Weekend Kindness
Reaching Others Through Kindness

Thank you for visiting Weekend Kindness-- the blog that helps you build positive relationships! If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed so that you don't miss a single post from one of our great authors!

Today I would like to share portions of a paper my daughter wrote last year concerning finding a spouse. I hope you enjoy it and are encouraged.~~

Finding a spouse is a very important topic. Most youth don’t realize the importance of this topic or understand the steps that need to be taken to find a spouse. My mom has taught me a lot on this issue.

My desire is to follow the Lord and trust in his plan. At this point in my life, I honestly don’t know if I want to get married. If the Lord has someone for me to marry then I will follow him in that. If I get married these are the steps I will take.

First of all, I will court and not date. If someone asks me to go on a date with them I will simply say that I do not date. If they are interested they must speak to my father.

Secondly, before I enter into a courtship I will pray with my parents about it and ask for their guidance. I know this sounds like I am saying this because that’s how it is supposed to work. That is not the case; this is how I want it to be.

Thirdly, after accepting, if that is what God is leading us in, we would talk about how the house is to be run and what it is that we will believe as a family. We would discuss things such as financial handling, schooling, jobs, where the wife should be during the day, what God says concerning having children, and so on. Beliefs are something that must be taken seriously or your relationship will fall apart.

Fourth, if God is still leading in the direction of marriage there should be serious prayer.

Let me share my standards. The person must be a Christian. They must be respectful and honest. They must stay pure until marriage. They must love me and not look to any other. Their apparel is also important, the must dress modestly. This is to avoid attracting others’ attention just so they will want to know them because they are cute or handsome. In Matthew 5 it says if you look at someone with lust you commit adultery. They must have a relationship and be walking with the Lord. They can’t just say they are a Christian. They must want to get closer to the Lord.

One thing we must remember us that our spouse isn’t going to be perfect. If you wait for a perfect person you will be waiting your entire life. You will always be single. For the Bible says that all have sinned.

Like I said before, I don’t know if I will ever marry, I probably will. It is up to the Lord and if he wants me to marry I will follow him. If he tells me to stay single I will. It is up to the Lord and I will be content with his will for my life.

At 13 years old, I went through a True Love Waits class and wore a purity ring. I decided to save my first kiss until marriage. I was made fun of many times for that decision. My friends would ask me, “But what if you marry a guy and he turns out to be a bad kisser?” I’ve also heard people say that you don’t buy a car without test-driving it first, so why would you get married without a little test-run? “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.” Matthew 5:8, 10-12. Because of my stand for purity, I was able to witness to the people I went to school with and I will be rewarded for my perseverance. G. K. Chesterton was a great Christian who said, “Jesus promised his disciples three things: that they would be completely fearless, absurdly happy, and in constant trouble.”
(more…

The quest for purity is making a comeback in America. Since 1993, nearly 2.5 million “True Love Waits” pledge cards have been signed by young men and young women who have made a commitment to remain pure and save sex for marriage. The “True Love Waits” commitment reads:

Believing that true love waits, I make a commitment to God, myself, my family, my friends, my future mate, and my future children to a lifetime of purity including sexual abstinence from this day until the day I enter a biblical marriage relationship.

Passion and purity may seem mutually exclusive. They are not. It is possible to feel passionately toward someone without following through physically. No one said it was easy, but it is possible.

(more…

I didn’t even see it coming.Daniel and I had met in early April on the internet. Never thought we’d develop more than a friendship, but really enjoyed talking to each other about our faith and theological matters. We met in person on April 24, 2004 and hit it off right away. The close, Christ-centered friendship we’d enjoyed soon turned into a romance.I was just finishing a year sabbatical from dating, so Daniel and I had to wait until June 1 to truly become boyfriend and girlfriend. On the last three days of my sabbatical, we fasted and prayed, asking God for direction about each other. We wanted to be sure He meant the two of us to be together before we ever started dating. On June 1, we broke our fast at Old Chicago and he asked me to be his girlfriend. I accepted. On the first of every month, we celebrate by having lunch or dinner at Old Chicago.A few weeks later, Daniel got some free passes to Six Flags, so he treated our family to a day out. I knew that part of his plan was to pull my dad aside and ask for my hand in marriage. (Yeah, we moved fast. But God was so definitely in it!) It wasn’t going to be hard to get alone with my dad, as they’re the only two people in my family who like roller coasters.My mom and brother joined me in line for the Spider, while my dad and boyfriend headed to the Sidewinder. They were only gone for a few minutes when they’d returned, lamenting the fact that the ride was closed. Needless to say, I was disappointed.
(more…

What was your engagement story?  Here’s our chance to find out how we all got engaged.

Announcing the Weekend Kindness “What’s Your Story?” meme. 

Here’s how it works:

• Copy the link to this image (hot - linking is fine by me!)
• Write your story of how you got engaged.
• Select 3 bloggers that are married or have gotten engaged and let them know that you want to know their story.
• Make sure you link back to this How Did You Get Engaged post.

Here’s some handy code:

As newlyweds, Jeff and I were given lots of advice and a stack of books we should read to get us off on the right track in our marriage. One such golden rule was this, “You can be right and lonely or wrong and happy.” This means that you can argue your point down to the ground and drive away your spouse or you can choose to let the disagreement drop for the sake of loving unity. We didn’t have to wait until our wedding day to prove this maxim was correct.

About two months before our wedding in July of 2006, we went out to dinner at Cracker Barrel. The waitress was not serving us properly. We got into an argument about it near the end of the meal, though I don’t remember the details.  I was arguing from my emotions; he was arguing from his intellect. Then Jeff uttered the famous last words, “Am I right?” I stood up and walked out of the dining room to the cashiers. He was right and lonely!

We laugh about that argument now and use it to counsel others. Repeatedly, we’ve seen other couples who are brought almost to separation over seemingly small arguments. Usually, underneath, there are huge issues of bitterness, the root of divorce. You know how the seeds of bitterness are sown? They are nourished through always having to be right…even down to the dirty socks he always tosses on the floor. We’ve learned to put aside the pettiness and enjoy each other’s company instead.