Weekend Kindness » You Are Her First Love

You Are Her First Love

Posted Wednesday, October 1st, 2008 and visited 140 times, 1 so far today
by MInTheGap

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It’s no secret that men and women are different, and that they do not always understand each other. At the same time, the love that is shown between the sexes is more powerful than that shown within the sex, and the same is true when it comes to the father daughter relationship.

In Meg Meeker’s book, Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters, our author about how a daughter’s first love is her father.

She details five different ways that you can show your love to your daughter (and I would argue that this could apply to your wife, as well as to your boys).

Words

Especially when it comes to your daughters, fathers need to learn to talk. They do not know what you’re thinking, and sometimes they are wondering. The best way for anyone to find out what another is thinking is through talking. We especially need to make sure that our children (and I would argue our spouse!) hear we say that we love them regularly,

Fences

We need to make sure that we build appropriate fences around our children. We know what is safe for them and what is not. Having a fence in place means, to the child, that someone cares. Modern parenting would say that you should let the child be free to do whatever they desire, but it is detrimental and shows actually the opposite of what we want to say. It tells them that we’re ambivalent to what they do.

We talked about how difficult it is for parents to be realistic about their own children. Because we want them to make good decisions, we assume they will. We want to believe our kids are stronger, more mature, and better capable of handling situations than other kids. And that’s when mistakes happen.

Silence

Just like you need to make sure that you talk with your daughter, you also have to make sure that you pay attention to what they have to say. This is important for your relationship with everyone in your house. If they have something to say, turn off that television, turn to look at them, don’t day dream, and listen. Even if it seems silly, or is just a young child telling you about his/her day– pay attention!

Time

We need to make sure to spend time with our children. Dr. Meeker suggests having one-on-one time with your daughter as a time of bonding. It doesn’t have to be a stressful time, just a time when you and her do something together. A time of bonding and doing fun things together. We need to make sure our kids get the attention they need.

Will

Love is, at the root, a choice, a decision we make.

If human love does not carry a man beyond himself, it is not love. If love is always discreet, always wise, always sensible and calculating, never carried beyond itself, it is not love at all. It may be affection, it may be warmth of feeling, but it has not the true nature of love in it. - Oswald Chambers

Love faces down the tough times, and persists anyway. Love sees the hard circumstances, and reacts with compassion. Love perseveres in the face of trial.

Making a Difference

These five different ways of impacting your daughter will help her to be more well rounded and protect her from many of the things that are going on in her peer group. They will give her guidelines and show your love for her.

It’s a lot of work, but who ever said parenting was easy?

MInTheGap has been commenting on the culture at large and current events since 2004. He enjoys spending time with his family, writing, and being active in his local church.
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