Wives

Wives: Let’s Get Serious

Posted Thursday, August 16th, 2007 and visited 489 times, 1 so far today
by Mary

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In 1 Corinthians 11:9 it says,

“Neither was the man created for the woman, but the woman for the man.”

Are we passionate about our calling as wives to the men that God gave us? Remember, we chose this man…however many years ago. Chances are we were a little blind to one another’s faults, and maybe we vainly thought our love would influence a few changes. I know my husband and I have grown more and more like each other in good and bad ways, since the “merge”!

How many of our spouse’s faults can we overlook? I’m going to go out on a limb here, and give a radical answer. All non-violent faults can be overlooked. All faults can be forgiven. Of course, if you or your children are in danger, seek help.

I’ve read testimonies of women who have had cheating husbands; husbands addicted to pornography, alcohol/drugs; husbands that are married to their jobs; severely depressed husbands…and these women were all able to see past the obvious and find something good about their man. And they clung to that good quality.

For one woman, it was the fact that her husband was a wonderful provider. He had a hair-trigger temper which manifested itself in verbal ruptures from time to time, but he made sure his family was taken care of, and he never laid a hand on any of them. Another friend says she focuses on what a great daddy her husband is to their children. And I’ll never forget my online friend, Connie, who raised her big family all alone for years while her husband served time. She and the kids welcomed him home with both arms wide open when his sentence was up. He remained an unbeliever for many years but last I heard he was more open than ever before to Christianity.

I think it was Elisabeth Elliot that said, “Tell your spouse the positives, and God the negatives.” Cover those faults with prayer and don’t dwell on them otherwise. It is not your job as wife, to “fix” your husband. In fact, we are told in 1 Peter 3:1-2,

“In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any {of them} are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.”

We’re to be submissive even to disobedient husbands! And we’re to win them without a word by our behavior. This is practically a promise to wives here, and how often do we cut our own throats by ranting and raving or walking around with hurt feelings, or by tearing our men down to their own children? We can’t do this and expect miracles.

Bottom line: Even undeserving men can be won over by a woman who is content to serve God by serving her husband. It takes a lot of grace, but God promises grace to the humble.

So are you humble? Or are you contentious? I highly recommend the “Contentious Woman Quiz”. After you take the quiz, be sure to keep reading for helps on how to curb that habit and cultivate a gentle and quiet spirit.

In the meantime, remember the power of your thought life, and protect it and your marriage in the process.

Philippians 4:8, “Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.”

Proverbs 16:3, Commit thy works unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established.”

Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5



Mary is a cowboy's wife and a homeschooling mother of three who hopes to use her love of the written word for God's glory and to encourage others.
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6 Responses to “Wives: Let’s Get Serious”

  1. MyAvatars 0.2 Kathryn Says:

    I’m reminded of a time I scolded my husband for getting angry at a clerk. Just as I hit my stride the Holy Spirit quited my spirit and I backed off instead. I even apologized for saying anything to my husband.

    A few days later, he told me how the way he treated that clerk had started to disturb him. He eventually took some time to go by there and apologize to her.

    Imagine, God did it with out me saying a word. Hmmm, maybe he is capable after all.

  2. MyAvatars 0.2 MInTheGap Says:

    Thanks for your comment, Kathryn. You’re right, too often we feel we “have to say something” when it’s just better to be quiet and let the Holy Spirit work and to pray for our spouse.

  3. MyAvatars 0.2 Mary Says:

    Great example, Kathryn, thanks for sharing it! I, too, have seen this work. It’s almost as though God is showing us what He can do when we back off and let Him!

  4. MyAvatars 0.2 Revka Says:

    One idea that I like to practice is that I am not to be my husband’s “Holy Spirit” - trying to convict him of what I think is wrong. God is able to do a much better job than I ever could, as demonstrated by Kathryn’s comment.

  5. MyAvatars 0.2 Mary Says:

    Exactly Revka!

  6. MyAvatars 0.2 MInTheGap Says:

    What a strange line we walk sometimes. Christians are supposed to be about building each other up and lifting one out when we stumble. Often, though, I find that it’s usually easier to say “I told you so” than to actually want to help in love.

    And husbands have the double whammy– they’re supposed to be “washing [their wives] with the water of the Word”. In essence, part of our job is to make sure that our wives are living godly. That can be a handful in itself.

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