Weekend Kindness
Reaching Others Through Kindness

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“How do you train your children, boys especially, when their dad is just as bad as they are at…picking up after himself?”

This question was posed at my mom’s group yesterday after watching a Christian DVD on Teaching Responsibility. The discussion that followed? Everyone had several points to make. I’d say it’s a topic rife with angst if the reaction of this small group of 8-10 women was any indication.

Now, I don’t advocate husband bashing, obviously, and this didn’t turn into such an event, though it came perilously near once or twice.

My advice? First, we’re not our husband’s mothers. It’s not our job to “fix” him. Second, chances are, we’re the main parent most of the time while our husbands are in the workplace–so train those boys and girls as God would have you train them. As you and your husband have decided to train them.

Most important, instead of focusing on the negative:

• My spouse is so inconsiderate or he/she’d __________. (you fill in the blank)

Focus on the positive. Think of all your spouse does for you, little and big. Don’t keep track of all the little annoyances, and believe me, they’ll become as the dust in the floor cracks, never to resurface again. Serving your mate will become second nature, the joy may not always be there, but the right attitude releases the potential for stress.

Someone’s thinking, “But we shouldn’t have to pick up after him…”

Um, yes, technically…we wives are our husband’s helpmeets…painful on those taken-for-granted days when one more chore to do looms as high as all the laundry you’ve folded that week…

So, really, what do you appreciate about your spouse? Make a list and refer to it more than twice. Add to it. Share it with him or her. Even if it starts with:

“You don’t get on my nerves.”

And part of the process is thanking your better half for these things. If you’ve got clean socks, men, how about snagging that wife for a hug and a “You’re the greatest!” Unexpected praises go a long way.

Women, when your man steps up to the plate, tell him how proud you are to be married to him. I know I’m incredibly grateful that my guy’s out there taking on the world so I can stay at home with our children.

Appreciation is where it’s at.

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