 | Kindness On Display, Weekend KindnessWhat to Do When Someone DiesPosted Wednesday, May 30th, 2007 and visited 1626 times, 10 so far today by MInTheGap |
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One of the most popular posts read on MInTheGap has to do with the question “What to say when someone dies“. I believe that this is because this is one of the most difficult times in anyone’s life, facing the loss of a loved one.
I was once seated on an airplane on the way back from college next to someone that was on their way home for a funeral. It was difficult for me to be of comfort because I believe that if someone dies without accepting Jesus Christ as Savior then the person is destined for eternal separation from God.
Regardless, it was difficult to know what to say because the loss to this woman was very real. The same loss that I felt (if different in quantity) when I lost my grandfather last year. You miss the person, what they did, who they were and there’s a hole that is not easily filled.
This past weekend, our neighbors lost their oldest male patriarch. It started with the ambulance and fire truck whizzing by (someone must have called 911). It was too late– we later found out that the man had died in his son’s arms.
We could have pretended not to see what had happened. But, spurned on by the sermon about being a Good Samaritan, and looking for ways to minister, my wife has offered and will be making a meal for them.
How about you? Do you have someone that you know that has recently lost a loved one? How about a widow or widower? Someone that may be missing someone in their lives within the past year?
Why not be a source of encouragement this week and send them a card, offer to make them a meal, schedule some time to sit down and talk, say a little prayer for them, or all of the above. We need to be there for those that lose loved ones– we need to give the comfort that we have received in our time of loss.
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January 10th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
I have lost a child to miscarriage; my daddy to liver disease; my granddaddy to congestive heart failure; a high school friend to a car accident; another high school friend to AIDS which he contracted from a blood transfusion in the 80s; and, most recently, my father-in-law to prostate cancer.The most important thing to do for someone who’s lost a loved one is to be near them. The most comforting thing to say is, “I don’t know what to say.” Then be silent and ready for them to speak if they need to.I believe, when someone dies without Jesus, the focus must be on comforting the one that is left. We can no longer do anything for the one who is gone; it is difficult to have no way of comforting the grieving one with the assurance that their loved one is in a better place. But I believe that what we really must do is not try to say something that will make the grieving one feel better. There are no words, really, to make them feel better. Presence and kindness are the best comfort.
January 11th, 2008 at 9:32 am
Wow. I lost my grandfather to prostate cancer (or actually, to the results of it as he was on blood transfusions which stopped taking toward the end) and that was my first close experience with death. Thinking about what you said regarding “I don’t know what to say” makes sense to me. It allows for the feeling to come through– to reach out emotionally rather than having yet another comment.
A friend of mine (we met through blogging) just lost his grandfather this past week. He’s flying down for the funeral this weekend. Though they weren’t closed, he is unsaved, and that makes it more difficult. I don’t believe that they were close, so a large part of this is for his dad.
It really reminds you that we are not guaranteed days on this earth.