Weekend Kindness
Reaching Others Through Kindness

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That’s how the New Living Translation translates the word “forbear” in Colossians 3:13: “Make allowance for each other’s faults.” Other versions say “forbearing”, or “bearing with”. This idea of making allowance, however, caught my attention. It gives me a couple of pictures of how we’re to deal with difficult people.

First, I thought of the word “allowance” like an underpass that goes under a bridge. It has a certain allowance for cars and trucks to go beneath it without getting hurt or ruined. We need to be the kinds of people that “make allowance” for fellow believers that we disagree with, giving them room to make it through a tight spot without injury or embarrassment. Whether the one we’re frustrated with is our spouse, a person in church we don’t particularly care for, or someone who rubbed us the wrong way on a bad day, we need to give them room to be human, just as we are.

Second, “allowance” gives someone an additional amount of grace or understanding, recognizing that they are at a disadvantage. If a third grader took the SAT, one would make allowance for his age and, rather than focusing on what he missed, would see the things he got right. This is the way we should see one another: as children of God, dearly loved, but desperately human, and living in a web of wickedness and sin. When someone frustrates us, our response ought not be to focus on that instance of wrong, but rather to be amazed at all the things that have gone right between us. When two humans can peacefully coexist, amidst sin, our flesh working within us, and the evil world in which live, it truly is an amazing thing. We need to consider the disadvantage we’re all at, and assess situations accordingly.

When someone wrongs us or frustrates us or “gets under our skin”, the answer is forbearance. Forgiveness is for past faults and hurts, but forbearing (making allowance for) is for present faults and hurts. Let’s forbear one another- in our homes, in our churches, and even, yes, on the internet!

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