Husbands

18 Signs that Your Husband Is Bitter

Posted Thursday, January 31st, 2008 and visited 668 times, 9 so far today
by MInTheGap

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737353: The Complete Husband
The Complete Husband
By Lou Priolo

Men and women tend to let themselves become bitter by feeding on negative stimulus and dwelling on it.  It is this bitterness that can tear at a marriage until it is destroyed.  Priolo lists 18 signs to look for to see if your husband is bitter:

  1. Frequent arguments (inability to resolve conflicts)
  2. Outbursts of anger (raising of the voice, throwing, hitting, etc.)
  3. Withdrawal (giving her the silent treatment or the cold shoulder)
  4. Diminished affection and sexual activity.
  5. Sarcasm (mocking, ridiculing, mean-spirited joking, etc.)
  6. Acts of vengeance (getting even or trying to hurt her back)
  7. Condescending communication (speaking to her as though she were a child or an inferior person)
  8. Criticism (a critical, condemnatory, judgmental attitude)
  9. Suspicion and distrust
  10. Hypersensitivity
  11. Intolerance (not overlooking little offenses that once went unnoticed)
  12. Impatience
  13. Misuse of authority (domineering, dictatorial, or tyrannical attitudes which require needless exactions of obedience)
  14. Lack of social interaction as a couple
  15. Loss of companionship (the intimacy of the one flesh relationship is damaged and communication becomes superficial)
  16. Lack of respect (dishonoring her to her face and in the presence of others)
  17. Lack of kindness and sympathy
  18. Angry children (who have been greatly provoked by their parents)

In order to overcome this bitterness, we must practice true forgiveness.  Forgiveness is making three promises:

  1. I promise not to bring up the offense to the person being forgiven.
  2. I promise not to speak about the offense to others.
  3. I promise not to dwell on the offense myself.

Only then can you start on the path toward healing.


MInTheGap has been commenting on the culture at large and current events since 2004. He enjoys spending time with his family, writing, and being active in his local church.
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Table of contents for The Complete Husband

  1. Introduction
  2. I Wish She Came With an Owners Manual
  3. A Woman’s Roles
  4. 11 Questions to Ask Your Wife
  5. So, What’s There to Talk About?
  6. A Crash Course in Biblical Communication - Part 1
  7. 11 Un-Biblical Forms of Communication
  8. Maintaining a Spirit of Unity
  9. Love is a Verb
  10. The Root Cause of All Marriage Problems
  11. 18 Signs that Your Husband Is Bitter
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3 Responses to “18 Signs that Your Husband Is Bitter”

  1. MyAvatars 0.2 AG Says:
    February 26th, 2008 at 11:13 am Subscribed to Comments

    Is there a way a woman can tell what caused her husband’s bitterness so she can change the offending behavior?

    AG’s last blog post..The Mercy Seat

  2. MyAvatars 0.2 MInTheGap Says:
    February 27th, 2008 at 2:28 pm

    Well, I would suggest a three pronged approach:

    1. Pray for him.
    2. Attempt to do no further harm.
    3. Find a way to open communication with him and start unpacking things. The longer you listen the better chance I believe you’ll have to getting to the root of the problem. The trick here, I think, is to try not to be defensive. It’s hard, but once you start to defend your actions the process of unpacking will stop and he’ll have another reason…

    Because men don’t tend to be as verbal as women are about what’s bothering them, there may be lots of things that he is having trouble with before you can pick up on his bitterness.

  3. MyAvatars 0.2 AG Says:
    February 27th, 2008 at 2:57 pm Subscribed to Comments

    Those are all good, but hubby and I have been in a similar situation and I can be as sweet as I want to be, but if I don’t understand what’s causing the bitterness, the cause of that bitterness doesn’t go away.  It wasn’t until I got adamant about wanting him to talk to me that the issue came out and we’re working through it.
    So, if you have a husband who isn’t willing to talk, what do you do?

    AG’s last blog post..The Truth About Porn

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