Weekend Kindness » Delayed Kindness

Delayed Kindness

Posted Wednesday, January 7th, 2009 and visited 1410 times, 1 so far today
by MInTheGap

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Part of the problem today with marriage is that it is being devalued by a umber of things, not the least of which is the idea that a couple can get together without being married and have all the “benefits” of marriage.

While purity is something that should be pursued by both people in a relationship, traditionally the woman has held control over a relationship, insisting on a commitment before providing the companionship.

Children

Let’s face it, women have children, and the best environment for children is with a committed father and mother in the family. Biology states that women have children, and when you’re in a non-committed relationship, you’re possibly denying your child their father.

Hard to Get

That is why it’s not just a tactic, it’s important for women to play hard to get. A guy shouldn’t get your emotional or physical love until he’s given you a commitment:

As single women, we need to stop treating men as if they are our husbands. We are created with a nature that longs to serve and please a man, but when we do this, we take away his desire for a wife. … [I]f women are giving men companionship outside of marriage, he will never hunger for female companionship inside of marriage. Women have the ability to create a void in a man’s life so he will become self-motivated to fill it with the presence of a wife.

– Emotional Purity: An Affair of the Heart

Too often I’ve seen women who long for marriage give companionship—kindness—to a man who they hope will propose only to realize that they are doing effect exactly the opposite. They are taking away his incentive to commit.

Saving For Tomorrow

It’s hard to wait—we’re programmed and told over and over that we can have what we want when we want it. The problem is that, whether it’s a car or a husband/wife, seldom is the thing that is right in front of you he best that you can do. When it comes to debt, yes you can “have it now”, but you’ll pay double. Same goes for a marriage or relationship—sure you can have a companion right now, but you may pay much more emotionally and physically if the relationship dissolves because you took Mr. Right Now over Mr. Right.

MInTheGap has been commenting on the culture at large and current events since 2004. He enjoys spending time with his family, writing, and being active in his local church.
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Claudia Says:
January 10th, 2009 at 7:42 am

I find that single women are often too afraid that a man will leave them if they don’t give in to sexual activity. It is very difficult to convince younger women especially that their bodies should be honored and respected by a man, not used as a tool to get a man’s love.

Something I heard on Focus on the Family years ago has stuck with me. When talking to singles about love and sex, Dr. Dobson said, “Men use (the promise of) love to get sex, women use sex to get love.”

It is heart breaking when we use love and sex only to get what we want, which is often the case in relationships before marriage.

Claudias last blog post..Company Girl Coffee – Taylor the Latte Boy

Darryl | Angela Martin Says:
January 11th, 2009 at 8:01 pm

For me, it goes back to the idea of freedom and choice, as pointed out by the previous comment. If the man or the woman does something because he or she truly and freely wants to, then that’s fine. But if it’s done because he or she feels compelled to, or because the treatment of that person will change if he or she doesn’t give in, then that’s a problem.

Darryl | Angela Martins last blog post..Angela Martin

Angels Weekly Says:
February 15th, 2009 at 7:32 pm

I am so happy to have found your blog!

One of our writers writes about Loving Kindness, and her articles are well received.

I will recommend she come here and have a read.

Thank you!

consumer mailing list Says:
February 25th, 2009 at 4:28 pm

Today the media shows that you can have the benefits of marriage with out the commitment of marriage – than the leads people to think why get married. Women are more than willing to give the “milk” to men, while cooking and cleaning for them, all to get the man to commit to marriage, where the man has no reason to get married because he is getting what he wants.
Also it is somewhat glorified to have children out of marriage. Single women who have children get a lot of glory and so forth for raising the baby all by her self – where stay at home moms are looked a little down upon because they don’t really do anything but babysit their kids all day.
I do not think there is anything more important than marriage and together the faster and mother raising the baby.

home typist Says:
October 3rd, 2009 at 7:07 pm Subscribed to Comments

Someone asked me why women don’t gamble as much as men do, and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don’t have as much money. That was a true and incomplete answer. In fact, women’s total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.

for home water purifier Says:
December 6th, 2009 at 7:47 am

Kindness should not be delayed. I believe that people must not hesitate in helping others…
for home water purifier´s last blog ..Whole House Water Purifier

Flawless Skin Says:
December 18th, 2009 at 3:47 pm

I completely agree with Claudia’s post. It’s hard enough to find a good guy these days, then when you realize that the majority of women around you are willing to give in completely, sexually and emotionally without any commitment from the guy, it’s hard not to try and compete with that for fear of losing the guy.

Generally, I agree with the message in the article. Just wish the rest of the world did, as well.
Flawless Skin´s last blog ..101 Best Quotes of All Time to Inspire and Move You

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