 | ParentsThe Green Eyed MonsterPosted Monday, January 14th, 2008 and visited 248 times, 1 so far today by MInTheGap |
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So, Saturday I sat down with my two oldest and watched 3-2-1 Penguins on Qubo (NBC). This week’s adventure had them talking about envy– the green eyed monster, and I got to thinking. Next to selfishness, I believe that this is one of the biggest things that we have to deal with as parents when it comes to our children. He’s got it, and I want it.
Teaching contentment is difficult in our society. We have to have our burgers our way, buy things right now, and just do it. We’re constantly pressured to make a decision because supplies are limited, and if we don’t act fast the deal will be gone.
How do we, as parents, help our child to see past what the other person has, and to see the blessings that abound all around them?
Practice Thankfulness
The first step is to practice thankfulness. If we are thankful for what we have then we should be less inclined to be jealous over what the other person has. Why? Because a thankful spirit is a happy spirit. If we keep our eyes on what is ours, then we’re not occupied on thinking about what is theirs.
You see, we as parents often look at things and make comments about how we’d like to have this, or we’re not satisfied with that. What we don’t realize is that our complaining about our current state– our lack of thankfulness– rubs off on our kids not being thankful either.
Practice Contentment
This one is especially difficult because it requires us not to be constantly wanting “something better.” This is totally contrary to the world’s message. The world wants you to believe that not only can you have it all, but you can have it all right now. You see something someone else has? It can be yours too for just 3 easy payments of $19.95 plus shipping and handling.
Our kids see that we are not satisfied with what we have and they know also that they can get something better. So they want that. They want what Billy has, because they are not content with what they have. And they won’t be, because Dad and Mom always have to have everything too.
Practice Saying No
The more your kids think that they can get anything from us, then they are going to want more. They will look for other things to get. They will not be satisfied with what they have, for they will want everything that they see.
If we don’t say no, then we’re setting them up for disappointment, for there will be times where they will not be able to get what they want. There will be times where things will be tight, or you’ll be saving for something better.
What ways have you found to beat the Green Eyed Monster?
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January 14th, 2008 at 3:18 pm Subscribed to Comments
I am so darned guilty of this!!! On my lunch break, not an hour ago, I drove past Taco Bell. I’d had a hankering for nachos, so I decided on the way back from the post office, I’d eat at Taco Bell. Then, I drove past Good Times. Holy cow, now I wanted Good Times! It always trumps Taco Bell.
On the way back from the post office, I couldn’t find Good Times and was disappointed that I had to order from Taco Bell. I get back to the office where I read this post and have to take a double-take.
I have a secure job in a warm office with great coworkers and a computer. I have a car that runs and is safe and I have a long enough lunch hour to run errands. I have a choice of what to eat for lunch, the means to pay for it, and the freedom to whine about it.
Suddenly my Taco Bell tastes great!
January 14th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
Poverty is the BEST teacher of this lesson…and if parents with plenty are smart, they will practice “saying no” just as you pointed out, MIn. Contentment is one of my favorite subjects to contemplate. What makes some people more content than others? It’s an interesting topic. I’ve really been noticing it in my kids lately. Last night I stopped at a convenience store for gas on the way home from Awanas. My oldest had finished her 3rd Truth and Training book in 1.5 years, a big accomplishment, even for someone who loves to memorize. She’d asked if we could celebrate by getting drinks at the convenience store, something we never ever do…well, except for once last year when we got ice cream bars there for a similar celebration. Well, I didn’t promise her anything, but when I went in to pay for the gas, I grabbed 4 squeeze bottles of drinks, two of tropical fruit punch and two of raspberry blues and also a pack of Skittles gum. I passed everything out to the kids when I got back to the car. The 7 yo that we take each week to Awanas made sure she had the first choice out of the drinks, then my 10 year old made her request, then my 3 yo. My 7 year old sat back and waited, and happily took what was left. She kind of raised her brows in relief when 3 yo picked the one she did, glad to get “raspberry” instead of “tropical punch”… My 3 kiddos thanked me and thanked me, and just had a rollicking happy time of it. No thanks from the girl we took, which didn’t bother me, I didn’t even realize it till later. And when we got home, my 7 yo told me, “Mom, you didn’t have to get me a drink, I already had my squeeze bottle of water from home.” That just struck me as amazing. Especially because my kids are no different from any others. They prefer juice over water, etc. And my 7 yo is usually my biggest challenge in terms of teaching her anything, and making her focus for any length of time. It was just a blessing to have her evidence contentment in this way. Being willing to go last and take whatever she got.I wish I was more that way!
February 26th, 2008 at 12:49 pm Subscribed to Comments
Mary, that’s awesome. So many kids are discontent. I highly recommend sponsoring a child from another country and having your kids write them letters and read their letters - this develops a higher apprecaition for the underserved.
AG’s last blog post..The Mercy Seat
February 27th, 2008 at 10:43 am
We hope to do this kind of thing with some missionaries we are supporting, AG. They actually have kids our children’s age, though they will be missionaries to England so that isn’t exactly a place with as many needs as some other countries.
February 27th, 2008 at 11:57 am Subscribed to Comments
The only needs to make your children aware of aren’t material. There are still emotional, spiritual, relational, and psychological needs your kids have fulfilled that others don’t.
AG’s last blog post..The Truth About Porn
February 27th, 2008 at 1:38 pm
That is very true, AG. It’s hard to remember that there are people in other societies that don’t have the family around that we do, that do not have the opportunity for the relationships that we do, and they certainly don’t have the activities that our kids have available to them.
But with that latest one, is it necessarily a good thing? Perhaps we’re over-programmed?
February 27th, 2008 at 2:14 pm Subscribed to Comments
Even if the activities themselves are a distraction, the opportunity and freedom to participate is a blessing.
But we can involve our children in positive activities, such as volunteering at a soup kitchen with them.
AG’s last blog post..The Truth About Porn