 | Relationship Builder, Weekend KindnessDinner ConversationPosted Monday, August 20th, 2007 and visited 498 times, 1 so far today by Leslie |
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Karl and I are working on our tenth year of marriage, but we’ve known one another for fifteen years. We still love to spend time together alone, but sometimes it’s hard to find something different to talk about. There are the usual topics like the kids, school, and work, but those are a far cry from the topics discussed over our romantic dinners together 1999BK (Before Kids).
After building a home and family together, there just isn’t much left to our imaginations when it comes to knowing one another. There are no secrets, no real mysteries anymore. We can finish one another’s sentences and know what the other is thinking just by a look. We have enough history and “inside” lingo between us that we can carry on entire conversations with one another that no one else is able to comprehend. While this is very sweet in some respects, it doesn’t help when we don’t already have something to talk about.
Last weekend, my sweet man treated me to dinner at a very nice, family-owned Italian restaurant. As we sat opposite one another, we made small talk about the furnishings and the menu. After we placed our drink orders with the server, we stared at one another for a few moments before Karl asked, “What do you want to talk about?”
“All I know for certain is that I don’t want to talk about our children,” I replied.
After all, we had asked the in-laws to take the kids for a few hours so that we could have some time together without them. Why would I want to spend my first peaceful dinner of the week talking about them?
Karl asked my thoughts on a couple of co-worker related issues and then said, “OK. I have an idea for our dinner conversation…We can’t possibly know everything there is to know about one another, so let’s take turns sharing things that we think the other doesn’t already know. You go first.”
I had to think for a few seconds, but by the time we ordered our meal, I had thought of at least two things to share. We took turns sharing “new” details of our lives. It was so much fun we continued throughout our evening together.
Though I’ve known him for half of my life now, there are so many things I have yet to learn about this wonderful man I married. I thought I knew everything about him, but I was reminded that he has a history, dreams and desires, and hopes that I have yet to discover. Not only did I learn some things, he listened and discovered some new details about me. It is such a blessing to have a spouse who is still interested in getting to know me.
Being married to the same person for the rest of my life will be far from boring!
Spend some time this week getting to know your spouse a little better. You may be reminded of how much you really enjoy being together and how much you actually like one other. You’ll definitely be surprised by how much you have yet to discover.
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August 20th, 2007 at 10:12 am
This is terrific, Leslie! I had already found that it was hard to do BK talk with friends (esp. friends that had kids) since our lives tend to revolve around them, and yet we must do it!
I think that some of the things that we can share can be things about what we are currently doing, thinking, and feeling, but we can also discuss dreams, goals, and plans. What excites our imagination, that kind of thing.
Thank you for this post!
August 30th, 2007 at 10:04 am Subscribed to Comments
This was a great post! My favorite most intimate feeling talks are when we discuss current adult happenings/dreams with each other. It’s so nice to be on the same page and interested in each other, isn’t it?
Great idea.
August 30th, 2007 at 11:58 am
It seems so easy to end up talking about the kids– doesn’t it? It’s what “we do all day”– and I find that it’s what we talk about even when we’re with people without kids!