Comments on: Fixing a Breaking Marriage

By: MInTheGap

MInTheGap — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 17:40:29 +0000

@AG: The length of time would be a good indicator that something’s up. I find, however, that people who have dated this long are stuck– thinking that they could never find anyone else. Though she needs to find someone else.

By: AG

AG — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 17:30:18 +0000

Oh, I totally agree she can do better. I've been telling her that for over four years. She knows it, too. Pretty much everyone on earth except this guy realizes he's never going to find another girl who will be so good to him. AG's last blog post..The Front Fell Off

By: MInTheGap

MInTheGap — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 14:52:39 +0000

@AG: It’s amazing the feeling of relief that confession brings. All the time that you’re subject to wondering if someone will find out– they go away when you tell what’s going on.

As far as the couple, I would believe that the appropriate thing would be for this young lady to find a different fella– although it will be hard. Seven years is a long time to be dating and it not heading anywhere. And the fact that the man is unwilling to even sit down and receive some counseling tells me that she can do better– for this guy will probably be one of the dictators instead of a servant-leader.

From this little bit you shared, I believe she can do better.

By: AG

AG — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 14:10:11 +0000

I think you’re definately on to something, MIn. There have been some major struggles with temptation I’ve faced and they bound me and held me captive until I confessed them to my husband or a trusted girlfriend. The amazing thing is, when that struggle was confessed, the temptation lost its power. I’ve also set accountability in place, just in case, but have not needed it so far.

As far as humility and asking for help, I have a friend who’s been seeing her boyfriend, a godly man, for nearly seven years. They won’t get married because he refuses to attend pre-marital counseling and she won’t get married without it. So they’re in a deadlock until one of them compromises their feelings about counseling or decides they’re tired of waiting for a change and breaks it off. Kinda sad situation.

AG’s last blog post..The Front Fell Off

By: MInTheGap

MInTheGap — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 13:30:49 +0000

@AG: It used to be said that it was only guys that didn’t want help. If that was true, it’s now spread.

People look at getting help as failing. Failing at finding where your destination is, failing at knowing the right answer, or a failure at marriage.

The truth is that helping makes us better. We cannot all know everything, and there are some problems that we cannot solve. We need humility in order to get help, and Americans are in short supply of that.

Christians are worse, however. We’re encouraged to share each other’s burdens, but the only ones we share are those that we feel everyone has, or ones that won’t embarrass us. We don’t trust each other in body of Christ enough to truly show love. It’s sad, but I believe it’s a big reason we do not see much of the power of Christ today.

By: AG

AG — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 16:07:08 +0000

You're right, Counselor. A lot of people think you've got to swallow your pride in order to seek outside help with your marriage. This just isn't the case. AG's last blog post..Prayer for Kaleo

By: marriage counselor

marriage counselor — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 12:07:35 +0000

Truly said expert councelors have vast experience in ways to save a marriage and can give an unbiased assessment of both sides of the table,but many couples never attempt to seek ways to repair a marriage in trouble and will spend their time fighting each other instead.