Weekend Kindness
Reaching Others Through Kindness

What was your engagement story?  Here’s our chance to find out how we all got engaged.

Announcing the Weekend Kindness “What’s Your Story?” meme. 

Here’s how it works:

• Copy the link to this image (hot – linking is fine by me!)
• Write your story of how you got engaged.
• Select 3 bloggers that are married or have gotten engaged and let them know that you want to know their story.
• Make sure you link back to this How Did You Get Engaged post.

Here’s some handy code:

The Complete Husband
By Lou Priolo

In this chapter, the author stars out with a personal account of a moving incident in his life where a music minister made the following comment to him:

If we Christians are in any business at all, it’s the communication business.

And he’s right.  Whether it’s preaching the gospel, teaching others to make disciples or admonishing a brother we’re communicating.  In fact, Priolo stats that there are over forty communication commands in the New Testament epistles!

The point that he’s trying to make is that we have to be communicating with one another if we’re going to be able to experience the level of intimacy that is called for in marriage.  The degree to which we are willing to reveal ourselves to each other will have a direct impact on how close we can get to one another.  That’s why the questions that he had us guys ask our wives in the last section cut so close to the heart.  We have to be willing to be vulnerable if we want to learn our wife’s heart.

So, practically, this means that we, as husbands, need to be talking to our wives.  If you need a handful of suggestions about what to talk about, he provides a few:

1. Bible Doctrine – Does your wife feel comfortable talking with you about what the Bible says?  Asking you questions?
2. Your home – It’s the “base of operations” for your wife’s ministry.  “The condition and appearance of your home is probably more important to her than you realize.”
3. The children – Dad, your the manager in the home, and you’re the one ultimately responsible.  You should be talking about your children.
4. Your job – Since she’s your helper she may be able to help you better if she knows what’s gone on during your day– no matter how much you don’t want to talk about it.
5. Her family (your in-laws) – There have been many Biblical conflicts that had inlaws at the center of them.  You need to have Biblical conversations about her family and their influence.
6. Her friends – Do you care about who she chooses as friends?  They can influence her for good or evil.  You have an outside view in, you should be giving her the benefit of your perspective.
7. Her ministries (inside and outside of the home) – “Life is a ministry.”  Are you encouraging her to minister outside the home?  Are you helping her discover her gifts for service?
8. Her goals for the future – Personal goals, goals of mutual interest, and other goals she has should be exciting for us as well.
9. Specific ways you can be a better husband and father – Again with the humility.  But then again, she is a helper, and has a perspective that we don’t.  “When was the last time you asked you wife for her evaluation of how you’re doing in these areas?”
10. Things you do which bother her – This topic is guaranteed to proved you hours of interesting discussion.

Whew– and that’s only to get your started!

Today’s assignment will take a little planning and some of us are going to be a little better and making this prettier than others:

Make a coupon book and include coupons for a back rub, a compromise when about to lose an argument, a listening ear when needed, and doing the dishes when the other cooks.

I have a funny story here– this past weekend our church had a going away carry-in meal for a family that’s relocating.  I was standing in line waiting to get food for my kids, when I just reached out in front of me to one of the male senior saints in the church and started to give him a back massage.  After asking how much I charged (he could never afford it!) he said that he hoped my wife got the same benefit he was getting.

Do we take the time to indulge our partners in massages, or playing with hair, or doing something out of the ordinary?  Then this is just the thing to help break out of the routine!

Anyone want to post something unique you’re putting in your coupon book?  I bet Revka will have something in there involving Transformers. :)

Hello everybody! I was pleasantly surprised to be invited by MInTheGap to contribute here at Weekend Kindness and am excited to join y’all. :o)

My name is Amy and I am wife & helpmeet to my wonderful husband, Sean, and new mother to our zany little daughter, Miss Peapod, who is soon to be ten months old. I have had the opportunity to serve my Heavenly Father, husband, and now our daughter, as a “keeper at home” ever since I married. We have just recently returned to our adopted home state of Georgia, after the completion of my husband’s military service this past spring, and are excited to be living “civilian life” once again. My husband and I have called six different addresses home over the past few years and will finally be settling down at one home for at least a year (God willing) in just two short weeks. This blessing from the Lord is something I am most thankful for and I cannot wait to see where He might lead us next!

I blog at Clothesline Alley about a host of Godly womanhood topics, ranging from femininity, modesty, motherhood, homemaking, and everything in between. Writing, sharing with, and learning from others are all passions of mine and I feel blessed to have opportunity to partake in all of these activities and more through the Christian blogosphere.

I look forward to the pleasure of contributing here at Weekend
Kindness and hope that many interesting discussions are to come. Many blessings!!

~Amy

The Complete Husband
By Lou Priolo

The best way to get to know your wife is to talk to her.  But instead of asking her about the weather, try instead to ask her things that build your relationship– intimate questions.

In the second chapter (entitled Back to School for the Rest of My Life!) of our book, the author suggests 11 questions that we can ask our wives to get to know them better.  Warning, these are not for the faint of heart:

1. If you could change three things about me that would make me more Christ-like, what would you change?
2. Do I have any other annoying mannerisms or irritating idiosyncrasies that you would like to see me change?
3. How does it make you feel when I… (name something that you know displeases her)?
4. What goes through your mind when I… (name something that you know displeases her)?
5. What do you want from me that I’m not giving you at the moment I… (name something that you know displeases her)?
6. What specifically would you like to see me do to change in this area (name something that you know displeases her)?
7. On a scale from one to ten, how would you rate our marriage?
8. What would it take to make our marriage a ten?
9. What is your opinion about?
10. What personal goals do you have for your life?  How may I help you achieve them?
11. Do you have any needs or desires that you believe I ought to be meeting or fulfilling better than I do?  What are they?

He then goes on to tell us to add further questions of our own.

One thing’s for sure, if you start with these questions I’m sure your wife will say some interesting things!

The Complete Husband
By Lou Priolo

In order for husbands to know their wives better, they need to know both about women in general and their woman (you) in particular.  You see, ladies, sometimes your very patterns of behavior totally confuse a man, especially when he thinks he has you figured out.

Like take an average trip to Wal*Mart.  I was sent to go pick up the yogurt for the week.  Knowing that Virtuous Blonde has mentioned in the past that she likes Key Lime Pie Yogurt, I pick up a bunch– thinking that I’ve gotten her favorite kind to eat.

After getting home and eating them for a few days, I begin to wonder why she’s eating the yogurt I picked out for myself, since there are still more Key Line Pie Yogurts in the refrigerator.  It turns out that she really doesn’t like those any more– but unlike my computer that notifies me that an update is available, she didn’t tell me.

Back to roles, since it’s important for Husbands and Wives to know their Biblical roles, Lou Priolo has a chart, which I will condense here:

He then goes on to list a woman’s makeup:

Whew, there’s a lot in the Scripture about you ladies!