Engagement, Husbands, Relationship Builder, Wives

Right and Lonely

Posted Friday, August 17th, 2007 and visited 405 times, 1 so far today
by VeiledGlory

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As newlyweds, Jeff and I were given lots of advice and a stack of books we should read to get us off on the right track in our marriage. One such golden rule was this, “You can be right and lonely or wrong and happy.” This means that you can argue your point down to the ground and drive away your spouse or you can choose to let the disagreement drop for the sake of loving unity. We didn’t have to wait until our wedding day to prove this maxim was correct.

About two months before our wedding in July of 2006, we went out to dinner at Cracker Barrel. The waitress was not serving us properly. We got into an argument about it near the end of the meal, though I don’t remember the details.  I was arguing from my emotions; he was arguing from his intellect. Then Jeff uttered the famous last words, “Am I right?” I stood up and walked out of the dining room to the cashiers. He was right and lonely!

We laugh about that argument now and use it to counsel others. Repeatedly, we’ve seen other couples who are brought almost to separation over seemingly small arguments. Usually, underneath, there are huge issues of bitterness, the root of divorce. You know how the seeds of bitterness are sown? They are nourished through always having to be right…even down to the dirty socks he always tosses on the floor. We’ve learned to put aside the pettiness and enjoy each other’s company instead.


Anna runs the Veiled Glory blog which focuses on the issues of modesty and head covering for Christian women. She is a newlywed, an excuse she uses for nearly everything sweet and cute done in public with her husband. They love to go hiking, read to each other, and eat great home-cooked meals. Anna works at a university library and hopes to become a full-time homemaker in the near future.
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2 Responses to “Right and Lonely”

  1. MyAvatars 0.2 MInTheGap Says:
    August 17th, 2007 at 3:04 pm

    Thanks for sharing this, Anna. I’ve found that, all too often, I’ll think to myself “Is it worth it to be ‘right’.” Most of the time it’s not.

    I think it’s all a part of loving our spouse more than we love ourself.

  2. MyAvatars 0.2 Revka Says:
    August 18th, 2007 at 8:57 am Subscribed to Comments

    Silly me - I left the comment I wanted to leave here over at your personal blog. (smacks head) Okay, thanks for this helpful reminder.

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