Weekend Kindness
Reaching Others Through Kindness

Married Life is a careful balance of give and take?it?s where two imperfect people vow to stay together no matter what, and part of that promise is understanding that we?re imperfect and that we?ll eventually do something that will drive our spouse nuts.

Whether it?s someone?s personal grooming habits (the hair left in the sink after shaving or trimming) or the way they use their toothpaste (up from the bottom, or squeeze at the middle), there will be differences and we have to work through them.

The question is, how do we handle these differences, I can think of three different ways people have handled the situation in the past:

1. Ignore it.

To some degree, most people are able to ignore something that irritates them if the event does not occur that often.  They may handle it with a degree of frustration, but it passes because it?s not that regular of an occurrence.  They may also feel that trying to fix the problem is more trouble than it?s worth.

When you?re first married, love covers over all these things, and you may even find them amusing!

2. Let it Bother You

The next degree would be to let that momentary inconvenience or annoyance turn into a frustration.  It?s here where people start trotting out the ?you always? when it?s not that frequent.  It?s at this point that you need to take action?

3. Discuss it

This is where we need to sit down and express our feelings?just why is it frustrating, and what can be done to ease that frustration.  Sometimes people are unaware of just what bothers someone else:

Jessica Odenbach, 27, of Chicago, who thinks her boyfriend’s upbringing in a large family explains why he’ll pop pimples, blow "snot rockets" and discuss bowel movements in front of her despite her obvious discomfort.

"Even if we’re out with friends, I’ll go to the bathroom to blow my nose," says Odenbach, a media specialist. "If he does that in front of us, I give him a dirty look and say, ‘Don’t you need to go to the bathroom?’ "

"We do occasionally have a tiff about these things. No brawls," she adds. "But he doesn’t necessarily know what will bother me."

Conclusion

You?re different, but the every one is.  So, it?s important to remember kindness and to think of other?s first when you?re in a relationship.  Only then will you build something that is stronger than both of you individually!

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