing has no statute of limitations.

Did your new neighbors move in two months ago and you haven’t met them yet?  Bake some brownies and take them over as soon as you can.

Has it been more than three weeks since an acquaintance’s funeral and you think it’s too late to send a sympathy card to the family?  Send it anyway.  There is no time limit on comforting someone who is grieving.

Did you just find out that guy you see regularly and chat with casually on the golf course had surgery a month ago?  It’s not too late to send a get well card.

Did a niece’s award at school go unnoted?  Send an “I’m proud of you” card to her today.

Take a few minutes to think about what events in the lives of those around you you want to commemorate but thought it was too late – then act on them today.  Everyone likes to know they are are important to someone else.

When in doubt, do the positive. Can’t decide whether you should get all dressed up and go to that party? Don’t know if you should “intrude” on a new neighbor with a homemade welcome cake? Worried that an old lady would find you rude for offering to help her with her grocery bags? Do the positive! Go to the party, bake the cake, help the old lady. A life of doing is better than one of regretting what you didn’t dare to do.