Weekend Kindness
Reaching Others Through Kindness

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My’s Space lists Ten Ways to Marry the Wrong Person, and one of them is a test about kindness.

 

#2. You pick the wrong person because you focus more on chemistry than on character.

Chemistry ignites the fire, but good character keeps it burning. Beware of the “I’m in love” syndrome. “I’m in love” often means, “I’m in lust.” Attraction is there, but have you carefully checked out this person’s character?

Here are four character traits to definitely check for:

Humility: Does this person believe that “doing the right thing” is more important than personal comfort?

Kindness: Does this person enjoy giving pleasure to other people? How does s/he treat people s/he doesn’t have to be nice to? Does s/he do volunteer work? Give charity?

Responsibility: Can I depend on this person to do what s/he says s/he’s going to do?

Happiness: Does this person like himself? Does s/he enjoy life? Is s/he emotionally stable?

Ask yourself: Do I want to be more like this person? Do I want to have a child with this person? Would I like my child to turn out like him or her?

This is a good test.  We all need to make sure that the one that we want to spend our life with is someone that lives a life of kindness and doesn’t just demonstrate kindness to us because they feel in love with us.  Character lasts a whole lot longer than emotion.

I’m reposting a story I found on Guys On Life which was originally written as fiction by Elizabeth Silance Ballard (now Elizabeth Ungar).  Although it is fiction, it is a good illustration of what kindness can do for the object of said kindness:

As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children an untruth. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same. However, that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.

Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he did not play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. In addition, Teddy could be unpleasant.

It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X’s and then putting a big “F” at the top of his papers.

At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child’s past records and she put Teddy’s off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise.

(more…

As humans we are constantly changing– it’s the nature of who we are.  We are more than what we eat, however.  We are the sum of what we do, and every action can effect the next one.

Although I disagree with Cat’s conclusion in her post about how we learn (that we should not strive for perfection), I can appreciate her thought process:

Then let us learn them. Let us make our weaknesses and strengths we learn from them count for something. To master our lessons, to learn how to give and receive true love, through acts of kindness, which Honor Him, because in doing so, we honor ourselves. It doesn..t matter where you..ve been. You are not the person you were yesterday and you aren..t the person you will be tomorrow. You are more than your hurts, needs, weaknesses, fears, and worries. Every day is a new beginning, every day we get to say ..Ohhhhhhh…I GET it! Every day we get to put a new foot forward.., It..s a new day, child!! Miracles are waiting.

It’s true that we can either wallow in what happened yesterday or work toward what we can do to be our best today.  We need to make today count and then have a platform from which we can make tomorrow even better!

One of the great things about being kind is that you can show kindness to anyone and who you choose to show kindness to shows something about you too.  The ones that may need your kindness might be those that you’d least like to be kind to; however, they’re also the ones that your kindness will have its greatest impact.

Lisa Brady…MIGHTY!!! asks these questions of herself in a post titled “Good Morning, Ephesus!”

So, I guess I have to ask myself the question–it begs to be asked, after all: “Hey, Lisa, who do you love? What walls of division have you built in your heart to keep certain people out? Do you feel differently about some people that worship ME in your church than you do about others? Do you think people from other churches who sing different styles than you or dance funny or shout louder or dress more conservatively than you are uncool? Do you treat people all the same on the outside, but in your heart you categorize those who’ve made what you would call big mistakes with their lives?” Ouch.

Now there are things that are worth standing on and division because of the cause of Christ is obedience, but if we’re dividing on petty things, how does that show kindness in our hearts?

On September 11th, I paused for a few minutes on my couch to listen to some of the tributes given during the CBS Early Show. Some time was given to promoting a new website MyGoodDeed.org.

Today, I finally looked it up. At first, I thought it was going to be all about celebrities and politicians getting a good name out there for themselves…there are quite a few big names in the testimony section. But it’s a nice idea, I hope it catches on.

Something caught my eye, a project of collecting personal hygiene products for underprivileged children, and it brought back some great memories. I used to be the secretary for a non-profit child health care group, and each year at Thanksgiving we’d decorate large boxes with Christmas wrap and drop them off at all the local churches. On the side of the box, we’d list needed items such as dental supplies, SOAP, shampoo, socks, combs, etc. These boxes would sit in the church foyers and the church members would have three weeks to fill them. Then our group would all gather together with donated gift bags (the community stores often donated our wrapping supplies and other fillers for the bags) and fill them up. We’d have things geared for three different age groups: preschool, elementary, and jr. high/high school.

It was a blast, kind of like playing “elf”. Our local SRS office made sure that the gifts went where needed.

Often, all it takes is one family willing to go the extra mile. Why should we leave these types of things to the local child health care board? One family could host a party at church for any interested and in no time they could have a dozen boxes dressed out and ready to drop off around town. In fact, I like this idea so much, I’m already musing the possibilities.

You could focus your donations on:

• the local crisis pregnancy center–they’re always in need of baby items and maternity clothes
• the domestic violence shelter–think of the women and children whose Christmases will be so vastly different. Perhaps a stuffed bear might make bedtime a little easier. Maybe a gift basket of frivolous items for the hurting wife?
• do you have a homeless shelter in your community? Contact them and see if your church can collect canned goods or other donations for their Christmas banquet.
• perhaps the ministerial alliance can come up with a list of local children according to their ages/genders and what specific needs/wants they might have.

As you can see, this idea has possibilities. It would be a great 4H project, or community service project for an older homeschooled child.

I’m excited, how about you?

Sometimes we can show kindness to others through providing them with something that they could not get on their own.  There are people all around us that are hurting or are weighed down by things that they cannot control.  In these cases, if you can step into that gap and minister to that person, it is a tremendous act of kindness that will see great rewards!

In the case of Katie, a friend stepped in at a tough time and provided a trip to Malta to give her a clear perspective:

Many years ago, I felt as though my life had been shipwrecked. I was a single mom, I’d lost my job, and I’d lost hope that God would ever use me for his kingdom-building purposes. Due to the kindness of a friend, around that time I was able to travel to Malta, the tiny island below the boot of Italy where the apostle Paul was shipwrecked on his way to Rome. I told my pastor I wanted to get away by myself and get some answers by studying Paul’s life. My pastor gave me a hug, said a great prayer for me, and sent me with his blessings.

Part of what Katie decided was that she would share God’s kindness to others.  How about you?

What we say has a huge impact on those around us.  We can easily use words to tear people down or to build them up.  We can do these things in the people’s presence or in their absence.

The hardest time to speak kind words is when we have a lot on our mind, when we are stressed, or when we have trouble sorting through our thoughts and feelings.

Hilary, on her myspace blog, realizes this:

Hiding my true feelings, like resentment or unforgiveness, keeps me in bondage to them. … If I carry around this kind of “emotional baggage” it will poison my day. Sometimes I have to confront things to make them better and trust me I hate doing this. But when I do confront these things I should use wisdom. While it is good to talk about things I don’t want to dump all my thoughts and emotions on every person who comes along. I need to use the powerful tool of speech to offer words of kindness and blessing to my parents, to my friends, to coworkers, and even to strangers I meet throughout the day.
“Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.” - Rudyard Kipling

It’s very true that we can do a lot with speech– good and bad.  If we use our speech, flavored with kindness (not flattery!), we would see some great things happen!