Weekend Kindness
Reaching Others Through Kindness

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The Trip

Our summer plans this year include a major move!  We are preparing to embark on a 4700 mile move. Yes, 4700 miles! We are also driving (except for three days on a ferry). I often hear people with only a few children talk about the stress of traveling. They are usually much shorter distances too! I have been pitied and then asked how we keep our sanity on such trips. I will admit that we have not made a trip quite this long before, our longest was a year ago when we traveled 3300 miles (all by car). We did have a few bumps along the way too. Take a moment to read about our $400 Bee?

Here are a few statistics for our upcoming move:

• 4700 miles
• two vehicles driven
• eight children (plus being pregnant)
• two dogs, kennels, bed, and other supplies
• 1 month for travel
• luggage and necessities for living out of suitcases for about 3 months (plus what is needed for camp)
• 2 coolers

Sounds like fun right????? If you answered that with a resounding “NO!” let me tell you that you would already be doomed to have a not so fun trip! I thought that I would share some of our secrets for having a great trip even while driving 2 vehicles with a large family, 2 dogs, hundreds of pounds of luggage, months of living out of suitcases, and so many miles ahead of us.

• Sounds like fun right?? Your answer should be, “We cannot wait for this grand adventure!” If you look at it positively then things are more likely to go well for you. Even things like a $400 bee can be seen as an adventure. Look for the positive because getting angry, frazzled, and upset NEVER makes the miles any shorter and more often than not makes them seem longer.
• Plan some fun stops along the way. Give the children something to look forward to. Make it a mini vacation. You have to stop so why not stop somewhere fun?
• Take advantage of hotel pools. The children have been cooped up all day long let them have a way to exert some energy. It doesn’t take much, even a half an hour will do.
• Let the children stay up late and watch television and snack in bed. Yes, they may not want to wake up in the morning but they will often go back to sleep once you hit the road.
• Pack your coolers well. Make sure you have plenty of healthy snacks, as non-messy as possible, on hand. This keeps you from having to make more stops, spend more money, and keeps the little ones happy and distracted for a while.
• Take along some stories on CD. Long stories. One trip we listened to Focus on the Family’s theater version of the Chronicles of Narnia. On another trip we listened to some G.H. Henty stories on CD. All of the children were engrossed in them and often complained when we had to stop for gas. They didn’t want to stop, they wanted to hear more of the story!
• Enjoy your time in the hotel. Free breakfast and no beds to make. You can even leave the towels on the floor! It is like having a maid.
• Living out of suitcases isn’t so bad either. You have much less laundry to manage than you would if you had your entire wardrobes. Sure the laundromat isn’t all that fun but you get every load of laundry done at the same time!
• Get an early start (it doesn’t have to be super early), the day doesn’t seem as long if you arrive at your destination while it is still daylight and you have a few hours to move and let the littles wiggle a bit. It seems much longer and more tiring if you arrive in the dark only to go to bed and start over again in the morning.
• Take pillows, little blankets, and a favorite doll, toy, or book. Limit it to only one (you usually have more than enough stuff to keep track of)! Yes, it takes up more room but if your children are comfortable they will endure the long hours better.
• For us, smaller suitcases with handles and wheels for each child (or two littles per suitcase) works better than larger suitcases with several children sharing. They are responsible for their own things and are responsible for moving it to and from the van.
• Since we must take both of our vehicles when we move, walkie-talkies are great! Hubby and I can contact each other easily when one of us needs to make a pit stop or just chat about the scenery along the way.
• Keep in mind that children are children and not adults. They do not always endure hours in the car the way an adult does. Be prepared to have to make occasional stops to let the one year old out of the car seat to run. Treat them with a happy and loving tone, this always works better than getting angry with them. They may still cry and be upset but you are the adult and you can set a cheerful tone.
• MOST IMPORTANTLY- bathe your trip in prayer!!!

Hopefully it wasn’t last father’s day.  And yet telling your dad that you love him, for a son, is one of the most awkward things you can do if the father didn’t set out building that degree of transparency all the way up.

I can’t remember the first time I ever told my grandfather I loved him—but it was later on in life.  As his life started nearing its end, I made sure that a conversation did not go by where I let him know that I loved him.

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Yesterday on my blog we discussed California’s latest attempt to ban spanking, and the conversation naturally flowed to something that’s difficult for all parents– disciplining our children.

One of the most difficult things, I think, to remember to do is to always remember why you are disciplining your child– the end goal– and try your hardest not to get caught up “in the moment.” 

To that end, I suggested that you plan what the punishment for a particular “crime” will be before you get in the situation, and that you also enforce your requests.  The last thing that a child needs it to wonder if mom or dad “really mean it this time…”

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My mom and dad are both first born children, so you think that they’d understand– but they don’t.  You see, I love my brother and sister, I really do.  But they need to understand that I’m the smartest, the tallest* and the best looking!

They need to realize that when I want a toy, I want it now, and that I shouldn’t be expected to share– that’s why I put things I like in my pockets so that my pants look like they’re falling down!

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Today I would like to share portions of a paper my daughter wrote last year concerning finding a spouse. I hope you enjoy it and are encouraged.~~

Finding a spouse is a very important topic. Most youth don’t realize the importance of this topic or understand the steps that need to be taken to find a spouse. My mom has taught me a lot on this issue.

My desire is to follow the Lord and trust in his plan. At this point in my life, I honestly don’t know if I want to get married. If the Lord has someone for me to marry then I will follow him in that. If I get married these are the steps I will take.

First of all, I will court and not date. If someone asks me to go on a date with them I will simply say that I do not date. If they are interested they must speak to my father.

Secondly, before I enter into a courtship I will pray with my parents about it and ask for their guidance. I know this sounds like I am saying this because that’s how it is supposed to work. That is not the case; this is how I want it to be.

Thirdly, after accepting, if that is what God is leading us in, we would talk about how the house is to be run and what it is that we will believe as a family. We would discuss things such as financial handling, schooling, jobs, where the wife should be during the day, what God says concerning having children, and so on. Beliefs are something that must be taken seriously or your relationship will fall apart.

Fourth, if God is still leading in the direction of marriage there should be serious prayer.

Let me share my standards. The person must be a Christian. They must be respectful and honest. They must stay pure until marriage. They must love me and not look to any other. Their apparel is also important, the must dress modestly. This is to avoid attracting others’ attention just so they will want to know them because they are cute or handsome. In Matthew 5 it says if you look at someone with lust you commit adultery. They must have a relationship and be walking with the Lord. They can’t just say they are a Christian. They must want to get closer to the Lord.

One thing we must remember us that our spouse isn’t going to be perfect. If you wait for a perfect person you will be waiting your entire life. You will always be single. For the Bible says that all have sinned.

Like I said before, I don’t know if I will ever marry, I probably will. It is up to the Lord and if he wants me to marry I will follow him. If he tells me to stay single I will. It is up to the Lord and I will be content with his will for my life.

Psalm 127
Unless the LORD builds the house, They labor in vain who build it; Unless the LORD guards the city, The watchman keeps awake in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, To retire late, To eat the bread of painful labors; For He gives to His beloved {even in his} sleep. Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; They will not be ashamed When they speak with their enemies in the gate.

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My dad has always been great about spending quality time with my brother and me. Very often at bedtime, my dad would lay down in the middle of one of the kids’ beds and we’d each lay on either side of him, staring at the ceiling. My dad would reminisce about growing up on a small farm in Abilene, Kansas. He had so many stories to share with us, and they were always fascinating since my brother and I were raised in the city. I think my dad is the best storyteller there ever was.

Here’s one of his classics, as I remember it:

The Space-Test Rooster

Your grandmother would go to town to the Farmer’s Market on Sunday afternoons. One day when she came back, she had brought back some chicken eggs. That wasn’t so unusual. What was unusual was that the eggs were banty eggs.

Every animal on a farm has its purpose. It may be to lay eggs, produce milk, or work in the field. A banty chicken is much smaller than a normal chicken and is usually raised for show, not to lay eggs. So why your grandmother bought these little eggs, we’ll never know.

One by one, the eggs hatched and every one was a hen, except for one rooster. Since banty roosters are so much smaller than normal roosters, they have to be much more mean and aggressive to keep from getting picked on by the big roosters. This rooster was no exception. He thought he was the biggest, baddest guy in the whole yard.

I was about six years old and my brother was about four. Your grandfather would send us out to the barns and haylofts to get different supplies and help around the farm. Since we were so young and the doors were heavy, we’d only push them open far enough for us to squeeze in and out.

Whenever my brother or I were in the barns alone, the little rooster would stand in the crack in the doorway and block our escape route. Now, even though he was smaller than an ordinary rooster, he was vicious. He had a bad attitude and his beak and claws were dangerous. And to a six year old kid, he looked huge. We’d have to simply run for it and try to get past the rooster without getting too beat up.

My brother and I would tell your grandfather whenever the rooster attacked us, but since the rooster only attacked one of us at a time, grandfather didn’t believe it was as bad as we’d said. Well, one day, the banty made the mistake of cornering both of us together. After we got away from him, we both went to your grandfather and told him what happened.

“Okay,” he said, “let’s take him for a space-test.”

Your grandfather went to the barn and grabbed a five gallon bucket, went out to the yard, grabbed that little rooster, plopped him down into the bucket, and spun the bucket around and around and around and around. Then he dumped the dizzy rooster onto the ground.

He took two steps and fell over. You could watch his eyes and tell that the world was spinning like a top. He just laid there for a while, then, when the world stopped moving, he jumped up and took off running! He made a beeline away from the farmyard and disappeared over the hill. We never saw that poor rooster again.

Although it’s not so much the story that matters as the time spent with us, my dad was able to bring us for moments at a time into the world in which he grew up. I swear, sometimes my dad was magical. He gave us parts of himself that, no matter what happens, are ours to cherish. He sure knew how to make a kid feel special.