 | Relationship BuilderAttitude Makes a DifferencePosted Sunday, August 5th, 2007 and visited 208 times, 1 so far today by revka |
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So you say you love your spouse. Do your attitudes and actions reflect that love?
As one who often struggles with anger, I frequently have to run an attitude check on myself because I tend to use anger as a cover-up for other feelings such as guilt, hurt, and disappointment. I am also prone to anger when I am hungry or tired.
Here’s a prime example of a time when I often succumb to anger:
- My husband walks in the door at the end of the day and is greeted by the children’s mess in the living room, laundry piled on the guest bed, and no supper preparations begun.
At this point, I feel incredibly frustrated and guilty about the state of the house and the fact that I haven’t even begun to make supper. Instead of being honest and communicating to him that I am frustrated with myself, I turn that emotion into anger and impatience. I ask you (and myself), what kind of welcome is that for my poor husband? That’s not a welcome I would want to receive at the end of the long day!
An act of kindness toward my spouse would be to take a deep breath, swallow the angry and impatient words I long to utter, let my husband know that I am feeling guilty over the work that I have failed to accomplish, and determine not to take my frustrations out on him or the girls.
You see, attitude can make all the difference in a relationship. Sometimes, the best way to be kind to a spouse is to give them the gift of a good attitude. I know I will keep working on this area in my life, and I know my dear husband will certainly appreciate having a wife with a better attitude.
How do you refrain from succumbing to a bad attitude?
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August 5th, 2007 at 8:17 pm Subscribed to Comments
Ooh, what a good and honest post. I’ve noticed that about me too, when I’m hungry or tired. But I usually don’t take it out on my spouse, more often on our kids, and it’s sad either way. I have noticed though, an amazing difference in my “stretch-a-bility” on days that I’ve prioritized time in the Word. It shouldn’t be amazing, but it is.
Thanks, Revka, for sharing this. It’s so true about choosing to react rightly, but it takes being aware of your triggers and planning accordingly!
August 5th, 2007 at 10:37 pm Subscribed to Comments
Mary, I also find that spending time in the Word is critical to my having the needed patience to deal with stress with grace instead of with the ungodly attitudes I talked about above. I am so glad you brought that up; I should have mentioned that in the post. Thanks for adding to this topic.
August 6th, 2007 at 8:13 am
I think that Mary has a good point when she talks about knowing what “sets us off.” Knowing that a particular thing can lead to frustration is a good indication that we should do something about it before it frustrates us.
Another thing that I have found that really effects our attitude is sleep. If we’re getting enough of it then we will have the tendency to be able to handle stressful situations better than if we are tired out.
August 6th, 2007 at 12:38 pm Subscribed to Comments
Yes, I agree that you have to know what will set you off in order to be able to plan to avoid that certain situation. Taking preventive measures is always better than having to mop up a mess afterward!
I am particularly prone to being impatient and short-tempered when I am tired or hungry. So I need to make sure that I get enough sleep and don’t forget to eat.