 | KindnessWhat Do You Do With a Gift That You Don’t Want?Posted Tuesday, November 27th, 2007 and visited 513 times, 1 so far today by MInTheGap |
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Here’s a tough question. I don’t know about you, but it seems that Christmas has become (especially now that I’m older) all about telling people what they can get me so that they get me something I want rather than what I remember it as a child– a time of surprises.
Now, granted, I’m not sure that many children actually look forward to getting something that they don’t want. One of my worst memories of Christmas centers around this very thing.
I was at my grandparent’s house for the usual Saturday Christmas time get together and I don’t know where everyone else was, but it was just my family and I still there and I opened a gift that was a backpack– something that I really wanted– but I thought it was clothing so I said “Not more clothes!” Needless to say, this embarrassed my parents and they took me aside to tell me how wrong my reaction was.
But all this to say ask, have we strayed so far away from what Christmas is that we now judge gifts by how they compare to what we really want? Is it wrong to do returns to get what we really want? And how does that show kindness to the one doing the giving?
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November 27th, 2007 at 11:56 pm Subscribed to Comments
That is a tough question. I suggested to my extended family that this be the last year of getting for *everybody*. I think we should have the young cousins draw names and keep our adult giving to family type gifts, and not feel obligated even to do that if it’s a problem.
I observed last year that the more presents the little ones got the faster they ripped through them and the less grateful or excited they seemed. My practical and somewhat sarcastic side reasons, why put them through all that? Let them each have one gift and end on a roll, right?
I have received gifts that I didn’t know what to do with. Again the practical side of me wants to groan, wishing I could take it back and spend the money on something I’d actually use, etc. But I’m not going to ask for the receipt! Usually it just travels up to the attic and lives there until I think of a better place to go with it. Sad truth!
I love giving and receiving. Usually with me, anything works, it’s the thought that counts. I’m not allowed to make a wish list (my dh likens it to “hinting” and he can’t stand that! He, himself, has a hard time spending money on himself or asking for anything…so he can’t fathom it in anyone else, strange, huh?) so money is usually my favorite gift! My older sister, on the other hand, is encouraged by her dh to make a wish list with several expensive choices and inexpensive ones and he usually gets her 80% of what’s on the list! Now that would appeal to the child in me! Hee.
What a ramble. Anyway. I say, if the giver will never know that you took it back, then take it back. If it will in some way offend them or hurt their feelings if you aren’t displaying it or wearing it, or whatever…then small price to pay, right? Use that thing, brandish it on your rooftops and figure out how to make the best of it.
And don’t forget thank-you cards! Yes, even at Christmas! I adore getting them and knowing that someone loved the gift I may have spent almost an hour debating over in the Christmas-crazed stores! The least I can do is express my own gratefulness that someone wanted to share from their abundance (or lack of it) a gift especially for me.
November 28th, 2007 at 11:29 am
Unfortunately, this one gift actually wants a monthly subscription fee in order to get its full benefit– and that’s one of the things I’m struggling over. There may be an option to just pay when you want updates, but if there’s not, I may never see the full benefits.
December 15th, 2007 at 3:23 pm Subscribed to Comments
Thanks for participating in this week’s Carnival of Family Life, hosted at Adventures in Juggling. Stop by and read the other wonderful entries!
December 17th, 2007 at 1:01 pm Subscribed to Comments
I know exactly how everyone feels. I strongly dislike knowing my gifts before i get them, nor do i like others to know what i got them. The problem is that people have found cooler and cooler things and defined their lives by them,so if we stray away from these it makes for unhappy lives. For instance, as girls age they find brands they like, styles that suit them and colors of outfits they feel cute in. Boys find toys that are cool for the moment, games that they will play for 5 minutes. And if we don’t pay attention to what these exact colors, outfits, or games are we aren’t getting them what they want. Kids have become spoiled….how do i know?….i was one of those kids..that had huge christmas’ every year…getting huge GI Joe machines and figures, nintendo games, the beauty of my christmas’ were, that i was a kid that didn’t care about style of clothing, what toys were cool…i just said “mom, i want gi’joe’s and she got a whole bunch of things..and i was greatful….now, i get patay knifes, hideous sweaters, and $6 cologne, and my little brother gets the hottest abercrombie shirts, new nike’s, snowbaords, paintball guns,..its not that i am ungreatful for $6 cologne, and patay knifes, i would rather my mother not buy me anything instead of wasting it on things i don’t need, she refuses to buy “best buy” gift cards, and understandably so!…my problem is getting her to understand that she is wasting alot of the money she doesn’t have, on things that i don’t need….anyways…hope you all loved the story…we all need to get back to a time where christmas is about being together, regardless of gifts….Merry Christmas to all!
December 17th, 2007 at 6:03 pm Subscribed to Comments
maybe even boycotting one christmas and making all about family and not about gifts….i bet retailers would love that!
December 18th, 2007 at 9:34 am
If you could get enough people together to do it then it would make a dent– and who knows what it would do to the stock market. It’s sick when we base our economy on the generosity of people at Christmastime!
December 18th, 2007 at 9:39 am Subscribed to Comments
i bet there are a lot more families that just buy kids a bunch of stuff just because its christmas, rather than deal with “family” time at christmas. If kids get mad at buying them the wrong gift…imagine how bad it would be if they got nothing!
December 18th, 2007 at 10:03 am
You’re probably right, Chris. There are all different reasons for buying at Christmas time, and I’m sure this is one of the times of year that Children tend to dominate the parents!
December 19th, 2007 at 2:36 am Subscribed to Comments
Here is a hard one… my toddler children whent with dad to buy me a gift and came back with a fish tank and dozen of gold fish and one beta fish… I did my time in life trying to keep gold fish alive, I can’t get them to last longer than a week… and to have a beta in the tank with them, OH DEAR… can we say that there is going to be problems on both sides of the fence with these fish! Now, I’ve said that to say this… I just don’t want to take care of fish on top of 4 kids, 3 cats, 8 plants, my homework, 2 kid’s homework, housework, and daily chores of being a house wife and student… I feel like crap that I don’t like the gift because it’s what my children want me to have. I don’t really know what to say or do about this… and I am talking about 2 children from the ages 3 and 4.