 | Relationship BuilderChore SurprisePosted Friday, August 10th, 2007 and visited 258 times, 1 so far today by revka |
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In our household (and, I assume, in yours as well), we all have jobs that have become “our” chores. For instance, Mr. Incredible takes care of the garbage and all outside work. I am responsible for maintaining the interior of our home, and our girls are supposed to make their beds and clean up the messes they make. (We’re still working on that! *smile*)
Here’s a way I like to surprise the members of our home from time to time: complete someone else’s chore without being asked and without saying anything about it. I love the look of pleased surprise on Mr. Incredible’s face when he comes home to find the garbage has already been taken out. My girls love it when I make their beds “beautiful” for them instead of their having to do it themselves. I love when someone does the dishes for me.
Think about your loved ones’ normal chores and choose one (or more) to complete as a surprise. You are certain to enjoy the pleasure others experience because of your thoughtfulness, and your loved ones will surely appreciate the care expressed by your action.
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August 12th, 2007 at 4:08 pm Subscribed to Comments
So true! I, too, love to make my daughters’ beds for them now and then. Especially my 7 yo’s, she tries hard but it’s not easy on the top bunk! She just loves it when I surprise her this way. And I just love it when dh takes it in his mind to do the dishes (VERY rare)…makes me feel so cherished.
It’s strange though, whenever I surprise him by mowing the lawn or something, he almost takes it as a criticism that he hadn’t gotten around to it yet. I don’t want him to take it that way! Sadly, I think it stems from our first few years when I thought the lawn needed mowed each weekend. Hey, that’s how often my dad did it! I like to think I’m much easier to get along with now! Lol.
Good post, Revka!
MIn, I’m really enjoying the “new” Weekend Kindness. Nice to have it active again!
August 12th, 2007 at 10:55 pm Subscribed to Comments
Mary, I’m glad you like this post and that you already practice this idea.
Mr. Incredible rarely does the dishes for me, either, but I, like you, feel oh-so-cherished when he does - possibly because it is such a rare event.
In light of your explanation, I can understand how your husband may be feeling, though not from a spouse’s point of view. There are people close to me who actually have criticized me often for not accomplishing tasks as they would have them done, and I find it very hard to not take it as silent criticsm when they do things for me without my requesting their help.
As one who lives with this situation, may I be so bold as to say that in due time your husband may welcome your unsolicited help? I know that, if I were convinced there were no ulterior motives or criticisms involved, I would be thrilled when the aforementioned people step in to lend a hand.
Please understand that I am only trying to offer you some encouragement and nothing more.
August 13th, 2007 at 2:07 pm
Interesting. Being somewhat the token male so far
I think guys can take help in their areas in a negative way sometimes– just as they can take reminders this way! Even if a spouse is trying to be helpful, if they’re constantly reminding you of something (esp. if it’s something you’ve already done) this can become negative even if you don’t mean it that way.
August 13th, 2007 at 2:17 pm Subscribed to Comments
Thanks, MIn, for adding your male’s perspective.
What you said makes plenty of sense. No one likes to be nagged or criticized.
I determined before I was anywhere near marriageable age that I would not be a nagging wife. I make a point to ask only once for Mr. Incredible to do something and not to “remind” him of it later. I am blessed in that he is the kind of guy who is very responsible and dependable, always taking care of his duties.
However, even had he been a careless husband, I do not believe that nagging would accomplish anything other than to make him resistant to completing the chore, if only out of spite.
Do you like your wife to occasionally assume of your normal responsibilities, and, if so, which ones?
August 13th, 2007 at 2:19 pm Subscribed to Comments
Make that: Do you like your wife to occasionally assume some of your normal responsibilities, and, if so, which ones?