 | Husbands, WivesThe Devaluing of WomenPosted Thursday, September 11th, 2008 and visited 176 times, 1 so far today by MInTheGap |
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Monogamy lasts in the Bible all of four chapters. From the creation of Adam and Eve until this statement about Lamech in Genesis 4:19:
And Lamech took unto him two wives: the name of the one [was] Adah, and the name of the other Zillah.
We are lead to believe that there were only marriages between one man and one woman.
What was the compelling reason to have two wives? Insurance against sin:
And Lamech said unto his wives, Adah and Zillah, Hear my voice; ye wives of Lamech, hearken unto my speech: for I have slain a man to my wounding, and a young man to my hurt. If Cain shall be avenged sevenfold, truly Lamech seventy and sevenfold. – Genesis 4:23-24
Lamech was proud. He thought he was big stuff. He believed that he was the best thing going. And the weird thing here is that Adam and Eve were still having children at this point! Just one verse later they have Seth.
Women as a Commodity
I attribute a lot of what happened to a woman’s place in the home to Lamech’s action here in Genesis 4. He was the first to take two wives (which remember, at the time, would probably have been his cousins) and he also showed his contempt for God’s ways by killing another person (also probably his cousin) and he didn’t think it was that big of a deal.
This sets up what we see in the rest of the Old Testament—the pattern of women being looked at something to have, to bear children, as status, rather than as a companion, a help meet, or someone to build a life with.
Sarah and Rebekah
The notable exception is Sarah. Sarah is the first wife that we really read anything about her as a person. It is said of her that she made bad choices1, that she laughed at the idea of Isaac, and that she’s someone that women should model2.
Rebekah is also an interesting lady, where Isaac sends for someone that forsakes her family to join Isaac. But both Isaac and his father both, when in the presence of the Egyptians, fail to trust God and claim that they’re related to their wives in order to protect them—still showing a bit of the “ownership of women” that we saw in Lamech.
Women as Something to Work For
Jacob, though he had many wives, showed us that women are something that we should work for3 while emphasizing the point that women are commodities.
And yet he worked for them out of his love for Rachel.
But this is Getting Slightly Off Topic
Yes, it is. But what I’m trying to show is how it changed from the perfect relationship to the imperfect ones. Next time we’ll start looking at some relationships in the Bible and see what we can learn about the way a man can be a servant leader.
- The choice of Hagar to complete the promise, rather than waiting on God.
- I Peter 3:6
- Spending 14 years to marry his two wives
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Table of contents for Servant Leadership
- The Myth of the “Real Man”
- Starting At the Beginning
- The Devaluing of Women
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September 11th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
Hubs and I got a great word of advice from a counselor last week. She mentioned that a lot of people use the verse in Genesis where God said “Your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you” to say, “See here, God commanded men to rule over women.” In her opinion, the perfect union that happened before the fall was of a perfect partnership. There was a deep intimacy and so there was no need for one partner to rule over the other. When the fall happened, there became a division between the husband and wife. The result was that she desired him - desired that emotional intimacy she’d lost. And he ruled over her - she no longer was able to meet his needs like she had and so he turned to dominating her to try to fix the problem.
September 11th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
I’m echoing what AG said - the verse she quoted was the situation post-Fall; the ideal marriage was pre-Fall in the Garden. I’m not downplaying submission AT ALL because I believe in submission and practice it as much as I possibly can (with God’s help) in my own home. But the concept of submission wasn’t brought about by that verse; it was brought about when God told Adam he needed a “helper.” It was perfect submission: she yielded to him and he loved her above himself, exactly as Paul instructs us in Ephesians (I think it’s in Ephesians, sorry if I’m wrong on that one). My husband recently did a debate for one of his classes on the role of women in ministry, and one of his points on this particular passage was that Adam was responsible for delivering the Word of God to Eve (we’re not told in Scripture where God directly speaks to Eve). Also God gave the command about the tree before He created Eve. I’m getting off on a tangent; I could go all day on this passage. Anyway, I’m looking forward to these future posts and examining the other marriages. It should be fun!
September 12th, 2008 at 4:58 pm
@AG: I’ve always thought that the passage was saying that, because of sin, there would be change in the family structure where the husband would have to lead, and not just have a perfect relationship. That since now someone had to be the boss, the perfect partnership was no longer possible.
@Rachel: I’ve been actually mulling through the whole “It is not good for man to be alone.” I think there’s a post coming (who knows what blog!) on that topic. Thanks for reminding me.