Comments on: What to Do When Someone Dies http://www.weekendkindness.net/2007/05/30/what-to-do-when-someone-dies/ Reaching Others Through Kindness Thu, 22 Jul 2010 12:57:18 -0400 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.6 hourly 1 By: d http://www.weekendkindness.net/2007/05/30/what-to-do-when-someone-dies/comment-page-1/#comment-6301 d Sat, 15 May 2010 00:32:34 +0000 http://www.weekendkindness.net/?p=73#comment-6301 Just PLEASE don't say...they are in a better place..that is one of the worst things you can say. Also, everything happens for a reason. That is almost tied with the number one thing NOT to say to someone who has lost a loved one. Just PLEASE don’t say…they are in a better place..that is one of the worst things you can say. Also, everything happens for a reason. That is almost tied with the number one thing NOT to say to someone who has lost a loved one.

]]> By: thankschef http://www.weekendkindness.net/2007/05/30/what-to-do-when-someone-dies/comment-page-1/#comment-6213 thankschef Mon, 22 Mar 2010 11:42:43 +0000 http://www.weekendkindness.net/?p=73#comment-6213 I lost my mother in November 2009 when I was away on a study grant in Costa Rica. It was the most difficult time in my life and until now i still feel an empty hole in my chest when i think of her. I met a chef who became my close friend including his mom. They opened the doors of their home for me to just crash when I wasn't sleeping well and I was fed healthily when I didn't feel like eating. He listened quietly when i cried and laughed with me when I remembered funny times with my mom. He talked me through a lot of the things i was confused with and I ended up refocusing on studies and learning a lot more about life and on keeping my emotions in check. His mere presence wasn't just comforting for there were times I would argue with him and in the process I find myself and I feel I have grown to be more of myself despite the loss. Today, I still feel the sadness and I do embrace the moment and be still or cry over my loss... but after the moment passes I feel better and life goes on. My mom wouldn't want me to be sad forever... she would want me to do better things with my time. If not for my friend... I would have totally lost my mind and I wouldn't be making a difference today in the lives of people around me. I thank him for simply being there with out complications when my life seemed to be a total mess. =) I lost my mother in November 2009 when I was away on a study grant in Costa Rica. It was the most difficult time in my life and until now i still feel an empty hole in my chest when i think of her.

I met a chef who became my close friend including his mom. They opened the doors of their home for me to just crash when I wasn’t sleeping well and I was fed healthily when I didn’t feel like eating. He listened quietly when i cried and laughed with me when I remembered funny times with my mom. He talked me through a lot of the things i was confused with and I ended up refocusing on studies and learning a lot more about life and on keeping my emotions in check. His mere presence wasn’t just comforting for there were times I would argue with him and in the process I find myself and I feel I have grown to be more of myself despite the loss.

Today, I still feel the sadness and I do embrace the moment and be still or cry over my loss… but after the moment passes I feel better and life goes on. My mom wouldn’t want me to be sad forever… she would want me to do better things with my time. If not for my friend… I would have totally lost my mind and I wouldn’t be making a difference today in the lives of people around me.

I thank him for simply being there with out complications when my life seemed to be a total mess. =)

]]> By: migraine causes http://www.weekendkindness.net/2007/05/30/what-to-do-when-someone-dies/comment-page-1/#comment-6208 migraine causes Fri, 12 Mar 2010 03:17:10 +0000 http://www.weekendkindness.net/?p=73#comment-6208 I am sorry for every one who lost any one, it is very hard to lose someone who was part of your life, but what can we do! it is the life.. .-= migraine causes´s last blog ..<a href="http://www.migrainecause.net/2010/03/what-are-migraine-causes/">What are migraine causes?</a> =-. I am sorry for every one who lost any one, it is very hard to lose someone who was part of your life, but what can we do! it is the life..
migraine causes´s last blog ..What are migraine causes? My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: animekitten6 http://www.weekendkindness.net/2007/05/30/what-to-do-when-someone-dies/comment-page-1/#comment-5815 animekitten6 Tue, 03 Mar 2009 06:36:29 +0000 http://www.weekendkindness.net/?p=73#comment-5815 I lost my 15 year old brother over a year ago when I was 17. One of the worst experiences was the amount of people in our home and the amount of people I had to hug at his funeral. Grieving for me is a process that needs to happen with family...or alone. While it was nice that people brought over meals...we didn't eat them. I didn't really eat much that week...and when I did it was mostly fast food and soda...that's just how I cope. carbohydrates. The best thing to do for someone who is grieving is offering to run errands. My mother refused to let me drive the day that my brother died to go pick up my boyfriend from work (I was slightly suicidal in the months before his death) and my boyfriend didn't have a ride otherwise...thank god my best friend's mother stepped in and drove me to pick him up. He was the one person I needed to comfort me. I lost my 15 year old brother over a year ago when I was 17. One of the worst experiences was the amount of people in our home and the amount of people I had to hug at his funeral. Grieving for me is a process that needs to happen with family…or alone. While it was nice that people brought over meals…we didn’t eat them. I didn’t really eat much that week…and when I did it was mostly fast food and soda…that’s just how I cope. carbohydrates. The best thing to do for someone who is grieving is offering to run errands. My mother refused to let me drive the day that my brother died to go pick up my boyfriend from work (I was slightly suicidal in the months before his death) and my boyfriend didn’t have a ride otherwise…thank god my best friend’s mother stepped in and drove me to pick him up. He was the one person I needed to comfort me.

]]> By: MInTheGap http://www.weekendkindness.net/2007/05/30/what-to-do-when-someone-dies/comment-page-1/#comment-4391 MInTheGap Fri, 11 Jan 2008 14:32:28 +0000 http://www.weekendkindness.net/?p=73#comment-4391 Wow. I lost my grandfather to prostate cancer (or actually, to the results of it as he was on blood transfusions which stopped taking toward the end) and that was my first close experience with death. Thinking about what you said regarding "I don't know what to say" makes sense to me. It allows for the feeling to come through-- to reach out emotionally rather than having yet another comment. A friend of mine (we met through blogging) just lost his grandfather this past week. He's flying down for the funeral this weekend. Though they weren't closed, he is unsaved, and that makes it more difficult. I don't believe that they were close, so a large part of this is for his dad. It really reminds you that we are not guaranteed days on this earth. Wow. I lost my grandfather to prostate cancer (or actually, to the results of it as he was on blood transfusions which stopped taking toward the end) and that was my first close experience with death. Thinking about what you said regarding “I don’t know what to say” makes sense to me. It allows for the feeling to come through– to reach out emotionally rather than having yet another comment.

A friend of mine (we met through blogging) just lost his grandfather this past week. He’s flying down for the funeral this weekend. Though they weren’t closed, he is unsaved, and that makes it more difficult. I don’t believe that they were close, so a large part of this is for his dad.

It really reminds you that we are not guaranteed days on this earth.

]]> By: Mandy Houk http://www.weekendkindness.net/2007/05/30/what-to-do-when-someone-dies/comment-page-1/#comment-4389 Mandy Houk Fri, 11 Jan 2008 02:12:14 +0000 http://www.weekendkindness.net/?p=73#comment-4389 I have lost a child to miscarriage; my daddy to liver disease; my granddaddy to congestive heart failure; a high school friend to a car accident; another high school friend to AIDS which he contracted from a blood transfusion in the 80s; and, most recently, my father-in-law to prostate cancer.The most important thing to do for someone who's lost a loved one is to be near them.  The most comforting thing to say is, "I don't know what to say."  Then be silent and ready for them to speak if they need to.I believe, when someone dies without Jesus, the focus must be on comforting the one that is left.  We can no longer do anything for the one who is gone; it is difficult to have no way of comforting the grieving one with the assurance that their loved one is in a better place.  But I believe that what we really must do is not try to say something that will make the grieving one feel better.  There are no words, really, to make them feel better.  Presence and kindness are the best comfort. I have lost a child to miscarriage; my daddy to liver disease; my granddaddy to congestive heart failure; a high school friend to a car accident; another high school friend to AIDS which he contracted from a blood transfusion in the 80s; and, most recently, my father-in-law to prostate cancer.The most important thing to do for someone who’s lost a loved one is to be near them.  The most comforting thing to say is, “I don’t know what to say.”  Then be silent and ready for them to speak if they need to.I believe, when someone dies without Jesus, the focus must be on comforting the one that is left.  We can no longer do anything for the one who is gone; it is difficult to have no way of comforting the grieving one with the assurance that their loved one is in a better place.  But I believe that what we really must do is not try to say something that will make the grieving one feel better.  There are no words, really, to make them feel better.  Presence and kindness are the best comfort.

]]> By: Weekend Kindness » Weekend Kindness 2007 Recap http://www.weekendkindness.net/2007/05/30/what-to-do-when-someone-dies/comment-page-1/#comment-4385 Weekend Kindness » Weekend Kindness 2007 Recap Thu, 10 Jan 2008 03:56:35 +0000 http://www.weekendkindness.net/?p=73#comment-4385 [...] What to Do When Someone Dies [...] [...] What to Do When Someone Dies [...]

]]> By: Are You Making a Difference? at MInTheGap http://www.weekendkindness.net/2007/05/30/what-to-do-when-someone-dies/comment-page-1/#comment-3688 Are You Making a Difference? at MInTheGap Wed, 30 May 2007 12:01:36 +0000 http://www.weekendkindness.net/?p=73#comment-3688 [...] this week’s weekend kindness for an instance. We are attempting to be a blessing to some neighbors who have recently lost a loved one. What we’ve missed is the opportunity on two occasions to help a stranded motorist. [...] [...] this week’s weekend kindness for an instance. We are attempting to be a blessing to some neighbors who have recently lost a loved one. What we’ve missed is the opportunity on two occasions to help a stranded motorist. [...]

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