 | Relationship BuilderThe Kindness of StrangersPosted Tuesday, August 7th, 2007 and visited 301 times, 1 so far today by revka |
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I’m sure you’re familiar with the phrase which titles this post. It is a portion of a famous line from a play; however, I find it both ironic and sad that the words “kindness” and “strangers” should be so firmly linked.
Is there not, however, much truth in that linkage? Am I the only one who oft finds it easier to be kinder to a stranger than I am to those “nearest and dearest” to me? That ought not be the case. Kindness should be most often expressed toward those in my own home. Ill-temper, impatience, discourtesy - these are all manifestations of unkindness in my life.
If I am to have healthy and joyful relationships with others (my spouse, children, friends, family members, and even strangers), I must exercise myself to be kind. I must not let familiarity breed contempt and must take care to root out the attitude that those closest to me should not take offense at any unkindness because I am just “letting down my hair” and “being me.” Instead, I must apply the wise advice of my grandmother: treat your family with the same courtesy and consideration you would treat a stranger. Or, as the Bible puts it, “do unto others as ye would have them do unto you.”
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August 7th, 2007 at 11:32 am
That is interesting, Revka. I always noticed that my dad seemed like two different people at nights when he came home from work and on Saturdays. He had so much more energy on Saturdays.
It’s like we all have to put on a face when we’re at work and actually are concerned with how people react to us. At home we get in the habit of thinking that it doesn’t matter and that they can see the worst because they do.
It’s not just attitude, but how we conduct ourselves, what we wear, and even the time that we’ll take in building our relationships.
Man, what a challenge!
August 8th, 2007 at 3:25 pm Subscribed to Comments
I know when I was little, I had it in my mind that my mommy and daddy wore masks, and behind their “nice face” was somebody mean and angry that could POP out unexpectedly and scare me. Weird, huh. I have the best parents in the world, and to this day, can’t remember mom ever raising her voice at me (dad, yes!). But as a grown-up, I think back to that skewed idea I had and get sad. Is that what my girls think of me when I lose my temper suddenly, and it’s not even their fault?
Good thing to point out, Revka.
August 9th, 2007 at 10:47 pm Subscribed to Comments
Hey, MIn, thanks for adding the illustration of your father. I do think one of the pitfalls at home is that it is home and is supposed to be the place where you don’t have to wear a mask. However, I think that too often we slip into the habit of losing our manners and thoughtfulness toward others in our home, and that is simply not right. (Ask me how I know all this!
)
Mary, I worry about the same thing with my girls. I don’t want them to remember me as always yelling or even as being unpredictable. I want them to remember me as a kind, tender, and loving mother, and I am going to have to school myself to be that kind of a person all the time.
August 9th, 2007 at 11:17 pm
It’s funny (in a sad way) that we are roughest with the people closest to us, and that we are that duplicitous. I think both Christians and non-Christians have the tendency to “wear the mask” when we should be who we are. That’s not saying that we should not control the bad things and that we should spew the bad things that are going on in our heads, but we should also not be hypocrites, pretending to be something that we are not. It’s only going to catch up to us!
August 10th, 2007 at 9:37 am Subscribed to Comments
Absolutely. I think when I was working and had to exercise restraint in order to properly deal with difficult people and/or situations, I was more prone to be ugly or downright hateful at home. Is that right? Absolutely not!
In my life, I feel as though I am battling this hideous monster that, if I let escape my control, will utterly consume me and cause unspeakable harm to those I love the most. I suppose it’s just that sin nature that we all have, but it’s scary at times to think of what I would be capable of doing without the restraining power of being a new creature in Christ.
I think that growing in grace and exhibiting the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, etc.) should be a part of our lives and not a mask we put on and take off as is convenient for us, and that is what I, personally, need to work on improving.