Weekend Kindness
Reaching Others Through Kindness

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The Trip

Our summer plans this year include a major move!  We are preparing to embark on a 4700 mile move. Yes, 4700 miles! We are also driving (except for three days on a ferry). I often hear people with only a few children talk about the stress of traveling. They are usually much shorter distances too! I have been pitied and then asked how we keep our sanity on such trips. I will admit that we have not made a trip quite this long before, our longest was a year ago when we traveled 3300 miles (all by car). We did have a few bumps along the way too. Take a moment to read about our $400 Bee?

Here are a few statistics for our upcoming move:

• 4700 miles
• two vehicles driven
• eight children (plus being pregnant)
• two dogs, kennels, bed, and other supplies
• 1 month for travel
• luggage and necessities for living out of suitcases for about 3 months (plus what is needed for camp)
• 2 coolers

Sounds like fun right????? If you answered that with a resounding “NO!” let me tell you that you would already be doomed to have a not so fun trip! I thought that I would share some of our secrets for having a great trip even while driving 2 vehicles with a large family, 2 dogs, hundreds of pounds of luggage, months of living out of suitcases, and so many miles ahead of us.

• Sounds like fun right?? Your answer should be, “We cannot wait for this grand adventure!” If you look at it positively then things are more likely to go well for you. Even things like a $400 bee can be seen as an adventure. Look for the positive because getting angry, frazzled, and upset NEVER makes the miles any shorter and more often than not makes them seem longer.
• Plan some fun stops along the way. Give the children something to look forward to. Make it a mini vacation. You have to stop so why not stop somewhere fun?
• Take advantage of hotel pools. The children have been cooped up all day long let them have a way to exert some energy. It doesn’t take much, even a half an hour will do.
• Let the children stay up late and watch television and snack in bed. Yes, they may not want to wake up in the morning but they will often go back to sleep once you hit the road.
• Pack your coolers well. Make sure you have plenty of healthy snacks, as non-messy as possible, on hand. This keeps you from having to make more stops, spend more money, and keeps the little ones happy and distracted for a while.
• Take along some stories on CD. Long stories. One trip we listened to Focus on the Family’s theater version of the Chronicles of Narnia. On another trip we listened to some G.H. Henty stories on CD. All of the children were engrossed in them and often complained when we had to stop for gas. They didn’t want to stop, they wanted to hear more of the story!
• Enjoy your time in the hotel. Free breakfast and no beds to make. You can even leave the towels on the floor! It is like having a maid.
• Living out of suitcases isn’t so bad either. You have much less laundry to manage than you would if you had your entire wardrobes. Sure the laundromat isn’t all that fun but you get every load of laundry done at the same time!
• Get an early start (it doesn’t have to be super early), the day doesn’t seem as long if you arrive at your destination while it is still daylight and you have a few hours to move and let the littles wiggle a bit. It seems much longer and more tiring if you arrive in the dark only to go to bed and start over again in the morning.
• Take pillows, little blankets, and a favorite doll, toy, or book. Limit it to only one (you usually have more than enough stuff to keep track of)! Yes, it takes up more room but if your children are comfortable they will endure the long hours better.
• For us, smaller suitcases with handles and wheels for each child (or two littles per suitcase) works better than larger suitcases with several children sharing. They are responsible for their own things and are responsible for moving it to and from the van.
• Since we must take both of our vehicles when we move, walkie-talkies are great! Hubby and I can contact each other easily when one of us needs to make a pit stop or just chat about the scenery along the way.
• Keep in mind that children are children and not adults. They do not always endure hours in the car the way an adult does. Be prepared to have to make occasional stops to let the one year old out of the car seat to run. Treat them with a happy and loving tone, this always works better than getting angry with them. They may still cry and be upset but you are the adult and you can set a cheerful tone.
• MOST IMPORTANTLY- bathe your trip in prayer!!!

Being a stay at home mother, wife, and homeschooler can be a challenging position. Those on the outside tend to make comments and give nasty looks. I have experienced this many times. We are often made to feel as if we are wasting our lives and not making anything of ourselves. To be honest there are times at home when I will feel unappreciated. Thankfully, these times are rare!Often times in my household, it is usually because I am having a bad day and am reading to much into the actions and words of my family than is really there. I realize this is what I have caused myself to feel. I have let the voice of the world in rather than dwelling on the call and command of God. I found this quote from Martin Luther and think it is one of great encouragement. I hope it is to you as well.

What you do in your house is worth as much as if you did it up in heaven for our Lord God. We should accustom ourselves to think of our position and work as sacred and well-pleasing to God, not on account of the position and work, but on account of the word and faith from which the obedience and the work flow. —Martin Luther

It was definitely not expected.

I had been following Ashley, a 20 year old SAHM from PA, for at least a month.  Her blog “Help Meet In Training” discussed her life, her Christianity and her desire to be a good helpmeet to her husband.

And then the unthinkable happened.  She announced on April 20th that she was shutting down her blog.  Why?  Marital infidelity.

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What’s amazing is that even the smallest thing that you don’t plan can make the biggest difference in a person’s life.  That’s what this month is about– making a difference.

To lead this off, check out a portion of this story called Best Friends

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class who was walking home from school.  His name was Kyle.  It looked like he was carrying all of his books.  I thought to myself, “Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd.”

I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.  As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him.  They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt.  His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him.  He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes.  My heart went out to him.  So, I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye.  As I handed him his glasses, I said,” Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives.”  He looked at me and said, “Hey thanks!”.  There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.

I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to a private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play football on Saturday with me and my friends. He said yes. We hung all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him. And my friends thought the same of him.

Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, “[Dang] boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!” He just laughed and handed me half the books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends.

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Words of love are great, but showing your heart says it best.

There’s much to be said for a little consideration and unselfishness. Remember how passionate we all were about every little detail concerning each other in the early days of engagement and newlywed life? We all prefer being seen over being invisible, and being cherished over being taken for granted.

If rescuing the beauty is tantamount to winning the war, then let me remind you that it’s the battles which wage a successful campaign, one bleeding heart at a time!

A few simple ideas:

• Save the last piece of dessert for him
• Warm the car up for her on a cold winter morning, scrape the frost off the windows, etc
• Bring him or her a cold/hot drink when you know it would be appreciated, without asking first
• Remember birthdays and anniversaries
• Bring home his favorite magazine
• Help carry in the groceries
• Help clear off the supper table
• Rinse out the tub after your showers and baths, and the sink after shaving
• Say please and thank-you
• Give an unsolicited shoulder rub
• Grab your wife and waltz her around the house
• Hang out in the kitchen with her
• Hang out in the garage or shop with him

When my husband helps me in the kitchen, I feel so cherished! It says to me: “I’d rather be with you than snoozing in the recliner or surfing the net, etc.” Similarly, when I’m not afraid to dig in and get dirty helping my man with his truck projects, or working cattle, he’s practically giddy. You’d think I was his girlfriend all over again!

When we take a special and unselfish interest in our spouses’ lives it speaks volumes. It’s too easy after several years of marriage and two or three kids to relax and grow almost numb to your partner’s passions and desires. Examine your heart and motives. Could you care less about their interests? If so, chances are good that you’re too immersed in your own.

And don’t forget the main things most men and women want are pretty simple. A little extra love can go a long way. What speaks love to you?

The greatest relationship that we can ever have is that which was offered to us by God through His Son– the living Word– as revealed in the written Word.  And yet it’s hard to keep up this relationship, not because of the availability of God, but because of the things that we let get in the way of this relationship.

I was reminded, reading Anna’s post on Daily Devotions, just how important it is to get into a routine, not just because I want to do it in a wrote way, but because I need my relationship with Him to be more important than any other relationship in my life:

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At 13 years old, I went through a True Love Waits class and wore a purity ring. I decided to save my first kiss until marriage. I was made fun of many times for that decision. My friends would ask me, “But what if you marry a guy and he turns out to be a bad kisser?” I’ve also heard people say that you don’t buy a car without test-driving it first, so why would you get married without a little test-run? “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.” Matthew 5:8, 10-12. Because of my stand for purity, I was able to witness to the people I went to school with and I will be rewarded for my perseverance. G. K. Chesterton was a great Christian who said, “Jesus promised his disciples three things: that they would be completely fearless, absurdly happy, and in constant trouble.”
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