Part of the problem today with marriage is that it is being devalued by a umber of things, not the least of which is the idea that a couple can get together without being married and have all the ?benefits? of marriage.

While purity is something that should be pursued by both people in a relationship, traditionally the woman has held control over a relationship, insisting on a commitment before providing the companionship.

Children

Let?s face it, women have children, and the best environment for children is with a committed father and mother in the family.? Biology states that women have children, and when you?re in a non-committed relationship, you?re possibly denying your child their father.

Hard to Get

That is why it?s not just a tactic, it?s important for women to play hard to get.? A guy shouldn?t get your emotional or physical love until he?s given you a commitment:

As single women, we need to stop treating men as if they are our husbands.? We are created with a nature that longs to serve and please a man, but when we do this, we take away his desire for a wife.? ? [I]f women are giving men companionship outside of marriage, he will never hunger for female companionship inside of marriage.? Women have the ability to create a void in a man?s life so he will become self-motivated to fill it with the presence of a wife.

? Emotional Purity: An Affair of the Heart

Too often I?ve seen women who long for marriage give companionship?kindness?to a man who they hope will propose only to realize that they are doing effect exactly the opposite.? They are taking away his incentive to commit.

Saving For Tomorrow

It?s hard to wait?we?re programmed and told over and over that we can have what we want when we want it.? The problem is that, whether it?s a car or a husband/wife, seldom is the thing that is right in front of you he best that you can do.? When it comes to debt, yes you can ?have it now?, but you?ll pay double.? Same goes for a marriage or relationship?sure you can have a companion right now, but you may pay much more emotionally and physically if the relationship dissolves because you took Mr. Right Now over Mr. Right.

Part of it is the clean look?the pure white dress looks clean, bright and brilliant.

Part of it is the symbolism?the purity that white symbolizes.  Knowing that the one to who you are going to pledge your life to has waited for you.

Part of it is the way that white Wedding Dresses accentuate the woman?s form and figure.  And the way that a formal dress fits a woman?and knowing that she?s your woman?well, it?s enough to bring joy to any man?s heart.

It?s true what they say.  When the bride is coming down the aisle, turn around and look at the husband-to-be.  The look on his face, the look at his bride, is amazing.

Though Bridal Dresses are traditionally white to reflect purity (specifically sexual purity), it is not the only color that brides are wearing, and it no longer carries the meaning that it did at one time.

What?s neat  is that, regardless who is getting married, it is easy to get caught up in the emotion of the moment.  The fancy clothes.  The Bridesmaid Dresses that all brides promise will be re-wearable even though it is never true.  The cute flower girl and ring bearer that smile so big and do things so memorable.

The promises made, the prayers said, the family and friends?all of these join generations of people together and even though it?s called ?her day? it?s the family?s day.  It?s a time of joy and rejoicing.  A time that will be remembered for generations.

We need to remember to keep our lives pure both before and after marriage.  Pure before in both emotional and physical area.  Pure afterward in our commitment to our spouse.  Pure as that white wedding dress.

Creative Dating

1. Let’s Make a Deal: Hide different date ideas behind doors, give them a choice of the doors, and then ask if they want to trade.
2. Who Wants to Be a Millionaire: Have a set of different questions, and the more questions they get right the more fancy the date.
3. Deal or No Deal:  Like the Let’s Make a deal, place different dates in different boxes, have them choose one, show the different things they could win, and then be willing to trade them something in the middle after each pick.
4. Photo Fun:  Find a photo booth and tell a story with the frames.
5. Food on the Go:  Plot with some friends to have food in a strange locale– anyone say McDonalds served on a beach?
6. Celebrate Summer in Winter: Get a bucket of sand in the winter and turn up the thermostat,
7. Christmas in July:  Bundle up in parkas in an air conditioned room in the summer.
8. Game Board Dining:  Create a game board with all the local restaurants that you like, and roll dice to figure out where you’ll be eating.
9. You Look Like What You’ll Eat:  Spend some time dressing in the ethnicity of the food you will be eating– I can just see the sombreros and ponchos now.
10. The Best ????? In Town:  Having trouble agreeing on a place to eat, decide that you will try out different places every time, and that you’ll be rating them as if you were a critic.

Cheap Dates

1. Imaginary Shopping Spree:  Go to a store or mall with an imaginary $1000 to spend– act like you have the money, get sales associates to help you, and/or make a list of things that you would buy with the money.
2. The Best Thing You Can Buy:  Go to the mall with only a small amount of money (say $20) and have a game of trying to find something that your date will like for that money– have it become a competition to see who can do better than the other.
3. One Red Paperclip:  Taking off on the idea of the man that traded a paperclip to a house, go to the mall or some place where there are lots of people and only take with you something trivial.  See if you can trade it up, and what you can get for it.  Make it a competition to see which of you can get the biggest thing.
4. Card Looking:  Go into your local drug store or Hallmark store and search for the perfect card.  Then, swap cards with each other– Don’t buy them!  Don’t sign them!  Just swap them.
5. Find Seashells:  Have a sea shore near by?  Take your date to the shore and look for sea shells or nice rocks.  Bring a bag lunch.  Plan to use the rocks– paint them, mount them on magnents, etc., to remember it.
6. Snowfriend: During the winter (if you have snow) sneak over to a friend’s house when they’re not home and make a snowman that looks like them (plan before to sneak some of their clothes!).
7. Guess the Occupation:  Take people watching to a new level.  Try to guess what the person that you see does for a living, or even give them names!
8. Coloring Books:  When you were a child you didn’t stay in the lines, you didn’t match the right colors, but now you really know how to color.  So, spend some time creating a work of art.
9. Puzzle Time: Have one of those thousand piece puzzles that you’ve never have had a chance to put together?  Time to dig out some hot chocolate and get it done.
10. Tunnel of Love:  Tell your date you’re going to a tunnel of love.  Then take them to a car wash!  You’ll get privacy, a waterfall, and a clean car all at the same time!
11. Rainy Day Golf: Instead of the perfect day, choose to go to miniature golfing on a rainy day– you may get in for free!
12. The Drive In:  Get or borrow a projector, go outside and shine a movie (home movies or any kind of movies will work) right on the side of the garage.  Plan for intermission.
13. Play a game for two:  There are a lot of board games that are for two people (my wife’s really good at Othello), but up the steaks.  Come up with unique penalties for the loser or prizes for the winner.  Use your imagination.
14. A Walk on the Beach: Roll up the pant legs, and plan to get wet and sandy.  Walk down a sandy beach as the sun sets– beautiful.
15. A Poem For You: Take a trip to the local library and search through the stacks for a perfect poem.  Write it down to share after you’ve gone home.

photo by simmbarb

The Picnic

1. The Big Chill: Bundle up and eat out on a frozen lake.  Make sure to bring a lot of warm and toasty goodies.
2. Scavenger Hunt: Hide your picnic items along a trail, or place a basket an blanket at the end of several clues.
3. Out in the Country:  Find a place on the country side, where there are no powerlines, etc., and lay out a blanket to enjoy nature.
4. In the City: Have a picnic right in the busiest park.  Extra points if no one usually picnics there and you bring a picnic blanket.
5. Yogi Bear: You and your date talk like Yogi bear for an entire picnic– did you bring the pick-a-nick baskets, Boo Boo?

Quick Dates

1. 30-Minute Hot Tub: Use your hot tub, borrow a friends, or use your tub.  Just spend some time relaxing.
2. Video War: Go to the nearest arcade and try to beat each other in one game that neither of you have played before.
3. Goose Grease: Find some ducks or geese and bring plenty of bread products.  Oh, and you may want to bring human food too.
4. Together Workout: Get up early or stay up late and do some working out together– you’ll be spending time and you’ll be losing weight.
5. Formal Fast Food:  Dress up to the nines and go out to eat– only do it to a fast food restaurant.  See if you get better service in a tux.  Watch out for the ketchup.
6. Floating Bubbles:  Get some bubbles and go to the top of your roof, and blow some bubbles.  See how far they go, and how well they float.
7. Ride Elevators: Go to a building that has multiple elevators and see who can get to the top floor first.  The loser buys the winner a treat on the way home.
8. 15 Minutes South: See how far you can get in your car, on your bike, or jogging in 15 minutes.  Mark it on your map.  Take different routes for each adventure.
9. Playground Fun: Go to your local playground and see who can swing higher on the swing.
10. Massage: Give each other a neck massage.  One person each date, that way the person can relax without thinking that their turn is next.

photo by npiggy2

Big Time Date$

1. Fancy Transportation: Make getting there more important than where you’re going.  Go in style– hire a limo or a horse drawn carriage.
2. Go on Safari: Go on an African Safari and make sure to get plenty of pictures of Elephants.
3. Go on Broadway:  Get tickets to a Broadway show, make sure to get fancy clothes, and have a dinner that you can’t afford.
4. Catch the Orient Express: Lots of history surrounds this railroad, add some history of your own.
5. State or Country Capitals: Explore a region of the world by visiting all of it’s country, county or state capitals, and make sure to get photos of yourself at the places.
6. Heliodate: Hire a helicopter pilot to cruise around your city.
7. Interstate Lunch:  Have a meal in a different state.  Bonus points if you have to fly to get there and back.
8. Full of Hot Air:  Rent a hot air balloon.
9. Professional Photographer:  Get all dressed up, your best outfits, and go spend a session being photographed together with a highly paid professional photographer.  Have the results framed.
10. Say it with Jewelry:  Go to your favorite jewelry store and pick out a setting that declares your love.

Surprises

1. Ransomed Teddy: Steal an item of sentimental value from your lover and create a not out of magazines.  Make her meet you in order to get it back.
2. A Change in Menu: Before going out to a restaurant, get a copy of the menu and change some of the items or put in special messages.  Make sure you get it switched before time.
3. Breakfast in Bed: We talk about this one, but do we actually do it?  Do it right with flowers, etc.
4. Weekend Surprise: Pack their bags, get someone to watch the kids, and reserve the hotel– and then get out of Dodge.
5. Breakfast Kidnap: Get up earlier than your spouse and take them (forcibly if necessary) out for breakfast pjs and all.  Or have it catered.
6. Terrorist Kidnap: Make sure you clear this with Homeland Security.  Get friends to dress up in black, use squirt guns, and have them escort your date to a place and time that’s been arranged.  Make sure neighbors or coworkers know what’s going on, and that your date knows that it’s in fun.
7. 30 Days of Surprises: Save up your money for this one– make sure they get a surprise a day.  Send it via mail where appropriate.  The surprises could be things of monetary value or even backrubs.
8. Up on the Roof: Get permission to go on top of the roof, and bring a basket of food, music, and dance the night away under the stars.
9. Do -It-Yerself Dinner: If you don’t normally do dinner, then this is definitely for you.  Get some time off, look through the cookbook, and make them meal before she does.
10. Clean-Car Thief: Take the car that they drive and clean and wash it when they’re not looking.
11. Do What’s Not You: Take your date to something that you dread, but you know that they would love.

Dates for Two or More

1. Senior Double Date: Go out with an older couple.  Find out what they would think is a fun date, and try it.
2. Night Croquet: Play croquet at night with flashlights.
3. The Group Drive-In: Get a bunch of friends in a pickup truck and go out to catch a movie together.
4. Dessert Party: The more the merrier– throw a party where the price of admission is some outrageous dessert.  Each dessert must feed at least six, and have a prize for the winner.
5. Bowling in Style: After a formal date, go bowing.  Bowling shoes look great with tuxes.
6. Noah’s Ark Party: Have every couple come dressed as animals that came two by two.
7. The Hearty Party: Bring large volumes of a single food for a huge feast– everyone helps prepare.
8. Couples Card Games: Either boys against girls or matched with your partner.  Make it a regular event.
9. Dutch Double Dating: Go out to eat and you pay for the other couple.  Be careful what you order!
10. Grilling it up:  Find a spot near some water and in nature and grill up some food outdoors.

Creative Gift Buying

1. Flowers: Buying a girl something that will die shortly may not make sense, but it is a winner!
2. Scents: Be careful– he may not want to smell like that guy you just smelled– and pick the one that she wears most often.
3. The File Card:  It would be wise to keep some kind of information on file (sizes, colors, stones, perfumes, places to shop, etc.)
4. Big Game Hunter: On the front, some animals, on the back, a long-needed or wanted item.  Get yourself a you gun or bow and arrow and when they hit it, go get it.
5. Treasure Chest: Put something you know that they will like in a treasure chest, but make them try to guess which key, or what combination, only once a week.

Get the Message

1. Postcard Puzzle:  Send a message to your date, but send it across multiple post cards, and send them out of order, so that they’ll have to wait to get all of them before they get the message.  Write sentences across post cards to add to the fun.
2. Make Your Own Card: She’s got the card stock, you have imagination.  However you can, make her something from the heart.
3. The Love Calendar: Get your own calendar, and write special dates (or why you love her) on different dates.  Wrap it up as a gift, and make sure to remember those dates.  Hide the dates with post-it-notes if you get creative.
4. Hidden notes: Nothing says adventure like hiding notes around the house.  They make heart-shaped post-it-notes specifically for this purpose.
5. At Work Notes: Write a note and send it to your date’s place of employment.  Make sure you take into account who might read it!
6. T.P. Love Notes: Unroll a fresh roll of toilet paper a distance and write a message asking them out.  Roll it back up and reinsert it on the dispenser.
7. The Jigsaw: Get a jigsaw puzzle, spray out the picture with white paint, and write your own message with felt pens (or use card stock).
8. Where You Least Expect it: Drop messages all over the place where they least expect it– in clothing, on the pot roast, etc.
9. Word-Puzzle Love Note: Create a love not using a hidden-word puzzle.  Send it in the mail, etc.
10. Taped Love Note: Ask your date to call you at a certain time and leave a juicy bit of love talk on your answering machine.
11. See You in the Comics: Get the Sunday comics, white out the dialog on a favorite strip (after you’ve copied it, of course) and leave them a message.
12. The Pididdle: Instead of counting in the air, every time you see a car with the headlight out, give your lover a kiss.
13. Nutty Mail:  See if the post office will deliver things like a coconut in the mail, and deliver a note that will drive them nuts.
14. A Card a Day: Send your date a card for 30 days.  On day 30 do something special.
15. You Steam Me Up: When your mate is in the shower, right a love message in the condensation on the mirror.

Communication Creators

1. Know it All:  Take something that they like and become an expert.  Get books from the library (or use the Internet) to find out about something they know, and surprise them with your new knowledge.
2. Oldies But Goodies: Dredge out old tapes or albums, get some good things to drink, and wax nostalgic.
3. Penalty Chess: Tape messages and notes to the bottom of chess pieces, and every time a piece is lost they have to read it.  A punishment for losing a piece could be something both people enjoy– like a long passionate kiss, or “you take the garbage out tonight.”
4. Conversation Cards: Create a communication game by writing down questions that you want to hear your lover talk about on three-by-five cards.
5. Read to Me:  Find a book that both of you would enjoy and read a chapter each evening to your spouse.  If it works for the kids, it should work for your spouse!
6. Sleepytime: Set a weeklong tradition of turning off the television a half hour before bedtime and talking over hot chocolate or caffeine-free tea.
7. Renew Your Vows: Every year you can renew your marriage commitment by reciting your original vows.
8. Remember When: Get out the albums, break out the pictures, and reminisce about how things were when you first met and married.
9. The Tea Party: Purchase a selection of teas, plenty of boiling water, and do a tea tasting.
10. Get out of the house: Make sure that you spend time together, away from the kids– for that will truly help bond you together.

(Ideas taken and adapted from Dating Your Mate with some of my own thrown in for good measure.)

Weekend Kindness is here to help you with the Top 7 Christian Pick Up Lines brought to you by Small Steps to Glory:

1. “I believe one of my ribs belongs to you.”
2. “Hey.. I would work 7 years for your sister.. but I would work 7 more years for you.”
3. “You’re totally depraved but I’d still like to go out with you…”
4. “I’m interested in full time ministry, and not only that… I also play the guitar.”
5. “Have you died before? Because that looks like a resurrection body to me..”
6. “Hi, I’m Calvin. You were meant to choose me.”
7. “The Word says ‘Give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the hungry’; how about dinner?”

Yes, you too can ask a girl out using these tried and true lines.  So what are you waiting for– there’s a girl out there waiting to be the Ruth to your Boaz, that you would be willing to slay two Goliaths for, and who has the same favorite Apostle as you do!

It was this knowledge that kept me from kissing a girl, until the girl before the woman I married, and it proved that guidelines– when taken to heart– are good to help us to do what we know with our heads is right.

Here are some more dating guidelines I found in Lydia Brownback’s Purple Cellar:

1. A godly woman should allow the man to initiate the relationship. This does not mean that she does nothing. She helps! If she thinks there is a good possibility for a relationship, she puts him at east and encourages him as opportunities arise.
2. A godly woman should speak positively and respectfully about her boyfriend in his presence and absence.
3. A godly woman should give honest attention to his interests.
4. A godly woman should recognize the sexual temptations with which a single man will normally struggle and will avoid potentially compromising situations.
5. A godly woman will build up the man with God’s Word and give encouragement to godly leadership. She should allow and seek biblical encouragement from the man she is dating.
6. A godly woman will make “helping” and “respecting” the watchwords of her behavior toward a man.
7. A godly woman will remember that the man is her brother in the Lord. She should not be afraid to end an unhealthy relationship but should seek to do so with charity and grace. 

Holding Hands, Holding Hearts, Phillips (P&R, 2006).

What guidelines did you have, or do you have?

We here at Weekend Kindness want to help!  So, we’ve scoured books on dating and would like to present for your approval the following list of 7 more Unusual Date Ideas taken from "Date Your Mate":

1. Let’s Make a Deal

On a piece of cardboard create a three-door game that will let your lover select the place and price level of subsequent outings.  Label the doors 1, 2, and 3.  Behind each door write the description of a particular date ( for instance, "A dinner at [a favorite restaurant] followed by a night at the theater seeing a live play" ).  Behind another door may be a less extravagant date such as "A fun-filled evening shopping for a new pair of shoes (on me, of course)".  The last alternative might be something like "You’ve won an exciting evening at home with two videos of your choice and a bowlful of popcorn."

You can switch the cards around after your lover chooses and replace the date selected with a new idea in the same price range.

Make this like the TV game by first giving your lover a gift of $20 to go out with or to trade back for a chance at the doors.

2. Mug For the Camera

Spend the evening with your lover taking outrageous photos in a photo booth.  Invest a few dollars and get one strip of pictures with the two of you doing goofy poses, one strip of the two of you wearing funny hats and glasses, etc.  Or come up with a plot for a pantomime and try to tell a story using pictures and whatever props you have on hand.  Who knows– your pictures may come out so well that you will want to have your photo-booth prints framed and hung!

3. Portable Restaurant

You will need the help of friends for this one.  Find an unusual setting (i.e. a crowded shopping mall or the top of a building) or a romantic spot (ocean cliffs or a secluded lakeside location) and set up a table (a card table works nicely).  Tell your date to dress up because you’re going to a very well-known place for dinner.  When you arrive, have your friends dressed appropriately as waiters and the table set with china and candles.  As you eat, be sure to compliment the impeccable service and comment on the ambience of the place.  (FOOD TIP:  You could have someone be the chef and barbecue your food or simply bring it in from a nearby restaurant that has prepared it "to go."  Another solution is to fix some item that can be easily kept for several hours, such as cracked crab salad on ice.)

4. Hawaii at 20-Below

In the dead of winter surprise your mate with a luau in the living room.  Get some Hawaiian music, sand and water in a jar, fruit drinks (served in coconuts with straws), roasted pork, and flower leis.  (Most florists will throw something together for you that at least will resemble a lei.)  Be sure to turn the thermostat to 80 degrees.  It’s important that you dress for the occasion.  Shorts and a Hawaiian shirt would be great.  If you have been to the islands, dig out some old pictures or project your slides on the wall.  Visit a travel agent and talk him out of a poster or two.  If you can afford it, cap off the evening with tickets to you-know-where.

5. The Best ????? in Town

For a fun way to figure out where to go to eat, agree to try to find the best of a certain kind of food in town.

For instance, you may want to discover who has the best pizza in town.  Every time you go out to eat, try another pizza place.  For added fun create scorecards and rate the food, service, and atmosphere.  You may have the watress and maitre d’ convinced you are food critics for Bon Appetit.

You can play this with any specific kind of food (such as pizza) or category of food (i.e. Italian).

Make sure to hit all the restaurants in town that specialize in the food you are testing.  You never know– sometimes the "dives" turn out to have the best food.

6. Sailing . . . Takes Me Away

Something about a sailboat is romantic.  Rent a small sailboat and cruise the harbor for a special afternoon.  It is not hard to get the hang of it and it is fun to learn together.  (Be prepared to get wet and don’t go outside the harbor.)  If you are not near a harbor or lake big enough to sail on, try a rowboat or a canoe.  Don’t forget to pack a good lunch (in a waterproof container) and bring along a camera.

For added fun you can give yourselves ranks and pretend that you are on an old schooner.

7. Ethnic Dates

Dress in the kind of clothing worn by the people whose food you’ll be eating that night (i.e. Chinese, Mexican, French, Italian, etc.)  Try to talk in that language (or at least heavily accented English) all night.

And that concludes this edition of 7 more unusual date ideas.  Tune in next time for game board dining, the love boat, and the photogenic date!

At 13 years old, I went through a True Love Waits class and wore a purity ring. I decided to save my first kiss until marriage. I was made fun of many times for that decision. My friends would ask me, ?But what if you marry a guy and he turns out to be a bad kisser?? I?ve also heard people say that you don?t buy a car without test-driving it first, so why would you get married without a little test-run? ?Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.? Matthew 5:8, 10-12. Because of my stand for purity, I was able to witness to the people I went to school with and I will be rewarded for my perseverance. G. K. Chesterton was a great Christian who said, ?Jesus promised his disciples three things: that they would be completely fearless, absurdly happy, and in constant trouble.?

When I was 17 I started dating a great guy. He was a good, Christian guy and he treated me really great, but I got bored with him. He gave me his heart and I didn?t respect that, so I started getting involved with my best friend?s boyfriend. I didn?t kiss him and we didn?t have sex, but because I gave my heart to him I was lying to my best friend, my boyfriend, my parents, myself, and I tried to lie to God. Finally, I broke up with my boyfriend so I could be with this other guy. We were horrible for each other. I was taking college classes in the evenings and I actually failed them because I?d ditch class to spend time with him. What a stupid decision!

While we were dating, a friend and I went to Teen Mania Ministry?s Acquire the Fire. That year?s theme was ?Crush the Crush.? They challenged us to take a year off from dating to focus on school and our walk with God. My friend made that commitment and asked me to be her accountability partner, but I didn?t think it?d be fair to break up with my boyfriend like that so I didn?t make that commitment. My friend and I were talking a few months later and I just got this feeling that my boyfriend was going to break up with me. I told her that if he did, I?d join her on a year off from dating. Not even a half hour later, he called and broke up with me. So, I started taking a year off from dating.

I was still just as foolish as before. Even though I didn?t ?date? any boys, I still flirted with boys. I was even someone?s secret admirer! I wasn?t focusing on God too well. I got bored one day while I was online, so I signed up for an account on a personals site. I told myself that I just wanted some people to talk to. I made sure my bio said that I?d only talk to Christians, I was in the middle of a year off from dating, and I wouldn?t kiss anybody until I was their wife. Still, I talked to a bunch of attractive men and almost dated one.

He was a student at the Air Force Academy, a Christian, and would have made a great husband. We were thinking and praying about dating once my year was over. God told me no, but I didn?t listen to Him. I wanted this man worse than I wanted to listen to God, so, even though he was a great man, he was too important to me and he had to go. Finally, I gave that desire up to God. In the past, God had to slam every door in my face and I would stand there, longing for what was on the other side. Finally, I?d give up and move on. If I had done that, I would have missed the best thing God had in store for me. Instead, God asked me to trust Him and, when I did, he took the desire away instead of shutting the door. I was able to move on without looking back. The great thing is that I know I could have been happy with this guy. We could have had a good marriage, good children, and a good life together. But, with Daniel, I have a great marriage and a great life! I was ready to settle, but God had something much better!

When Daniel and I started thinking about dating, we decided to ask God to be the King of our love story. We even gave Him the right to take our relationship away if it was His will. Daniel was trying so hard to be the man of God I deserved and so he even asked my parents if he could have their permission to date me.

The consequences of Daniel?s actions caught up with us just as we thought we had the perfect love story: When Daniel was younger he didn?t know how important it was to save his body for marriage. There were some times he didn?t even get through a week without having sex. While we were dating, one of the girls he?d had sex with called him and told him that he gave her Chlamydia. She said it had to be him because he was the only guy she?d had sex with and not used a condom.

Daniel went to get tested and, praise God, the test came up negative. His doctor told him that condoms don?t do a think against STDs. Even though Daniel tested clean, we began thinking about STDs. Since HPV is the most common STD and there?s no test for men, the only way we?d know if he had it was if we got married and I tested positive! That really scared me. Daniel almost broke up with me because he couldn?t bear the thought of watching me die from a disease he gave me. Before we broke up, though, we gave it up to God again. He told us to stay together so we did. We work for a really big God and even if Daniel had an STD, God has my best interest at heart. He may protect me from getting it or allow me to get it in order to reach people better.

Daniel proposed to me and we got married. My first kiss was as the pastor said, ?You may kiss the bride.? What a kiss that was! People were afraid that I?d make a fool of myself on my wedding day if I didn?t know how to kiss, but we had an awesome kiss because we waited! People also said that sex would be weird because I wouldn?t know how to do it on my wedding night. They were wrong! Sex isn?t about having the right moves or impressing your partner. It?s about trusting them and being close to them, which we were.

One thing that really helped me stay pure was the knowledge that God is my lover. Even now, Daniel isn?t the perfect lover. Sometimes we fight, sometimes we get lonely while the other one?s gone, but God is always there and will always love me. Even if God wanted to take Daniel away from me, I could still survive because I have the love of the greatest groom I could ever want: Jesus!

The lesson I learned in all of this is that to live out what God has planned for you, you must first give your heart, body, mind, and emotions to Him. When they are truly His, then He has the freedom to give your heart to whoever He wishes.

Believing that true love waits, I make a commitment to God, myself, my family, my friends, my future mate, and my future children to a lifetime of purity including sexual abstinence from this day until the day I enter a biblical marriage relationship.

Passion and purity may seem mutually exclusive. They are not. It is possible to feel passionately toward someone without following through physically. No one said it was easy, but it is possible.

First, understand that purity begins with what is in your heart and your mind. Romans 8 says, “… those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires … the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace.” (NIV) You must fill your mind with God’s word and with pure motives and thoughts before expecting your body to follow suit.

Second, a lifetime of purity is contingent upon setting boundaries and living within them. Before you find yourself in a situation that might break down those boundaries, determine in your heart and mind where the boundaries are in your relationships with the opposite sex. Determine that your body is your own and that a person who respects you and truly loves you will respect the boundaries that you have set.

Third, purity is not contingent on the past. If you have already given in to physical desire, pledge today that from this day forward you will remain physically pure. Put the boundaries back in place and accept God’s forgiveness for moving the barricades. If we confess our sins, [God] is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us of all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9, NIV).

Fourth, the quest for purity does not end with marriage. Ah, just when you thought that marriage could solve all of your passion and purity issues, I had to bring this up. Within marriage there are still choices to be made. How easy it would be to say that once you are married, the issue will be decided, you will no longer struggle with passion and purity. But just look around you. Look at believers in Christ who have thrown away their marriages for another man or another woman. Look at ministries that have been brought to ruin by giving in to temptation outside of marriage. Look at affairs that started with an “innocent” glance or touch. The quest for purity is a lifetime pursuit, making it even more important to practice purity from an early age.

Because the quest for purity does not end with marriage, no matter whether you are single or married, you must put into practice the first two principles: fill your mind with God’s word and with pure motives and thoughts before expecting your body to follow suit, and set boundaries that will be in place now and for a lifetime.

A commitment to purity may not be easy and you may be faced with many challenges along the way, but when the day comes that you say “I do” to the man or woman chosen to be your lifelong mate, there will unspeakable joy when the two become one.

I didn’t even see it coming.Daniel and I had met in early April on the internet. Never thought we’d develop more than a friendship, but really enjoyed talking to each other about our faith and theological matters. We met in person on April 24, 2004 and hit it off right away. The close, Christ-centered friendship we’d enjoyed soon turned into a romance.I was just finishing a year sabbatical from dating, so Daniel and I had to wait until June 1 to truly become boyfriend and girlfriend. On the last three days of my sabbatical, we fasted and prayed, asking God for direction about each other. We wanted to be sure He meant the two of us to be together before we ever started dating. On June 1, we broke our fast at Old Chicago and he asked me to be his girlfriend. I accepted. On the first of every month, we celebrate by having lunch or dinner at Old Chicago.A few weeks later, Daniel got some free passes to Six Flags, so he treated our family to a day out. I knew that part of his plan was to pull my dad aside and ask for my hand in marriage. (Yeah, we moved fast. But God was so definitely in it!) It wasn?t going to be hard to get alone with my dad, as they?re the only two people in my family who like roller coasters.My mom and brother joined me in line for the Spider, while my dad and boyfriend headed to the Sidewinder. They were only gone for a few minutes when they?d returned, lamenting the fact that the ride was closed. Needless to say, I was disappointed.

For the next few weeks, I kept ?encouraging? (nagging) Daniel to talk to my dad. He kept saying, ?I?m waiting for the right opportunity,? which frustrated me since I knew the right opportunity wouldn?t come. He would have to make the opportunity.

On August 7, Daniel and I got dressed up all fancy-like to go downtown and watch a live production of I Love You, You?re Perfect, Now Change. (Hilarious romantic comedy, by the way!) We got hungry on the way there so, while we?re dressed in a suit and a formal dress, we ate dinner at Sam #5 (a not-so-fancy burger joint). Yeah, we turned heads.

After the play, we went to the Cheesecake Factory and ordered dessert. Before the desert came, Daniel was fidgeting with his cell phone and ?accidentally? dropped it on the floor. As he went down to pick up his phone, he stayed on one knee and asked me to marry him.

I thought he was kidding.

There were three rules a man had to meet before I?d accept a marriage proposal from him. He had to have a ring. He had to ask my dad. (Dad didn?t have to say yes, but he still had to ask.) He had to be on one knee.

I didn?t believe Daniel was serious because I didn?t think he?d talked to my dad yet, but it turns out that while the roller coaster really was closed, he had still talked with my dad on the way there and back. They had kept it a secret so I wouldn?t suspect anything and his proposal could be a surprise? I think they succeeded.

When Daniel asked me to marry him, I said, ?Don?t play with me. This isn?t funny.? Then he pulled out the ring.

I was afraid to look too hard at it or touch it for fear it?d disappear. But somehow, I couldn?t take my eyes away from it.

I sat there and cried, overwhelmed, for about 20 minutes with Daniel staying on his knees, waiting for an answer. I couldn?t speak, I had to simply nod. He helped me put the ring on since my hands were shaking.

We never even touched our desserts. I was too distracted. We boxed the cheesecake up and gave it to a homeless man outside the restaurant. We then hired a bicycle-led rickshaw for a romantic ride through the city.

I cried for about four hours, trying to wrap my head around what had just happened. Nearly five months later, we were married. But that?s a story for another day.

To see our wedding photos, click here.

This year, my husband and I will celebrate ten years of marriage. In honor of our anniversary, I thought I’d share ten of my favorite dates. These are not in any particular order.

1. The old stand-by: Dinner and a movie at the theater. Eating together is one of the most important things we do. There is just something about sitting around a table together with food that helps us start talking. Our local theater has the seats with the retractable arm, so we can sit close together just like we’re on the couch at home.

2. We put the kids to bed, then watch a movie together while we eat a dessert. This tends to be less expensive than #1. The other thing I like about this date is that we can curl up on the couch and snuggle under a blanket together. I love a quiet night at home!

3. Bowling. My husband and I enjoy a little competition every now and then (as some of the other dates suggest). He definitely enjoys bowling more than I do, but I enjoy spending time with him. Plus, watching one another bowl provides lots of laughs. Our bowling alley has an…

4. Arcade. Yes, we actually have fun playing those games from our childhood.

5. Concerts. When we can, a financial splurge on concert tickets is always a fun date. It took a little extra work on my husband’s part, but he kept his purchase of concert tickets to one of my favorite performers a secret until the night of the concert. All I knew was what I needed to wear. It was such a great surprise!

6. Museums. I have sweet memories of strolling through museums, holding my husband’s hand, and talking about everything we saw. I think my husband is one of the most interesting people I’ve ever met. I love asking him what he thinks. Our museum visits have always provided so much to discuss and share.

7. Invite another couple over for some games. We have some great friends who enjoy playing games as much as we do. Our evenings together have been hilarious!

8. State parks. We spent a day walking trails, visiting a wildlife refuge, and looking at the beautiful scenery.

9. A lunch date. These are rare, so they are extra special. Seeing my husband in the middle of his busy day is so much fun. He always has a lunch break, but I don’t always have a lunchtime sitter. However, when I do the planning it’s easy to do a lunch date. He loves to hear, “I’ve got a sitter for lunch. Let’s get together.”

10. Mini-golf. It’s not expensive. It’s outdoors. Like bowling, mini-golf provides lots of laughs for us.

Most of the time, I am not concerned with what we’re doing. I just love being with my husband. It’s important to me to show him that he’s still the one with whom I choose to spend my life. And I love knowing that I’m the one for him.