Comments on: A Quiet Moment

By: MInTheGap

MInTheGap — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 04:31:24 +0000

You can’t live separate lives under the same roof for long. That’s yet another reason that I think that cohabiting is just asking for breakups. In any case, you need to have friends, but it’s better if you and your spouse are out doing things together with people that just you as a single.

However, having young children and doing this can be quite the challenge. It’s almost like you need more planning…

By: AG

AG — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 20:48:05 +0000

Good point. My parents almost divorced before they met Jesus because they were out with all their own friends each night instead of spending time together. It's hard to trust someone when you have no together time. AG's last blog post..Growing Pains

By: MInTheGap

MInTheGap — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 20:10:55 +0000

I think that part of the problem is that people actually come into relationships (marriages in particular) expecting that they can either change their partner or that their partner wants to change. And yet there are some things that make a person what they are. They have certain likes and dislikes as a rule, and they may not want to change.

Now, it’s a necessity, on some level, to find things that you can do together. The Mom’s Needs Dad’s Needs book actually talked about finding activities that both like to do together instead of each doing things with other people.

I think that it’s good to have things that are your interest, but it’s more important to fuel those common interests.

By: AG

AG — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 19:52:41 +0000

So true. It's hard for hubby to open up to me about what things annoy him 'cause he feels like I don't change. I really want to sit down with him and intellectually figure out ways to bring about that change. I'm very visual, so I can fathom making those changes better if I can see them on paper. AG's last blog post..Growing Pains

By: MInTheGap

MInTheGap — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 18:57:04 +0000

That, and the flip side. There are often things in our lives that our spouse doesn’t like and that they may simply endure, and if that doesn’t come out into the open it’s hard to figure out a way to either stop doing that annoying thing, or to find a way for your spouse to enjoy it as well.

By: AG

AG — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 21:38:14 +0000

Thanks. It’s wisdom I’ve gleaned from experience, though. Sometimes, I wish I had more wisdom from other peoples’ experiences so I could avoid some of these situations myself.
I think it’s vital for every couple to sit down with a pen and paper and hash out what things bless each other and brainstorm on ways to be blessings.

AG’s last blog post..The Truth About Porn

By: MInTheGap

MInTheGap — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 21:25:41 +0000

Now those are some wise words there, AG. I think that we don’t really know our spouses the way that we should, nor do we really understand their value system compared to our own. Great thoughts there.

By: AG

AG — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 21:05:59 +0000

Yes, but just becuase they're our neighbor and we love to love on them doesn't mean we love on them well. I really need to work on blessing my husband because the things I consider blessings he doesn't. AG's last blog post..The Truth About Porn

By: MInTheGap

MInTheGap — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 20:51:51 +0000

True– Prilio (the book that I’ve been reviewing for some time) says that our spouse is our closest neighbor, so we’re always about doing something for someone else.

By: AG

AG — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 20:27:35 +0000

I’ll try to find his number. ::shuffles through papers to try to find doctor’s number:: Sorry. No go.

I’d say even when we’re alone with our spouse, we should still be others-focused. That time alone should be about blessing and encouraging them.

AG’s last blog post..The Truth About Porn