 | Daughter, fatherShe Needs a HeroPosted Tuesday, September 9th, 2008 and visited 180 times, 1 so far today by MInTheGap |
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No, not that kind of hero.
Your daughter wants a hero, and she’s chosen you, Dad. Scary, eh?
The twenty-first century hero looks a lot different than those of previous centuries, but has many of the same characteristics.
Meg Meeker, in her book Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters, lets you know that being your daughter’s hero may mean doing things that she won’t like:
You might need to show up at a party where your daughter’s friend—and maybe your daughter—have been drinking, and take her home. You might need to talk to her about the clothes she wears and the music she likes. And yes, you might even need to get in the the car at one in the morning, go to her boyfriend’s house, and insist that she come home.
Our daughters need leadership. They need protection, and they need someone that has authority. She needs guideposts for what’s right and wrong, and she looks to you to provide them. She will look to her dad to judge a future mate. She will look to him to see what to aspire to.
Dads, you need to not only have rules, but enforce them. You must be diligent and persistent.
That’s something I’ve been learning through the short time that I’ve had kids. That it’s not enough to just say “no.” If you say it, you must follow through with the consequence.
Meeker gives 4 pointers all dads should have:
- Make a plan. Know what your expectations for your daughter are and stick to them.
- Have courage under fire. Everyone from you child to your wife, to your friends and the television will try to make you bend: Don’t.
- Be the leader. You have more life experience. She may be smarter, you’re the adult and you have far more life experience than her.
- Don’t cave, preserver. Stick with it even when it’s difficult. Difficult for you, difficult for your family. You’re more resilient than your daughter is.
She needs a hero. Like Larry Boy we should answer, “I. Am. That. Hero!”
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September 11th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
One of the things that helped me with making sure I dressed modestly growing up was my father. My mom would tell me I shouldn’t wear something (for whatever reason it was) and I would just roll my eyes at her. Then my dad would step in and tell me exactly what that outfit would make teenage boys think. NOT something you want to hear from your father. Needless to say I ran and changed real quick, and I know the fact that my dad was bold enough to say something despite the embarrassment factor kept me from a lot of bad situations with my dress.
September 12th, 2008 at 9:39 pm
@Rachel: I come from the opinion that this is one of the responsibilities of the husband/father in the home. He’s the guy– he should make sure his “girls” look respectable and modest. It’s his failure if his “girls” look… umm… immodest.