Weekend Kindness
Reaching Others Through Kindness

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I’m sure you’re familiar with the phrase which titles this post. It is a portion of a famous line from a play; however, I find it both ironic and sad that the words “kindness” and “strangers” should be so firmly linked.

Is there not, however, much truth in that linkage? Am I the only one who oft finds it easier to be kinder to a stranger than I am to those “nearest and dearest” to me? That ought not be the case. Kindness should be most often expressed toward those in my own home. Ill-temper, impatience, discourtesy - these are all manifestations of unkindness in my life.

If I am to have healthy and joyful relationships with others (my spouse, children, friends, family members, and even strangers), I must exercise myself to be kind. I must not let familiarity breed contempt and must take care to root out the attitude that those closest to me should not take offense at any unkindness because I am just “letting down my hair” and “being me.” Instead, I must apply the wise advice of my grandmother: treat your family with the same courtesy and consideration you would treat a stranger. Or, as the Bible puts it, “do unto others as ye would have them do unto you.”

So you say you love your spouse. Do your attitudes and actions reflect that love?

As one who often struggles with anger, I frequently have to run an attitude check on myself because I tend to use anger as a cover-up for other feelings such as guilt, hurt, and disappointment. I am also prone to anger when I am hungry or tired.

Here’s a prime example of a time when I often succumb to anger:

• My husband walks in the door at the end of the day and is greeted by the children’s mess in the living room, laundry piled on the guest bed, and no supper preparations begun.

At this point, I feel incredibly frustrated and guilty about the state of the house and the fact that I haven’t even begun to make supper. Instead of being honest and communicating to him that I am frustrated with myself, I turn that emotion into anger and impatience. I ask you (and myself), what kind of welcome is that for my poor husband? That’s not a welcome I would want to receive at the end of the long day!

An act of kindness toward my spouse would be to take a deep breath, swallow the angry and impatient words I long to utter, let my husband know that I am feeling guilty over the work that I have failed to accomplish, and determine not to take my frustrations out on him or the girls.

You see, attitude can make all the difference in a relationship. Sometimes, the best way to be kind to a spouse is to give them the gift of a good attitude. I know I will keep working on this area in my life, and I know my dear husband will certainly appreciate having a wife with a better attitude.

How do you refrain from succumbing to a bad attitude?

Hi! I’m Revka, and MIn the Gap asked me to join Weekend Kindness as an author. It is only polite that you should know a bit about the person who writes the articles you read.

When I meet new people, one of the first questions they normally ask is how to pronounce my name. It is said with a long e (Reev-kuh) and is Hebrew for Rebekah. More common Israeli spellings are Rivkah or Rifka. My parents liked the name but, apparently, didn’t know the “correct” spelling.

I am a born-again believer in Christ; in fact, after putting my faith in a profession rather than in the Person of Christ for 19 years, I finally came to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ on July 18, 2007. (You can read my full testimony over at my personal blog, The Porch Light.)

I am married to a wonderful man (I refer to him as Mr. Incredible in my blogs), and we will be celebrating our 8th anniversary in a couple of weeks. I love being married to this incredibly patient man, and I love our three daughters, also known as Pookie Bear, Miss Muffet, and Baby Bear.

I believe that there is always room for improvement in my life and am always striving to become more like Christ, which will also make me a better person. I am excited about sharing with you my ideas for building relationships and treating our families with kindness. As you will see in my first (non-introductory) post, I plan to be transparent in my posts, honestly detailing my own struggles and triumphs as is appropriate to the topic at hand, though not every post will be about me. I hope that you will find my posts relevant, encouraging, and useful, and I look forward to getting to know you readers better.

Thanks, MIn the Gap, for giving me this opportunity.