Weekend Kindness
Reaching Others Through Kindness

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When Jeff moved into our apartment just after our honeymoon, he had almost no furniture. The whole homemaking kit had been mine, down to dish rack and dust rags. He did contribute a TV, a large movie collection, and a very nice desktop computer. My technology and entertainment needs were supplied!

One critical item of furniture Jeff needed was a small dresser for all the clothing that couldn’t be put on a hanger. We were, and still are, on a tiny budget. Whatever sort of bureau we could find for cheap would have to do. How about free? A couple from church said they rescued a small four-drawer dresser that we could paint with some of their left-over house paint. That sounded perfect! We headed over to their house after church in our work clothes, ready to get the it spiffied up.

The little thing definitely needed a couple coats of paint, because it had been sitting in the neighbor’s garage for a couple of years! We peeled off old stickers and dusted out the cobwebs. Our friends had five or six cans of paint to choose from. We decided to go with a rainbow theme, with each drawer a different color and the sides and top contrasting in dark red. I opened up a can of medium green paint and started slathering it on generously to the middle drawer front. It seemed to be thicker than the other paints.

“Oh, that is the chalkboard paint!” Our friend exclaimed. Sure enough, I had put on two coats of the nice textured stuff before she had caught the mistake. We knew how to turn the situation around. We left the drawer as is.

The Message Board is what I use to encourage Jeff with occasional love notes. When he goes looking for a clean pair of socks in the morning, he can smile at what little quote or joke I’ve left for him. Its been a while since I’ve written a new message, the old one is smudged. Usually, I forget about it when I am busy with other things, but Jeff certainly notices when I remember.

Our goofy little dresser might remind you of the proverbial orange crate days of your marriage. Jeff would not part with it for all the dressers in the world, even if we buy a new one someday. We will find a place for it in our home.

I encourage you to find that place in your heart where the small things dwell: the old jokes,  the little notes tucked into lunches or Bibles, taking time to observe what your spouse likes and being conscious on how you respond. Sometimes, all you need is a little bit of chalk to say “I love you!”

As newlyweds, Jeff and I were given lots of advice and a stack of books we should read to get us off on the right track in our marriage. One such golden rule was this, “You can be right and lonely or wrong and happy.” This means that you can argue your point down to the ground and drive away your spouse or you can choose to let the disagreement drop for the sake of loving unity. We didn’t have to wait until our wedding day to prove this maxim was correct.

About two months before our wedding in July of 2006, we went out to dinner at Cracker Barrel. The waitress was not serving us properly. We got into an argument about it near the end of the meal, though I don’t remember the details.  I was arguing from my emotions; he was arguing from his intellect. Then Jeff uttered the famous last words, “Am I right?” I stood up and walked out of the dining room to the cashiers. He was right and lonely!

We laugh about that argument now and use it to counsel others. Repeatedly, we’ve seen other couples who are brought almost to separation over seemingly small arguments. Usually, underneath, there are huge issues of bitterness, the root of divorce. You know how the seeds of bitterness are sown? They are nourished through always having to be right…even down to the dirty socks he always tosses on the floor. We’ve learned to put aside the pettiness and enjoy each other’s company instead.

Welcome, everyone, to Weekend Kindness! I am honored to collaborate on this blog and hope to bring helpful, solid advice and ideas to the table.

My name is Anna and I maintain Veiled Glory blog and site that serve the burgeoning head-covering and modestly-clothed Christian women’s community. So many women are earnestly trying to figure out what it means to show their faith through the way they dress. I share about my path towards covering my hair in accordance with 1 Corinthians 11 and dressing modestly in the sometimes less than friendly environment of Academia, where I work and attend classes.

I have been married for just over one year to Jeff, a soon to be certified computer geek. We have one spoiled cat and no children…yet.

MintheGap asked me to join Weekend Kindness to serve as the Newlywed perspective, because older marrieds may have forgotten what this stage in life is like. Jeff and I came from Christian homes but had to find the faith on our own after several years of prodigal living before we were married. We know what the World has to offer and said, “No Way!” and each committed ourselves to waiting for God’s timing in courtship.Our favorite saying, when it comes to our marriage is: “It just keeps getting better!”

And my prayer is that your marriage will keep getting better, too.