 | Relationship BuilderLove Means Doing The Thing You Don’t Want to DoPosted Tuesday, February 12th, 2008 and visited 293 times, 1 so far today by MInTheGap |
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There’s a verse in Scripture that says faithful are the wounds of a friend. A true friend is someone that not only does the easy things, but the hard things. A true friend is there with you through trials, and tells you what you need to hear. Those that show you the most love are those that do something– not because they’ll enjoy it, but because they know that it will make you happy.
Take, for instance, blogging. My wife tolerates my blogging, she reads a few of the blogs that I’ve found, and she’s not as into computers as me. And yet, she wrote a post and a comment on my blog– not because she wanted to or because she enjoys writing, but because she loves me.
That’s a small one, I know, but think about how much your spouse does for you every day. If it helps, make a list of the common and uncommon things– but focus more of your time on what he/she does for you without being asked every day that she could be, instead, doing something that they enjoyed.
Don’t take your relationship for granted, and thank them for even the ordinary things!
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February 15th, 2008 at 2:42 pm
And do it without grumbling and complaining! Sadly, I have to remind myself of that sometimes.
Claudia’s last blog post..The Ultimate Definition of Love
February 26th, 2008 at 10:39 am Subscribed to Comments
I like that you brought up the difference in types of ways you can show love. Gary Chapman’s book “The Five Love Languages” helped me see my relationship with my mom and husband in a different light. My two primary love languages are Words of Affirmation and Gifts, but both of their primary language is Acts of Service, which I suck at.
I have to very deliberately serve both of them or I won’t do it and they’ll feel unloved.
AG’s last blog post..The Mercy Seat
February 27th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
Having not read the book, I’m at a slight disadvantage. However, service is definitely linked to love. You can’t have one without the other. Hence the need for kindness in our relationships.
February 27th, 2008 at 3:29 pm Subscribed to Comments
So true. God’s really working on me. I’m reading “Jesus on Leadership” by C. Gene Wilkes. I’m only a chapter into it and I’m already convicted by how lousy I am at serving.
Just so you know, Min, the five languages are:
Words of Affirmation
Physical Touch
Giving Gifts
Quality Time
Acts of Service
But I still recommend reading the book.
AG’s last blog post..The Truth About Porn
February 27th, 2008 at 3:51 pm
That truly is the secret to being a Christian leader– being a servant.
Thanks for the “Cliff’s Notes” on the 5 love languages. They’re like the stuff that was in the book Mom’s Needs - Dad’s Needs that I was reading.
February 27th, 2008 at 4:04 pm Subscribed to Comments
I haven’t even heard of that book. Someday when I’m a mom I’ll have to get the title and author from you.
AG’s last blog post..The Truth About Porn
February 27th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
We were reading it together– but it has more psychology in it than Biblical stuff. It was a gift. In any case, I’ll have to get back to it once I get done with the other books I’m reading.
Never a dull moment.
February 27th, 2008 at 4:36 pm Subscribed to Comments
I hear ya. I was reading about six books at once. I’m down to four now. That plus two jobs, church leadership, and spending time with my husband and other believers… someday I’ll get to sleep.
AG’s last blog post..The Truth About Porn
February 28th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
I have this problem where I have limited time and tend to do more writing than reading. So I have the books started that are on my blog, but haven’t gotten around to finishing them. I also have this problem where I get into a mode that everything I read becomes “boy, that would make a good blog post.” Then I know it’s time to take a break!
February 28th, 2008 at 2:49 pm Subscribed to Comments
That so remindes me of Mandi. I really enjoy reading sci-fi or fantasy fiction. And most of the time when I get started reading, I’ll be reading for hours, so hubby gets jealous of those books and I have to put them down and spend time with him.
I don’t mean to spend more time with my books than my husband, but it’s one of those things where I lose track of time.
AG’s last blog post..Growing Pains
February 28th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
That happens with me and the computer. I can spend a lot of time on the computer because I enjoy it. Before I was married that’s what I did every night, and that’s also where I found my wife (not on a dating site, but on IM and then in person a week after). So, it was an adjustment when we first got married that I didn’t head to the computer once I walked in the house at night. (Man was I bad!)
February 28th, 2008 at 3:54 pm Subscribed to Comments
Our marriage counselor loves to remind us (and we need it) that part of God’s purpose in marriage is to teach each of us not to be selfish and, instead, to be more like Him.
So giving up things we love for the benefit of our spouse is very Christlike.
AG’s last blog post..Growing Pains
February 28th, 2008 at 11:29 pm
Which is something the husband really needs to be doing, since he should be loving his wife the way Christ loved the church. Whew– tough words considering that Christ died for the church when He did nothing wrong!
February 28th, 2008 at 11:33 pm Subscribed to Comments
True, but wives are also supposed to love and obey their husband as they love and obey Christ, which means being willing to lay their lives down (martyr-style if need be) for the benefit of their husbands.
AG’s last blog post..Growing Pains
February 29th, 2008 at 9:30 am
Now that’s one that I’ve never heard– we always hear how hard it is for ladies to submit to their husbands, but you can’t be serious that they should actually love and OBEY– GASP!
February 29th, 2008 at 10:30 am Subscribed to Comments
Well, only in special circumstances… er… something.
AG’s last blog post..Growing Pains
February 29th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
She’s backing away from that one, folks.
February 29th, 2008 at 12:46 pm Subscribed to Comments
*makes a graceful exit*
AG’s last blog post..Growing Pains