 | ChildrenIced Tea and CookiesPosted Wednesday, February 20th, 2008 and visited 1020 times, 3 so far today by Lynnae |
In a fast moving society like today, it can be easy to go through the motions of life without thinking much. Wake up. Get the kids off to school. Pick the kids up. Go to soccer practice. Eat a quick dinner. Head off to a church activity. Go home and get to bed, so you can do it all over the next day.
As parents we need to make sure we stop frequently to really connect with our kids. It’s not enough to make sure they’re in the right schools, on the right athletic teams, and going to the right church activities. Kids crave interaction and attention from their parents, even if they don’t act like it.
When I was about 12, my mom mastered the art of connecting with her children. Every day when I arrived home from school, she’d have a glass of iced tea and a plate of cookies waiting for me. I’d walk in the door, drop my backpack, and head straight for the kitchen table. My mom would sit down with me and ask me about my day as I refueled for the afternoon.
Looking back, we didn’t spend hours talking. We spent maybe 10-15 minutes chatting over iced tea and cookies. But it was 10-15 minutes every single day that I had my mom’s undivided attention. And during those early middle school years, I learned that I could talk to my mom. That set the stage for the tumultuous high school years. When I was having problems, I knew I could talk to my mom, often over iced tea and cookies.
Parents, I urge you to set up some sort of routine to make sure you spend time with each of your children every day. Make sure they get some undivided attention from you while they’re young. It will help them feel secure. It will make them feel special and loved. And it will help open the lines of communication while they’re young, so talking to you is a habit when they’re older.
Photo by M Shades.
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February 20th, 2008 at 10:52 am Subscribed to Comments
You’re so right. I remember I always knew I could talk to my parents, so I very rarely got into large-scale trouble.
AG’s last blog post..God is so good!
February 20th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
Coming up with a routine is a great idea, Lynnae– or Lynnae’s mom. I had heard in a parenting class at our church that you have to spend time talking with your kids about their day if you want to learn more about them. This definitely has to be more than just yes/no questions, but really learning about them.
February 20th, 2008 at 3:13 pm
That’s exactly it. You need to build a routine to make sure you’re really talking to your kids. Otherwise it’s too easy to just get busy and put it off. Especially if you have an introverted child, like I do.
Lynnae’s last blog post..Children Really Do Imitate Their Parents
February 20th, 2008 at 6:06 pm
My older sister says her lunches with our mom saved her in high school. We didn’t live far from the school, and she’d walk home during lunch and have salad, just her and mom. By the time I came along, my parents decided public school was the wrong environment for our family…as a result, I got all sorts of this kind of time with my mom.I’d like to do better at having one on one time with each of my girls daily. It’s hard to come by!
Mary’s last blog post..Those Little Things
February 21st, 2008 at 8:48 am
Perhaps it’s harder to spend one-on-one time with someone when you’re with them all day? I know that when I have only a few hours and they’re all awake it’s hard to find time with just one, whereas if they had individual activities or something that already set them apart it would be easier. There have been a few times where someone in the family has been sick and I’ve taken the non-sick one to church and it always lends itself to good conversation!
February 21st, 2008 at 9:47 am
It’s definitely hard to find one on one time when you have more than one child. My husband and I have two kids, so we’ll often divide and conquer. He takes one, and I take the other. Then we switch. :)
Lynnae’s last blog post..I’m posting over at Weekend Kindness today!
February 21st, 2008 at 12:41 pm
I’ve heard 3 or more kids referred to as zone defense. I’m just not sure how this applies when it comes to one-on-one time.
We’ve tried this with working with our two older boys and teaching them to read. But it’s either one of us has the one child and the other two or something along those lines, because there doesn’t seem to be a way to work with both at once.
February 25th, 2008 at 2:01 pm Subscribed to Comments
I just have to say, I get hungry every time I look at that picture.
AG’s last blog post..God is so good!