Children are blessings that are given to parents.  They were not given to the government, they were not given to a future employer—they were given to parents.

That means that parents are responsible for the raising and actions of the child.

That being said, the state and the culture want many parents to believe that they play only a minor part—or only have to play a minor role—and that parents can continue to do whatever they want (almost acting like children!) and not think about this role that was given them by God.

The Confusion

The reason that there is confusion when it comes to parental responsibility is that the state wants to indoctrinate your kids and to mold them in their image.  However, they’re more than willing to pin the responsibility for the bad behavior or lawlessness that results.

I’m not sure that this is intentional, but it is certainly the consequence.

What Can You Do?

If you must send your child to a government school, maintain an active dialog with the child and keep up with what they are learning.  Teaching them critical thinking skills is important.  They will be up against all sorts of challenges every day while you’re not there.

If you can, look at your finances and figure out that you don’t need that second job, second car, and expensive house.  Opt out of the two-job mindset and get out of debt.  That way you can afford to teach your children yourself.

Children are your Blessing

That means that you need to take every available minute to be with them and instruct them.  Not so that you’re helicoptering, but that you teach them how to grow and live in the world as responsible adults ready for responsibility.

Then your children will bring you joy in your old age.  It’s a lot of hard work, but it’ll be worth is.

By now I feel like I’m getting to be an expert.  This being my second layoff in seven months, I have to say that knowing that one is coming doesn’t make it any easier.

A layoff can be a difficult time—especially depending on how you take it and how well you have prepared.

Let’s take a brief look at how you can prepare yourself and your family for the possibility of a layoff.

Emergency Fund

Anyone that is living through these current times that does not have some kind of emergency fund is simply not being realistic.  But how big should your emergency fund be, and what constitutes an emergency?

The truth is, life always presents the unexpected, and that’s how I define an emergency.  You know that your car will wear out, that the furniture will need to be replaced or that an appliance may need repair.  Those things you should plan for, but should not constitute an emergency.

An emergency is anything that a person would not reasonably plan for.  Here are some examples:

• Loss of job
• Injury on the job
• Multiple things going wrong at the house at the same time

Basically, the more you have saved for planned events, the less necessary your emergency fund will have to be.

How much should you have saved?  Studies suggest that you should have about 6 months living expenses saved.  To figure out how much this is, take your budget (you have one, don’t you?) or add up all the bills you have to pay, factor in how much you would need for living expenses (household, groceries, etc.) for one month, then multiply this by 6. 

A good rule of thumb is to have approximately $15,000 on hand in case something happens.

If you have a good emergency fund, then a layoff is not bound to impact you as much, simply because you are prepared for the event and you don’t have to wonder where the money is going to come from to feed your family.

Also, keep in mind that unless you’re a two income family, you will have to pay for some kind of health insurance unless you are young, or can go for some time without.

The Right Frame of Mind

If you live in a way that you are dependant on your job, and you’re emotionally invested in it, then you will have a hard time living without it.  The truth is, most layoff occur for business reasons—not personal ones.  It’s not because you’re a terrible person, or the boss doesn’t like you, but for the purely business reason that they cannot afford to keep you.

Now, I know that this is not always the case, but keeping an honest opinion about what’s going on is important.  If there is a problem with your work performance or something that you are or are not doing, then fix it!

Having the right frame of mind will help you to be able to accurately gauge where your strengths and weaknesses are, and also where you need work.  For the most part, there are jobs out there—you just have to be willing to find work where it is and not be too proud as to take something that may be a little less then you were in order to work your way back up.

Look at this as an opportunity to change—and people deal with change in different ways.  You need to approach this as the beginning of a new adventure.  Remember the past, look back at what you’ve learned objectively, and then start pressing forward.  Dwelling in the past is a recipe for despair.

Lastly, enjoy this time with your family.  Don’t go crazy on the celebrating, but do take the opportunity to connect with them.  Spend the time that you would have been working (that you’re not actively looking for new work!) playing ball with your boys, taking those bike rides, or spending time connecting with your spouse.  That way, you’ll look back on the time without work fondly, instead of as a time when you were mean with everyone around you.

“From the bank.”

That was the answer that my oldest gave to the question in the title.  He knew that we drove up to the bank and that’s where I got the money to pay for things.

Kids notice things that are right in front of them.  They see that I go to work everyday—though they (obviously) have not made the connection that I do that so that we can have money to buy things that we need and want.

“God gives it to us,”  was the response of the second child

But Doesn’t Everything We Have Come From God?

What an interesting and insightful question.  God is the provider of all good things.  It is He that provides the job, that arranges the salary, and gave the gifts in the first place to be used for the provision.

He is before all things, and by Him all things consist.

So, yes.  When we thank the Lord for our food, for our house and for our groceries, we are thanking Him for something He did provide—regardless of whether the money came from savings, salary or blogging. :)

And this must be always first in our minds.  If we are to be a thankful person, if we are to look at others as people who we can reach, if we are to live lives that are self-less instead of selfish, and be more kind, we’re going to have to not look at ourselves as the reasons for the things we have.

That is part of the problem that happens when things get tight or do not go our way.  If it truly was the fact that we are in total control of our destiny and that we are the only ones for credit for our job, then we have much to fear when we blow it or the economy gets rough.  If, instead, it is a gift from God, then we can rest in Him knowing that He will provide our needs.

Does That Mean I Can Just Blow it On Wii Games?

“Don’t you have $50?” was the question my oldest asked when I told him the price of the game that he wanted in the Game Store.  Of course I have the money, but I turned around and asked him the same question—does he have the money?  Will he work and save for the game?

A lot of us want things handed to us.  The government is currently preying on this very thought, handing out other people’s money to just about everyone that sneezes—literally.  And yet one could say that since God is in charge of supplying my needs, when I get more than my needs met I can just blow it on anything I want, because God always will meet my needs, right?

Which is where Joseph comes into play.  Remember that God told Pharaoh that there would be seven good years and then seven bad years in the land.  Joseph’s plan?  Save during the seven good years and sell during the seven bad.

God may bless with abundance, but that doesn’t give us the right to go into heavy debt or blow all of our money on things we want.  We should be those that plan wisely to use what He has given in an efficient manner.

Again, remember the parables in the New Testament where the master gives to his servants 10, 5, and 1 talents.  When he returns, he asks what they’ve done with them, and the one that buried it because he thought that he would make sure to give the master the one back was chastised for not even making interest on it!

What’s The Lesson?

Let’s sum it up in a few bullet points:

• Be thankful and grateful: Maintain a correct perspective on the money you have and where it comes from.
• Be frugal:  It’s not wrong to get wants, but you must know what’s important and plan for the rough time.
• Invest:  Whether it’s money, time, or in people, our time is short here and it’s important to make an impact

Keep these in mind the next time you find yourself in a conversation about money!

That’s right.  About three weeks ago, my friend and coworker decided that he was going to be a tough guy and instead of staying home and getting over his cold there, he decided to come to work and share it with all of us.  His cold went on for what seemed like two weeks, and he came in every day, coughing with his voice almost gone.

Now, I have a healthy immune system, but even I felt a little of the effects.  And my middle son all of a sudden had a cough that sounded just like my coworker’s cough.

Now I have at least two of the three (if not all three) coughing, and I’m sitting here writing blog posts when I could be sleeping.

So please, if you’re sick, show kindness by:

• Staying Home
• Getting Needed Rest
• Taking Care of Yourself
• Not Sharing Your Cold

Your coworkers, their families, and your company will thank you.

I don’t know what it is about getting or looking at getting a newborn baby gift, but ladies seem to go crazy when it comes to these types of things.  The small shoes, the small socks—they are like something begging women to get all soft on the inside.

And the interesting thing is how short a period of time these kids are in their shoes.  I mean, I’m 90% positive that the only reason that ladies get these shoes are for their keepsake value!

I have my own pair of baby booties that my mom stuffed and claims I wore, and although they are not custom leather baby shoes, they do remind me that at one point it time (probably a very short period of time) I had much smaller feet than I do today.

Don’t get me wrong.  Getting unique personalized baby gifts isn’t a bad idea.  It’s nice to have keepsakes and things to remember times that have gone by, but sometimes it does seem a little silly.  My baby booties don’t remind me of a time that I cannot remember—they help me to see that I was small, but I have no good memories in my booties.

What do you think?

The Trip

Our summer plans this year include a major move!  We are preparing to embark on a 4700 mile move. Yes, 4700 miles! We are also driving (except for three days on a ferry). I often hear people with only a few children talk about the stress of traveling. They are usually much shorter distances too! I have been pitied and then asked how we keep our sanity on such trips. I will admit that we have not made a trip quite this long before, our longest was a year ago when we traveled 3300 miles (all by car). We did have a few bumps along the way too. Take a moment to read about our $400 Bee?

Here are a few statistics for our upcoming move:

• 4700 miles
• two vehicles driven
• eight children (plus being pregnant)
• two dogs, kennels, bed, and other supplies
• 1 month for travel
• luggage and necessities for living out of suitcases for about 3 months (plus what is needed for camp)
• 2 coolers

Sounds like fun right????? If you answered that with a resounding “NO!” let me tell you that you would already be doomed to have a not so fun trip! I thought that I would share some of our secrets for having a great trip even while driving 2 vehicles with a large family, 2 dogs, hundreds of pounds of luggage, months of living out of suitcases, and so many miles ahead of us.

• Sounds like fun right?? Your answer should be, “We cannot wait for this grand adventure!” If you look at it positively then things are more likely to go well for you. Even things like a $400 bee can be seen as an adventure. Look for the positive because getting angry, frazzled, and upset NEVER makes the miles any shorter and more often than not makes them seem longer.
• Plan some fun stops along the way. Give the children something to look forward to. Make it a mini vacation. You have to stop so why not stop somewhere fun?
• Take advantage of hotel pools. The children have been cooped up all day long let them have a way to exert some energy. It doesn’t take much, even a half an hour will do.
• Let the children stay up late and watch television and snack in bed. Yes, they may not want to wake up in the morning but they will often go back to sleep once you hit the road.
• Pack your coolers well. Make sure you have plenty of healthy snacks, as non-messy as possible, on hand. This keeps you from having to make more stops, spend more money, and keeps the little ones happy and distracted for a while.
• Take along some stories on cd. Long stories. One trip we listened to Focus on the Family’s theater version of the Chronicles of Narnia. On another trip we listened to some G.H. Henty stories on cd. All of the children were engrossed in them and often complained when we had to stop for gas. They didn’t want to stop, they wanted to hear more of the story!
• Enjoy your time in the hotel. Free breakfast and no beds to make. You can even leave the towels on the floor! It is like having a maid.
• Living out of suitcases isn’t so bad either. You have much less laundry to manage than you would if you had your entire wardrobes. Sure the laundromat isn’t all that fun but you get every load of laundry done at the same time!
• Get an early start (it doesn’t have to be super early), the day doesn’t seem as long if you arrive at your destination while it is still daylight and you have a few hours to move and let the littles wiggle a bit. It seems much longer and more tiring if you arrive in the dark only to go to bed and start over again in the morning.
• Take pillows, little blankets, and a favorite doll, toy, or book. Limit it to only one (you usually have more than enough stuff to keep track of)! Yes, it takes up more room but if your children are comfortable they will endure the long hours better.
• For us, smaller suitcases with handles and wheels for each child (or two littles per suitcase) works better than larger suitcases with several children sharing. They are responsible for their own things and are responsible for moving it to and from the van.
• Since we must take both of our vehicles when we move, walkie-talkies are great! Hubby and I can contact each other easily when one of us needs to make a pit stop or just chat about the scenery along the way.
• Keep in mind that children are children and not adults. They do not always endure hours in the car the way an adult does. Be prepared to have to make occasional stops to let the one year old out of the car seat to run. Treat them with a happy and loving tone, this always works better than getting angry with them. They may still cry and be upset but you are the adult and you can set a cheerful tone.
• MOST IMPORTANTLY- bathe your trip in prayer!!!

Hopefully it wasn’t last father’s day.  And yet telling your dad that you love him, for a son, is one of the most awkward things you can do if the father didn’t set out building that degree of transparency all the way up.

I can’t remember the first time I ever told my grandfather I loved him—but it was later on in life.  As his life started nearing its end, I made sure that a conversation did not go by where I let him know that I loved him.

But why does it have to be like that?  Part of it’s culture—people of that generation didn’t express emotion like that.  But that is only an excuse.

So, this father’s day, don’t just give him a card or make sure he knows today—make sure that you begin to make it a habit to tell him how you feel.  It may be a little awkward at first, but it will be more precious than any tie or other thing that money could buy.

One of the most difficult things, I think, to remember to do is to always remember why you are disciplining your child– the end goal– and try your hardest not to get caught up “in the moment.” 

To that end, I suggested that you plan what the punishment for a particular “crime” will be before you get in the situation, and that you also enforce your requests.  The last thing that a child needs it to wonder if mom or dad “really mean it this time…”

As I was reading around the net, I found The Queen posted how I felt with Biblical responses.  Especially the first couple:

I say: “Lord, all they do is fight and grumble.”
He says: “A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel.” Prov 15:18

I say “But Lord, there are SO many quarrels.”
He says “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Prov 15:1

I say: “Okay Lord but I get so angry and I lose it and I can’t help it…”
He says: “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” Prov 14:1

So take heart, mom and dad.  God never asks us to do something that He will not also provide the strength with which to do it.  Rest in Him.  Pray to Him.  Rely on Him.

They need to realize that when I want a toy, I want it now, and that I shouldn’t be expected to share– that’s why I put things I like in my pockets so that my pants look like they’re falling down!

But I do love them.  I would do anything for them.  And I do think of others.  Like just this past Sunday we were playing a card game Daddy got for his birthday and he hadn’t won once.  So, I tried to pick the color that would help him win– only my brother (there he goes again) changed the color so I ended up winning instead of Daddy.

I also try to help keep track of my sister– she’s always into something.  My dad and mom can’t be everywhere, so I’ll try to help out there.

Well, Daddy’s telling me that it’s time to get done writing.  So, I’ll have to see you later!

* Our second child is actually taller.

Finding a spouse is a very important topic. Most youth don’t realize the importance of this topic or understand the steps that need to be taken to find a spouse. My mom has taught me a lot on this issue.

My desire is to follow the Lord and trust in his plan. At this point in my life, I honestly don’t know if I want to get married. If the Lord has someone for me to marry then I will follow him in that. If I get married these are the steps I will take.

First of all, I will court and not date. If someone asks me to go on a date with them I will simply say that I do not date. If they are interested they must speak to my father.

Secondly, before I enter into a courtship I will pray with my parents about it and ask for their guidance. I know this sounds like I am saying this because that’s how it is supposed to work. That is not the case; this is how I want it to be.

Thirdly, after accepting, if that is what God is leading us in, we would talk about how the house is to be run and what it is that we will believe as a family. We would discuss things such as financial handling, schooling, jobs, where the wife should be during the day, what God says concerning having children, and so on. Beliefs are something that must be taken seriously or your relationship will fall apart.

Fourth, if God is still leading in the direction of marriage there should be serious prayer.

Let me share my standards. The person must be a Christian. They must be respectful and honest. They must stay pure until marriage. They must love me and not look to any other. Their apparel is also important, the must dress modestly. This is to avoid attracting others’ attention just so they will want to know them because they are cute or handsome. In Matthew 5 it says if you look at someone with lust you commit adultery. They must have a relationship and be walking with the Lord. They can’t just say they are a Christian. They must want to get closer to the Lord.

One thing we must remember us that our spouse isn’t going to be perfect. If you wait for a perfect person you will be waiting your entire life. You will always be single. For the Bible says that all have sinned.

Like I said before, I don’t know if I will ever marry, I probably will. It is up to the Lord and if he wants me to marry I will follow him. If he tells me to stay single I will. It is up to the Lord and I will be content with his will for my life.